The Ring
by IDRC
Summary: There was so much meaning behind simply bringing Tweek his jacket that Tweek understood but Craig didn't.
1. Chapter 1

The ring was just one of those things South Park had that didn't belong. It was dusty and it sat in the gym for years probably. I doubt it crossed anyone's mind that you could actually use it, or at least that's what it was for me. Maybe nobody _wanted_ to use it.

One day after one of my tantrums, Coach had said to me, 'You ought to take up a sport, relieve some of that preteen angst.' When I told him all the sports the school offered sucked and I hated teams because people sucked too, he suggested boxing. I told him no one in South Park boxes and he told me one person does.

I never asked Tweek how long he had practiced by himself before we started hitting together but he was fucking good. I've pretty much summed it up to natural talent and nonstop practice. He's real quick and agile, strong too. He knows where to hit you to take you out… or maybe he just knows my personal weak spots. He's smart like that. He's a little shit.

We usually practice late, after school and extracurricular activities. We prefer the gym to be empty when we box. People hardly use the gym anyways so no one's around any time after six and coach trusts us to lock up.

Plus, the best things happen when we're alone in the gym at night.

Like Tweek will put his hair in a headband, which he'll do occasionally in front of people, specifically coach, but he'll also throw it in a ponytail. That. I've only seen him wear, boxing alone in the gym late at night. He'll take his shirt off. He's more verbal. He gets intense. But the best part by far is what happens after the boxing.

I'm fucking battered. Tweek's always good but today he's fucking perfect. He's fast, precise, strong, and mad, I think. His jabs hit every soft spot with an unanticipated amount of force. Not to mention I'm slacking too. But, I just can't seem to focus. Tweek hits me in the ribs again in a spot he had hit before; the exact same fucking spot. It's hard not to flinch. It's almost like he's actually trying to hurt me.

Tweek swings and clips my jaw. He does it quite easily and without an ounce of remorse. I'm his bitch now. I might as well be a punching bag to him. I can't move my fists away from my face without getting hit in the jaw and if I cover my face he just aims for my abs and ribs. It's not fun anymore. I'm starting to get frustrated. It's time to put an end to this.

I dodge two more hits and take a swing. I make contact with his side and he retreats. Tweek comes at me again and I dodge. He gets a in a hit, I fake him out, and hit him from the other side. Tweek swears incoherently. We shuffle around, jumping at each other a few more times before Tweek goes in for another hit. I can tell he's playing it safe. He went from blows to the face to a quick little jab to my side. I mean it still hurts like hell, but, I had to give him that hit to throw my punch to his face. It hit him dead in the nose.

Tweek stumbles back, grabbing his face. He spits out his mouth guard. "What the fuck?!" he exclaims.

I pull my own mouth guard out of my mouth. "You left yourself wide open," I tell him, unraveling my hand wrap.

"Bastard," his nose starts to drip with blood and I laugh. "You get mad when you're losing and start playing dirty!" he accuses.

"You get mad when you've lost and start blaming me when you're really just mad at yourself for being careless. And for proving once more that I'm better than you."

Tweek glares at me, ripping off his hand wraps and grabbing his mouth guard from the ground. He climbs out of the ring, walking over to his bag. He tilts his head back, holding a towel to his nose.

"C'mon," I call. "Don't be a pussy," I say, running a hand through my drenched hair. It falls back into place however, sticking to my face. I try to catch my breath, watching the blonde curse and knock my water bottle off the bench. "That's cute," I say. He kicks off my bag as well. I climb through the ropes. "Are you tired? Wanna work out?"

He glances over his shoulder at me with a scowl. "Fuck you. I'm going home."

"Oh," I say, with a smirk. "Alright."

Tweek throws his bag over his shoulder and chugs from his water as he walks to the locker room. I collect my things from the ground and follow him. I enter behind him after locking up the front of the gym. "How'd you think you did on James's test today?"

"The same way I feel on every test he gives," Tweek answers simply, tossing his shirt over his head and onto the floor in front of his locker, spinning in the combination.

"He's such a salty old man," I lean against the half-lockers occupying the center of the room.

"I like Mr. James," Tweek says. "I think he's a stoner."

I laugh loudly, "He is! He has to be!"

"He's kinda like, a hippie. I think it's cool. It's like I get to see what someone from the sixties is like."

I nod, "Yeah, but these tests are killing me."

Tweek shrugs with his back towards me. He pulls his headband off and pulls his hair loose of his ponytail before setting them both in his locker. I approach him from behind slow enough for him to not notice.

I brush his hair away from his neck and kiss it. Tweek gives a start. I plant another kiss in the same spot, holding a little longer this time. Tweek begins to speak but I turn him around and push him into the lockers, trapping him with my lips. Tweek kisses back, melting into me. I press my body against his, closing the little gap that remained between us.

We were already heated from boxing and the tension. Unless I made that part up but Tweek's eyes are so enticing, especially when he's boxing. They get intense. Like they are right now. I pull back for a moment just to see them low and confused.

I hike Tweek up and he wraps his legs around me almost like a reflex. I carry him to the half-lockers and lay him down against them. I could stare into his eyes all day but apparently he can't stare into mine because he breaks the contact for a kiss. He slams his lips on mine, knitting his fingers in my hair, tugging me closer.

We move against each other how we know the other likes. Tweek pulls at my hair, dragging his nails across my skin, and I nip at his cheek before attacking his neck with open mouthed kisses and bites. We're actually quite fervent but this is how it always is. The only reason I didn't slam Tweek down was because last time I did he got pissed and slapped me. I get too excited. Ha. This is probably the best part of my day.

Tweek's hand in my hair yanks my head to the side to expose my neck to him. He runs his tongue up, stopping at a spot I know he's left a hickey before and somehow this makes the area more sensitive. He sucks lightly before sinking his teeth into my skin. I groan.

I like hair pulling, Tweek likes biting, and we both like nails. It's simple. We try not to complicate it.

I cram my hand between our bodies pushing past shorts and underwear to stroke his growing member. Tweek whimpers and arches again into my palm. I trail kisses over his chin, across his jaw, and to his neck. I take my time, letting my lips travel his freckled skin, discovering crooks and curves until they find the perfect spot. I tease his skin with my teeth light before biting down hard. Tweek completely unravels, just like I knew he would. Tweek moans and then covers his mouth with his hand. One of his legs kicks out of his shorts and boxers and grips my waist, pulling me in closer and his hands wrap around me. He digs his nails into my back and I grind us together. Tweek lets out a loud breath. "Craig."

His voice hangs in the air, gracing my ears. I grind against him again, wondering if I can get the same response. He whines, "Craig." My stomach tightens and I shut my eyes tightly, biting him harder. Tweek kicks his shorts the rest of the way off and I kick them out of the way. He grabs the waistband of my shorts and hums, "Take 'em off."

I mutely comply, reaching for my shorts with one hand, shimmying them off my hip and letting them drop around my ankles. Tweek looks down at me in only my jockstrap with large pupils. I move to take it off too but he stops me. "Keep it on." I raise an eyebrow at the blonde but I do as he says.

With Tweek's legs draped around my waist I can tell he's getting hard. While he abuses my neck, my hand finds his chest. I brush my thumb against his nipple until it's stiff and then I roll it between my fingers. Tweek gasps against me, reverting back to sucking lightly. I push Tweek back against the lockers on his back. He watches me drag my tongue down his chest until I reach his nipple again. I flick my tongue over it.

Tweek squirms and I smirk. _I win here too, don't I_? I take it in my mouth to leave a hickey because he left one on me and I know my mom's gonna make a big deal and I know Clyde and Kenny are gonna harass me and I also know that's fucking why he did it. Have fun not being able to take your shirt off in front of anyone, asshole. I play with his chest with my hand and my mouth until I can feel Tweek's member pressed against me.

I drag two fingers up his length and back down. Tweek switches to biting his knuckles while arching into my touch and my mouth which is still wrapped around his nipple. "Ah," he breathes. "Craig..." I graze him with my teeth. " _Fuck_." Tweek's head drops back against the lockers so I kiss along the underside of his jaw. I leave my hickeys where no one would see them. Not because I specifically don't want anyone to see them. I just don't want to inconvenience Tweek. Because I'm a gentleman. Tweek and I aren't hiding anything… If someone asked if we were together; well, no, because we aren't together or dating. If someone asked if we're sleeping together; uh, no, because we haven't slept together, we just mess around. But, if someone asked if we occasionally fuck around in the locker room after boxing then I'd be like, 'yeah, we do and it's fucking awesome,' but no one asks that.

Tweek grabs me by my hair, pulling my face up to his. Tweek sits up, kissing me and tightening his legs around me as we reposition. I grab his thighs and pull him closer on the lockers. We kiss and Tweek's nails glides down my side and around my back. He cups my ass cheek and squeezes roughly. I groan again as he pulls away to fondle my strap, teasing me. He pulls it back and lets it snap. It hits my skin but it doesn't sting. Until the second time he does it. After which he pulls the garment low enough to reveal only one quarters of my throbbing manhood.

He strokes the tip of my erection in rhythm with how fast I stroke him. His other hand travels back up my back to dig his nails into me. I tense up. I'm not gonna last long but from the looks of it I'll last longer than Tweek. He breaks the kiss to suck on my neck, muffling his whines. I speed up and he does too but I don't think he's thinking properly. I don't think he's thinking at all.

Tweek suddenly presses his thumb in the slit in the head of my dick. My back arches involuntarily and our chests bump. "Shit," I say, dropping my head on his shoulder.

Two minutes later Tweek lets out a loud breath and comes in my hand. "Bitch," I swear since he came all over our chests. Tweek ignores me, pulling my jockstrap lower, exposing more of me. He strokes me faster, dragging his nails down my abs and kissing my neck.

"Fuck, I'm close," I tell him. Tweek runs his fingers through my hair until I come. I only come in his hand. Tweek came all over both of our chests and my jockstrap _and_ the floor. I liked this jockstrap. "Jesus Christ, thanks for the warning."

"Fuck you," Tweek says. "You sprained my nose."

"You can't sprain your nose," I retort. "Dumbass."

"Well, it fucking hurts, asshole!" Tweek, with his hand still in my hair, yanks my head back so I stumble before he hops off the lockers and heads for the shower. I narrow my eyes at his back as he walks away and grab a towel for me and him.

For some reason, Tweek takes cold showers. I asked him once and he gave me a bunch of bullshit statistics about the health benefits and shit. I think it's stupid and all it manages to do is keep me out of his shower… and maybe that's the point.

We shower in silence. I glance over to Tweek every now and then and he pretends I don't exist at all. When he's done he takes the towel I brought him and leaves. He does not thank me. Okay, whatever…

"Thanks a lot, asshole," Tweek says. "Now, I'm gonna be late." He pulls a sweatshirt over his head.

"You're welcome," I say.

"One of these days someone's gonna walk in on us," he tells me.

I laugh loudly, "It's almost ten. Who's coming to the gym at ten in South Park?"

"Fine. Don't take me seriously. I don't care."

"Neither do I," I say.

"Well, I don't care more."

"I definitely care less than you do."

"Fuck you, I'll tell everyone I know tonight."

"I'll tell everyone I know _right now_."

He scoffs. Tweek dresses, stuffs his clothes in his bag and tosses it over his shoulder.

"Want a ride?" I'm not even sure why I offer. Tweek waves me off the way he does every time I offer him a ride after practice. "I'll see you tomorrow," I call after him.

"Yep," Tweek replies before leaving. I blink after him and then pack my stuff. I grab my jockstrap off the floor and grimace. I take it along with my workout clothes to washer in the locker room and throw it in, turning it on. I'd rather avoid my mom find it…

I lock the gym up and start the drive home. Tweek and I have been at this for maybe three years. It started with just kissing and we were both freshmen. I don't even know what happened. I must've kissed him… I must have. Tweek wouldn't have kissed me. What were we even talking about? We'd kiss occasionally, and then we started to make out, and then it was heavy make outs; always after boxing or in the gym. One day when we were making out one thing lead to another and then I had a boner. I was freaking out because we had only been kissing and stuff and that's how I justified me not being gay because we were only kissing. And Tweek knew. I knew he knew. He had to have known, I mean, I had a fucking boner. I thought he'd be all grossed out and call me a faggot or something from a movie but instead it was more like curiosity. He asked me if I was hard and I said yes, I was. Tweek was more focused on the fact that he made me hard than focusing on the fact that I was hard and embarrassed. And then he asked if he could see it. I was like, 'what the fuck, Tweek. Why? Why would you want to see it?' Tweek said something that I can't even remember but it got my pants down so. Then the question was if he could touch it. You can probably put the pieces together.

We never talk about the serious stuff that I know probably occupies both of our minds; sexuality, religion, and even just what the fuck we're doing. Tweek and I really don't talk about much of anything, just boxing and school. I've known him for three years but I barely know him… but Tweek doesn't act like he wants to talk about stuff or maybe just to me. I don't even know if I care. Honestly, I don't like to think about it. All I know is we both like what we do so we try not to fuck it up.

I pull into our driveway and turn the car off. Sometimes though, if I must admit… I do wonder about... actually doing it with Tweek but, I honestly can't think about it. My face turns red, even though I'm just alone in my truck. But, I haven't done it with a girl either. That is to say, I am a virgin. I know. Shut up. I also wonder what it would mean to add some labels… if you catch my drift. Part of Tweek's appeal to me though, is the mystery of him. We've lived in the same town all our lives, even played as kids. I know him but I don't.

I walk up to my house in the snow. The front door is unlocked already and I pull it open. "I'm home!" I call.

My mom peaks from the kitchen and her eyes go wide. Oh yeah. Shit. She gasps and rushes over to me. Ruby walks down the stairs as our mother grabs my face and tilts my head back. "Craig Andrew Tucker," she says. "I thought you said you were boxing with Tweek!"

"I was," I say.

Ruby looks over our mom's shoulder and she busts out laughing. "Boxing my ass!"

"Ruby!" Mom scolds.

"Sorry," Ruby snickers into the kitchen.

"I just wish you'd tell us who you're seeing all the time," my mom says sadly, letting my face go.

I roll my eyes. "It's really not that serious, mom…"

"If it wasn't then why won't you tell me, Craig?"

I sigh, "I still have homework to do."

My mom sighs in response and shakes her head. "Dinner's in the kitchen if you're hungry." I nod.

My dad walks out next. He sees me, sees my neck, and nods slowly. "Boxing practice went well, I guess." I flick him off. "You know, Craig, I've actually been meaning to talk to you."

"Dad, c'mon, I already told mom. It's not serious and I'm not telling you who."

"That's fine," he says. "I mean, I wish you would but I know you won't. I just wanna make sure you're safe."

Oh, God, no.

"I know this is kind of late, I figured nowadays with the internet there's not much I could tell you that you don't already know and you could literally get condoms anywhere for any price but, here," he heads back into his office for a minute and returns with three little square packets. "Uh, I assume you know how to use them… I just wanted to let you know that if you have any questions, you came from my balls so there's nothing you can really say that'd make me judge you. I was a teenage boy myself once." He laughs. I eye the packets in his hand with horror. This isn't happening right now. I just had a wet dream with Tweek that turned into a nightmare. "C'mon then," he shoves them into my chest and I take them from him hesitantly. "Do you have any questions?" This is hard not to laugh about. The fucked up thing is that I have tons of fucking questions, but none of which, I could ask my dad without basically screaming, ' _Hey, I'm bicurious and I think I wanna get it on with a boy_!' I'm not sure if my parents would even care but I'm just not comfortable with it. Plus, there is the internet if I'm really curious. It just sucks to feel uncomfortable about something like this. I wish I didn't but somehow I know that even if they say it's fine and they still love me, things are gonna change and opinions are gonna change and then they'll be wondering if I'm with Clyde or Kenny or Toke just because they're my close friends, you know? I can't deal with it right now. It's not even a thing to deal with anyways.

"No, dad, but thanks…"

He slaps me on the shoulder. "That's my boy."

* * *

 _Hey remember that new story everyone probably forgot about? Anyways, here it is. It's in no way shape or form even remotely close to being done. I just wanted to put this up like a demo? So review if you like it and junk while I try to formulate my thoughts._

 _Dont forget to follow for updates._


	2. Chapter 2

"You're smoking again."

"Yes."

"I thought you quit."

I sigh heavily before turning to Token with a glare. "It's been a rough day." Token and I drive to school so we get here earlier than Clyde and Kenny. Right now though, we're not at school, otherwise I couldn't be smoking. I told him I needed to before hell began and we walked off.

"Rough day?" Token laughs, "It's seven in the morning. School hasn't even started yet."

"Yeah, I know," I tell him. "That's the point."

"Well, what happened?"

I groan. "It's my parents! Actually," I say. "No- Well, yeah. I couldn't get to sleep last night so eventually, I just said fuck it and I started watching Red Racer. When my parents woke up and saw me on the couch, they _lost their minds_. They accuse me of being high and shit. My mom was yelling at me about my hickys and that this 'girl'," I use to fingers to quote, "Is affecting my grades. Then, somehow, my dad and I got into it about college." I toss my bud and grind it into the pavement with my heel.

"You know, just one of those huge arguments about nothing. And I've had a migraine since last night." Though, it is slightly going away finally.

"That sucks," Token says.

"And when Kenny and Clyde see this shit they're gonna have a field day."

"Yeah," he agrees. "They probably wouldn't tease you so much if you just told us who it was."

"First, they'd definitely tease me more if they knew who it was and why do you guys care so much," I ask. I always ask this when it comes up- _who's leaving the bruises on my neck_. It's come up enough. I don't have a solid argument. I'm still working on it. Tweek could make it a little easier for me, but he doesn't.

"Why are you so adamant on keeping it a secret?"

I scoff, "I'm not 'keeping it a secret,' Token. It's just none of your business. It's nothing serious anyways so why does it matter?"

"We have flings all the time and we tell each other about them. I don't know," Token admits. "But, when everyone else is bragging about something and then you're the complete opposite. It's just weird. Like, why's it such a secret?"

"It's _not_ ," I repeat.

"Then who is it?"

"None of your fucking business."

"We wouldn't care, Craig," he says, "If they're like in a relationship or something. Or if it's someone we've been with. _I_ don't care, at least."

Without thinking I mutter, "I'm no homewrecker." It was a joke but it wasn't very funny, especially since it knocks that argument off the board, if I ever decided to lie.

"Okay, then what _are_ you hiding?" Token asks.

"Jesus Christ, what does it matter?"

"She seems to want us to know her, since she's leaving all these hickys. Last week it looked like she tried to make a heart and this week it's an actual trail from your neck to your ear."

"What?" I yank my phone from my pocket and check my reflection. "Son of a-"

Token laughs, "You didn't notice?"

What I don't want to do is call Tweek a she and if I say he then the cats out of the bag and I might as well tell them it's Tweek. I don't really want to talk about this anymore but I also don't want to tip Token off that this isn't just me hiding a relationship with some girl. There's something really uncomfortable about thinking if people knew because they shouldn't. Unless I tell them obviously.

Token shrugs. We start walking back toward the campus.

"Is it Bebe?" I laugh, "Wendy?"

"Absolutely not."

"Red."

"No."

Token sighs heavily, "Are you lying? Who else could it be? He asks. "-And why are you hiding it?"

"Token, listen, it's not anyone you know, okay? Trust me. I'll tell you eventually," I promise which is probably not very true. I just want him to agree to leave me alone.

He's quiet for a while but then says, "Have you applied to college yet?"

"Mm," I hum. "You know how that is."

"So, you're really not going?"

"I never said that," I say. "Some schools take applications in February."

"Art schools mostly. Unless you're going for photography."

"What am I gonna do with four years of photography school?"

"Make money as a photographer."

"Don't make it sound so simple, Toke. I might start to believe you."

"Whatever," he says. "I'm young and optimistic."

"Since when?" I chuckle.

Token laughs at this and says, "Yeah, well, maybe you should do a little more research before it's too late."

"College happens too fast anyways. I can go next year if I even want to go."

Token agrees and then says how much it will suck when everyone goes their separate ways which makes me cringe and want to tell him to stop talking without him knowing it makes me uncomfortable ( talking about everyone 'going their separate ways') but instead the bell rings in the distance and I'm thankful.

Even Clyde is leaving the State. He's going to Alabama or something stupid and he doesn't even know why. I swear he just absorbs his parent's opinions. He doesn't know what he wants he just knows what he knows. I try to act completely indifferent about it because I know that would hurt Clyde the most. He d0es the same and I can't tell if it's for the same reason. I don't think Clyde's smart enough for that.

Token and I start heading to class. I count my blessings and prepare for what's to come.

"At least it's early day."

"I wish high school were over already."

"Dude, five more months."

We get to class before most people because we were standing right outside. I felt lucky. I thought I'd be really lucky if one of the miscreants didn't come to school at all.

But I'm not that lucky.

"Wassup!" Kenny grins at Token and me. Clyde comes in right behind him. Kenny's eyes drop to my neck and he gasps.

"What?" Clyde asks.

"Craig Andrew Tucker," Kenny exclaims, dramatically. "Your neck!" He grabs my face just as my mother had and I wonder if maybe Kenny's gone through the same with his mother and that's why he was able to quote my mother verbatim because otherwise, he stalks me. I would not be the least bit surprised but Kenny's just weird like that.

He tilts my face upward and he and Clyde examine the damage. They both start laughing loudly the more they see. "It's just so funny because you won't tell anyone who it is and they must know that so they're doing this shit on purpose just to fuck with you!" Clyde cackles.

Clyde sits down in front of me and Kenny sits next to him across from me with Token sitting behind me.

"What if he's giving them to himself?" Kenny laughs. Clyde laughs too and asks the blonde how I'd do that. "Like- like, with one of those vacuum. The ones for ziplock bags! One time my sister out it on her forehead and she had a mark on her head for weeks!" They laugh.

"I doubt it," Clyde says. "Looks pretty real and I don't doubt someone wanting to suck on Craig's neck. You head what the girls say about him."

"Yeah, but do you ever see Craig talking to girls?" Kenny says.

"We can't all be whores," I say. Clyde 'ooh's' and Token laughs.

"Yeah, but you don't _ever_ talk to girls."

I roll my eyes.

"Maybe Craig likes older women," Clyde gasps. "And he can't tell us because he's seventeen and she's like twenty!"

Now Kenny gasps, "Is it a teacher!" Everyone in the class looks at us. I cover my face with my hand. "Sorry," Kenny says.

"It's not a fucking teacher, you fucking morons. Now, can you please shut the fuck up about this? I have a headache."

They simply boo me and continue to make kissy faces and noises in my face. I try to ignore them at first, looking out the window and the classroom door that's still propped open for late kids.

But then I see Tweek walk by and he notices me almost immediately. It was scary how we made eye contact. It was also scary how his presence seemed to tune out Clyde and Kenny's idiocy. Tweek has a bandage over his nose which makes the corner of my mouth twitch.

Tweek sees Kenny and Clyde and starts to laugh, also making smoochie faces and sticking his tongue out at me before continuing on. It makes my stomach drop which is scary.

I don't know why he's not in class or where he's going. I don't even know what class he's in or if he even has a class this period. And I don't know why I care, which is scary.

I mush Clyde's face away hard enough for him to not try to get that close again and thankfully, the teacher starts his lesson so Kenny and Clyde finally shut up.

* * *

The first time Tweek and I boxed, he knocked me out. For the first few months after that I always wondered if he did it on purpose. I thought of so many theories: he hadn't done it on purpose and because he never boxed with anyone before he didn't know his own strength, but it's pretty common sense that if you hit someone in the face hard enough they will pass out, but maybe it was an accident, maybe he was nervous, maybe he missed. I'm not sure why it was so important to me to know.

I never knocked Tweek out but the first time I ever beat him was late in middle school or early high school. We'd already been boxing for two years maybe it was close to the time we started messing around. I don't actually remember which came first. No- I do, because the day I beat him was the day I finally saved up enough for my truck and I had this crazy ass wet dream with Tweek in the bed of it. Arguably one of the best dreams I've ever had. So it was after everything happened.

I remember thinking Tweek hated me. He was always so mean looking and he never said anything. He showed up, punched me in the face, we took our showers (a little too close), and then we went home. Maybe that's why it made me so mad. I remember thinking it wasn't fair for me to be mad because Tweek treated me how I treated everyone else. Maybe _that's_ why it made me so mad. Gradually we began speaking. It was never anything different. It was school, assignments, teachers, and boxing or coach. It was never our parents, our struggles, our problems, or even our dreams.

I like thinking that we're both just really fucking boring because that's the life I wish I had.

* * *

 _So I'm just gonna post this like this because I think for this story I'm gonna have shorter chapters so I can post more... posting more is good right(?)_

 _Did you know it's against the ff rules to have authors notes hahaha. ( I read that somewhere I think)_

 _And if you like this story and you're feelin it and wanna leave a review that'd be cool too, I like to know what yall are thinking or whatever and this story is really hard for me to write for some reason and it's only chapter two like, whats up with that?_

 _Idk, I'm struggling_

 _Merry Christmas. I won't be posting for a while. xx_


	3. Chapter 3

" _Did you do the homework?"_

" _No."_

 _Always so reticent, Tweek hardly ever answers with more than three words. I wonder if he even generally likes me. I like to believe he's just quiet but it wouldn't be hard to believe if he did because what we do together is fight and it would give him the perfect opportunity to punch me in the face. Which he does. And then he comes into the locker room with this unbearable attitude and demeanor, gets naked in front of me, takes a shower, and treats me like shit on his way out. It makes my fingertips tingle in a funny way._

 _I've never been a position where someone had this leverage over me. He treats me how I treat other people but it's not that. When he does it, it makes me act like someone I don't even know; someone who sits there and takes it. Even though it should disgust me, it's attracts me._

 _We walk to our lockers, not exactly next to each other but just a few lockers down. Tweek immediately throws his drenched shirt over his head. He's been getting really toned lately. I look away quickly so he doesn't catch me. He's caught me twice and it was enough to scare the absolute piss out of me. I ultimately knew he wouldn't instantly jump to the conclusion that I find him incredibly alluring in ways that made me actually question my sexuality a few times but had it continued to happen, it would become obvious, I felt. I've gotten better at doing it without him noticing. Short, but I take in all I can. The way his muscles contract when his lifts his arms over his head. His back muscles particularly are my favorite, if I had to pick. He looks great in just boxer-briefs. I haven't seen anything past that and thinking about it makes my stomach churn._

 _Tweek kicks his shorts off and grabs his towel before heading to the showers. I watch after him the whole way. I should follow him but it's been getting harder to be okay. I don't feel right and I also feel like there's nothing I can do to get better. I certainly can't do what I want to do._

 _But, I already know that it'll pass because that's what always happens with these things. Like when I got really depressed in middle school. I thought I was gonna kill myself or something but I'm fine now. Or like when I was so moody my parents almost took me to a psychiatrist because they thought I was bipolar. And then it was like nothing ever happened._

 _I'm just having a thing because Tweek's my type (if we were comparing him to a girl: blonde hair, blue eyes) and we fight so there's tension. And he's mysterious and that makes me think about him a lot. And hopefully that's all it is._

 _There's no way I could be gay because if I were gay, I'd know it by now. I just haven't found the right one, but Tweek's definitely not it either._

* * *

Today I'm stuck picking up Kenny for school. He says he missed the bus but I know he's just hung over from a party he went to last night. Because he called me and told me all about the fun he had dancing and partying. It was two in the morning. I'm not really mad because that's just how Kenny is and he knows I'll pick him up because that's just how I am.

I guess what I can be mad about is that I have to leave earlier to pick him up so we're not late. And there's traffic.

I rest my elbow so that it lays party out the window. It's a nice cloudless and windy day. It's the type of day Clyde would call too chilly and that would annoy the hell out of me. The light turns green finally and the cars in front of me slowly accelerate which annoys the hell out of me. But honestly being a senior with only four and a half months left leaves me with little motivation to accomplish anything, let alone something as insignificant as getting to school on time and I'm sure Kenny thinks the same. I wouldn't be surprised if he just stayed home if I couldn't have picked him up.

Yesterday Tweek and I boxed and something happened. I can't stop thinking about it but I still don't know how I'm supposed to feel about it.

My car bumps when I ride over the train tracks but as soon as I cross them I speed the rest of the way to Kenny's place. Mostly because the roads are empty and it's fun, not because I want to be on time.

When I get to his house I tap the horn three times and wait, also sending him a text to get his broke ass out here.

Kenny runs out of his house in a dirty hoodie, sweatpants, and no book bag. When he gets in my car he reeks of weed and looks hung over.

I give him a look long enough for him to address it. "What?"

I shake my head and shift the car into reverse, looking over my shoulder as I back out of his driveway. "You're a fucking mess."

"Whatever, Craig. I'm only high to offset my hangover. Who actually cares anyways?" I shrug. He's got me there.

He pulls out his phone to check his messages. Somehow Kenny always has messages.

"How was last night?"

"Fine. I punched stuff and got punched."

He nods. After a moment of silence which I was enjoying but was apparently Kenny giving me time to ask about his night, which I didn't so he says, "Well, _I_ had a blast. I made out with Jenna Richards."

"Wow, sounds like a great time," I say. My voice holds no emotion which I didn't intend but I did expect.

"This is why I don't like talking to you, Craig."

"Why?" I ask only really partially paying attention to the blonde. We're about to pull in the school. The bells already rung but we still have roughly five minutes to get to class. I just don't want to deal with a detention I won't serve.

"You always sound so insincere," he says. "You can't say anything nice without sounding sarcastic."

I shrug again. Kenny and Clyde always have something to complain about.

Last night Tweek and I were boxing but something happened. My heart skips thinking about it and I hate myself for that. Before I can help it I'm picturing him beneath me again, hair sprawled around his face against the ring's floor, breathing heavily. I don't know how we got there.

"Craig!" I slam the breaks right before we crash into the car in front of us. "What the hell was that?!"

"Sorry, I zoned out."

"Jesus fucking Christ, Craig!"

"Sorry, I zoned out," I repeat.

"Are you okay, man?"

"I stopped," I say.

He laughs, "Fucking barely."

"I was thinking."

"About what?"

"Something."

"What?"

"What do you mean what?"

"What something?"

"Something that happened," I say. I pull into the school parking lot and park, ripping my seatbelt off and rushing out of the car. We're late.

Kenny follows behind me. "What happened? Last night?"

"No," I say. Then I realize I'm lying again and I hate myself for it. When Kenny doesn't say anything in response I glance over my shoulder at him and I can tell immediately that he knows I'm lying which is worse because now he's probably trying to figure out why I would lie. "Okay, yes but I really don't wanna talk about it, okay Kenny?" This will only add fuel to his curiosity but I can't think of anything better to say. I know if I don't say this he'd start asking if it's about my parents or Tweek and he'd know if I was lying. At least this way, the possibilities of what's wrong are broader.

"Okay," Kenny says but I can tell he's thinking about it and from that I'm gonna say in three months tops he'll probably have it figured out.

We walk together. I shove my hands in my pockets and try to remain unreadable. If Kenny did find out, I wonder what he'd think. What would he do? Maybe he already knows, shit.

We were just boxing and then we were on the ground pressed against one another. I couldn't tell if we were still fighting from how violent we both were. Tweek kneed me in the side, I bit his shoulder, he pulled my hair, we kissed. I pressed harder, he pulled harder, we kissed harder. I bruised his lip, he bruised my neck. I pressed harder. I wanted so much but at the same time I had no idea what I wanted. How did we end up like that? He dug his nails into me and I pressed harder. Clothes started disappearing without me even noticing. Why weren't we worried someone would see us? We were down to boxers. His were gradually riding lower and lower. It was the strangest thing, I felt like I wanted them off but I _needed_ them to stay on.

"Come to my locker with me," Kenny says.

I glance at him, "Were already late."

"Exactly, so it shouldn't matter how late."

I shake my head but follow him past the turn we needed to take to get to class. "What do you need from your locker?" Kenny ignores me and I don't care enough to ask again. I trail him as if we got to school an hour early, rather than close to ten minutes late. But, whatever.

Kenny rambles about girls all the way down the hallway until we're at his locker. "Are you listening?"

"Yes." Lying.

He pulls open his locker and pulls his backpack out. I wonder if he does that every day. Kenny pulls note books out of his bag and replaces them from others from his locker. "Oh," he says. I look up.

At the end of the hall Tweek is just passing around the corner into the empty hallway; empty other than us.

My face flushes and I hate myself for that. I can't help it, seeing him scared me and I hate myself for that too. I don't know what to do. He doesn't see us yet but what about when he does? Do I say hi? What if he doesn't say hi back? We never say hi to each other so why am I making this such a big deal? It's just last night...

Tweek finally sees us and we stare at each other. He looks away and my stomach drops. Tweek walks past us.

Kenny watches him and then shuts his locker. "Don't you two box?"

"Yeah."

His brows furrow in confusion. "Then why didn't you say hi?" I shrug. "Did you do that to his nose?" I nod. He laughs. "Alright, let's go."

I had to stop. I needed to stop. I wanted to keep going but I _needed_ to stop. And when I pulled away from Tweek he didn't even say anything. His eyes fluttered open to look at me to figure out what I was doing. We never know what we're doing until we do it. I waited because I wanted him to say something but he never did. I knew he wouldn't. "Can we stop here." It wasn't a question. Well, it was but it didn't sound like one. It sounded small and weird and I knew he thought so too. He watched me for a while continuing his silence. I couldn't tell if he was mad or not but I hated the way his eyes scanned my face because what was he looking for? And why didn't he ask why?

Tweek said, "Yeah, sure." But he had to have been angry, right? He never makes a deal out of anything.

I didn't know what to do from there. Anything would've been awkward or wrong so I just picked myself up as Tweek did and we got dressed. Tweek went through the whole process, walking towards the locker room to shower probably and as much as I needed one, I just left. And now that I'm thinking about it, I forgot to lock up.


	4. Chapter 4

Although I don't hate work, it's not my favorite place to be. Since I'm still in high school I can only get part-time jobs and that usually means customer service of some degree.

I'm not much of a people person.

My manager gets a lot of complaints, mostly because I just don't naturally smile or say _my pleasure_. But luckily my manager isn't a prick. She knows I'm a good worker just my face and mouth don't work.

Another unfortunate aspect of my work is that I work with that Marsh kid. It's bad enough that I have to go to school with him and have assholes tell me how much he looks like me. He and his asshole friends disgust me. They're toxic and everybody knows it. Even Kenny knew he had to get the hell out of there. Don't ask me how he found refuge with us. It probably had something to do with Clyde but honestly Kenny hangs out with everyone already, he just started to hang out with us more.

At least I don't work in the food industry because that would be a disaster. I can barely handle simply checking people out. If I had to have people tell me what they want but don't want on it or what they want to add or they can't eat salt because they have some dumb diet or health- it's just too much. I didn't want a job in the first place. High school is enough by itself. But I needed a job to get a car and I had to keep it to pay for gas, plus the extra cash isn't bad. Still, it's one of those things that makes me feel like I'm doing stuff I think I need to do because everyone else is.

I don't think I'm going to box with Tweek today but I feel like I need to go just because of what happened yesterday. If I don't show up today he'll think I'm avoiding him or something. Would Tweek even care if I avoided him? I wanna say I doubt it but I know he wouldn't. Tweek probably (somehow) cares about less things than I do and I don't even know what it would be. Boxing, I guess. He seems to really like boxing but I'm only assuming because he goes every day, not because he looks like he's having fun because he almost always just looks indifferent, tired sometimes, and angry other times. But never really happy.

"What's up," Stan walks around the counter. He's always late but once again, our manager isn't a prick. Sometimes I wish she were. I unintentionally narrow my eyes at the dark haired boy. He says, "Did you see the game last night? Great comeback. Cartman has a wicked throw, have you seen it?" Stan chuckles, oblivious to my glare.

"Shut the fuck up, Marsh."

He turns to look at me finally and furrows his brows, displeased. "Oh jeez, you're in a mood." He turns back to the register. "Fine," he says as a customer approaches him. "Hi, will that be all?"

I glare at his back some more before deciding I should just take out the trash and stock the shelfs to avoid fighting Stan. I know he hasn't done anything really but his presence just pisses me off. The way he says things, the way his pinches his nose like he's somebody's dad, and especially when he talks about sports. He just sounds like a douchebag.

So I stock and debate going later or not going later and I'm split down the middle. Because I know if I don't, Tweek (even if he doesn't care) will think it has something to do with me being a little bitch yesterday but if I don't then I can go home with Token, Clyde, and Kenny and I haven't done that in a while and it would be refreshing, I think.

Then I realize, going to box tonight would most likely lead to Tweek and I on top of one another, apparently whether I want it to or not. And then I realize that might be the reason I'm so opposed going. But I don't know why that would make me not wanna go, sometimes that's the only reason I go. There's too much happening in my head right now for me to think.

I stock as much as I can onto the shelf just so I can be over here longer but at some point it's gonna become obvious what I'm doing so I take the trash out back. Not many people come in today and those who do, prefer Stan (I'm so underwhelmingly surprised by this).

And at some point maybe half an hour before my shift ends, I sigh particularly loud. Stan turns to me but I ignore him, hoping this will stop him from saying whatever he's gonna say. It doesn't.

"What's up with you today? You're acting like a bitch."

My eyes drag over to him, "We aren't friends, Stan."

"Far from it," he adds. "I don't have to be your friend to ask you what's wrong. I mean you've been dragging your feet and sighing all day. It's really annoying." I flip him off. He rolls his eyes. "Seriously," he says.

"Tests. I'm stressed."

He mouth slants, "It doesn't sound like it's just tests."

"What?" Stan just called me out on a lie. Stan fucking Marsh. What do I look like right now? I didn't say it weird or make a face. So how the fuck did he know?

"Yeah," Stan says. "You look more like you're thinking about one you like but can't tell anyone about."

I stare at Stan deadpan. I don't speak because none of this makes sense and I'm trying to evaluate whether or not this is real. Because if it were, how the fuck would Marsh know that much? But then, maybe he doesn't. So I just repeat, "What."

Stan laughs, "I'm just fucking with you. Kenny told me." I suddenly feel stupid for giving Stan so much credit. "That's great though for you," he says. "I never thought you'd find someone who actually liked you so congratulations."

I want to punch Stan (I typically do) but I want to punch Kenny more. I guess it's nothing Stan couldn't have found out himself. Still, having someone I barely speak to come up to me with that information has me shaken. It just seems like more and more people are finding out more and more about more and more and that isn't sitting well. It's giving me anxiety. I've never felt so much anxiety. At least not since... before, when I wanted to kiss Tweek. Things sucked back then. I briefly have a thought that things suck right now too but they're better. I think.

"Dude, I'm just kidding, no need to go all emo."

"Fuck you, Stan. Stop talking to me."

"What the fuck. Why do you hate me so much?"

"Why do you want me to not hate you so much?" I counter, lazily.

Stan stutters and then decides, "Fine, asshole, like I care. I hope she dumps your lame ass."

I flick Stan off even though I hardly heard what he said but I'm glad he's laying off. Whether or not everyone around me is joking about caring who my secret lover is, it's making me feel so shitty. I wish they'd stop bringing it up at all. I know they do it because I won't tell them but I can't.

I can't.

And that's as far as I let my mind get. This is making me... I don't know. Am I upset? I guess I'm troubled. But not necessarily unhappy. The next and last thing I say to Stan is that I'm clocking out soon and that I'll see him around. I head over to Token's after work because the whole time I knew I wasn't going to box with Tweek.

I realize it's been a while since I've walked into Token's house unannounced or at all really. I talk to his dad in the kitchen for a while. About the basic stuff, you know, school, grades, work, graduation. He asks me about college, I lie so he'll leave me alone. He asks me how my dad is doing but he knows my dad so we don't talk about that long. I make sure to say hello to Token's mother while passing her office but our exchange is brief.

When I finally reach Token's room Kenny and Clyde are sprawled out on the bed across each other and Token is sitting at his desk probably doing his homework or something equally as stupid. It's stupid because I still haven't done homework from last week.

"Told you," Kenny says. "You owe me ten bucks."

Clyde scoffs, "I knew it was Craig, bro. It was obvious. Who else would it fucking be?"

"Hey, Craig," Token greets.

I shut the door behind me and set down my bag. I flop down on top of Clyde, collectively crushing Kenny. He doesn't protest, simply grunts. "Hey."

"What? No boxing? Is a Tweek sick or something?" Clyde says glancing back at me.

"No," I shrug. "I didn't want to go."

Clyde gasps and Kenny laughs, shaking all of us. "You didn't want to box? Are you sick?"

"Wow," I deadpan. "I came here to hang out with my friends- well," I pause, "-alleged friends. And instead of being happy to see me they think something's wrong with me for wanting to hang out with them."

"Please," Token says. I chuckle.

"Seriously," I say. "I just didn't feel like going. I always go. I deserve a break," I reason. I'm lying again. And it doesn't feel good. And I'm good at it too, not even Kenny catches it (if he did, he doesn't say anything) and that feels worse.

"It's been a while since we all hung out," Clyde says.

"You guys are crushing me," Kenny says.

"Yeah, I know," I say. "I didn't realize until I saw Toke's parents. I haven't seen them in like a month."

"Are you staying the night?"

"Yeah," I say.

"Gettin' harder to breathe down here."

"How was work?" Toke asks.

"Lame," I roll my eyes. "Marsh pisses me off."

"Why? What'd he do?" Clyde says.

"He came to work today."

Clyde snorts. Kenny says, "Hey, assholes!"

"I don't know. I think Stan's alright." Clyde says.

"And Kenny, if you keep running your mouth about my life to that idiot, I'm gonna punch you into a wall."

"What did I tell him?" Kenny says. "And get the fuck off me."

"You fucking told him about-" my heart skips. "About... "

"About..." Kenny echoes.

"About..." Clyde drags out.

"My hickeys," I say simply.

"Mm," Kenny hums. "Did something almost slip there, buddy?"

"Shut up, Kenny. Just don't talk about me to anyone else at all."

"Fine, he says. I won't if you get the fuck off of me," I roll so I'm only on top of his legs. "Clyde," he says.

"Yes," Clyde replies.

"Move, thanks."

"Hm, no thanks," Clyde replies. Kenny grabs Clyde and they start wrestling. They also start laughing. Kenny kicks me. I know it was an accident but I still grab his ankle and drag him across the bed. Clyde and I double team him until I'm holding him down and Clyde's giving him an Indian burn. He's laughing too hard to fight us.

We play video games for a while before changing the TV to cable and hanging out on our phones. We talk a lot. More than we have in ages. It feels good to hear Kenny rave about the girls in our grade and Clyde about how everyone on the team thinks he's the worst and Token rants about his parents and school. I don't talk much. I try to. I talk about stupid stuff. Boring stuff. Fillers? What am I filling in for?

We eat dinner with Token's parents and that's nice. His parents are my favorite parents in South Park. No offense to my own. They're cool too. But his parents are the kind of parents I wish I had. They're just so... normal and rational, I don't know.

That night after everyone falls asleep I'm still awake. I can't stop thinking about Tweek alone in the gym. He probably worked out for a while. Then, he must've hit with the bag because I never showed up. I wonder if he waited for me, even subconsciously. Even for a minute. Why _wouldn't_ he expect me to come? Why would he care if I didn't?

Sleep evades me.

* * *

 _"You sucked today," Tweek says, chugging from his water bottle. When he's done he drags the back of his forearm across his mouth. "Were you even trying?"_

 _Yes. But I don't say anything._

 _"You weren't even remotely focused." I grab my water but I just stare at it. "I hit you in the face at least five times, Craig." He says this like it's bad but I think he's actually bragging which makes my stomach do that stupid thing that gives me anxiety. It's been doing that a lot lately. "Sometimes you weren't even looking."_

 _I sit on the bench. Tweek just watches me. "Are you sick?"_

 _I wish I were just sick._

 _"C'mon, man, I was joking. You're not that bad."_

 _Why won't he shut up?_

 _"If you're gonna throw up, do it in the trash can."_

 _Why can't I say anything? I do feel sick._

 _Tweek says something else but I don't hear him. I stand up again. "I'm fine," I tell him._

 _"You're being weird," he says, holding his water close to himself. He looks at me like I could be hiding a bomb._

 _"I... feel weird," I admit._

 _I already knew Tweek wouldn't respond to this because it's something that he'd have nothing to say about. He's not gonna ask me why or what I mean because he doesn't care and he doesn't care to pretend either._

 _"Okay," he says instead and grabs his duffel bag from the bench. I can tell Tweek doesn't want to just walk away until he knows I'll be behind him but I don't know why. I follow him slowly and I don't let myself look at him._

 _I don't feel good today._

 _We go to our lockers and undress and I would try to take my time as to put distance between us but Tweek's pace changed with mine. So we walk to the shower together. We're both still in boxers. Usually Tweek walks in his boxers and I change to my towel once he's turned around._

 _We get in. Tweek takes his boxers off. I try to preoccupy myself by turning the shower on and dousing my head with shampoo. It's so much that the suds spill over onto my face and into my eyes. I take a small deep breath._

 _I have bruises on my chest from his fists and probably on my face too. It's like I wasn't even there. They sting. It's hard to look at him when we practice lately. I just can't take his eyes. I look away and I get hit._

 _Once I've rinsed my eyes under the water enough I open them. I glance to Tweek just as I told myself not to and immediately notice the knob on his shower is set in the blue. It's not even half way, it's just blue. When I look at Tweek again, he's looking at me. I pretend to not be surprised and in three seconds my brain realizes I need to say something that would indirectly explain why I was looking at him. "Why is you're shower on_ cold _?"_

 _He makes a face at me. "Fix your fucking tone, and it's none of your fucking business what my preferences are."_

 _I clench my jaw an turn back to the wall. Tweek can be such an ass wipe. We shower silently for a minute. Then, so suddenly that it startled me, Tweek says, "I like them and they're good for you."_

 _I snort._

 _Tweek glares at me. "They are," he says. "They're good for your skin, immune system, metabolism, and relieves stress. They help sore muscles and shit too."_

 _I almost laugh and Tweek glares harder. "What?" He says._

 _"That's bullshit," I chuckle. "But it's-" I abruptly stop but then quickly say, "funny you think that." I breathe quietly. My head kinda hurts. I almost called him cute. Why am I trying to flirt? Why do I feel like he might be flirting with me? It's not what he says, it's how he says it and those fucking eyes._

 _Tweek's arm shoots over the wall between us and yanks my shower to cold. "Motherfucker," I swear as cold water hits my body. "Fuck, Tweek," I try to pull it back to warm but he doesn't let go and Tweek's stronger than I am. The longer we both struggle the more flustered I get about the fact that we're both naked and our hands are touching._

 _But Tweek is just laughing and laughing. He has to hold the wall to keep himself up. His laugh is so loud it echoes in the small tiled room. It makes my stomach give me anxiety again and now I feel like I'm suffocating. I let go and just let the water change to ice cold._

 _"It is kind of refreshing," I confess once Tweek's settled down a bit. He laughs a little more and tells me he hates me with a smile still on his face. I stare at him too long and he catches me._

 _"What?" He says. I shake my head and grab my towel._

 _Together we dry off and together we get dressed. I don't dare look at Tweek while he's changes into his clothes and I can't tell if it's for me or him._

 _It's the weirdest thing though because Tweek is never usually this nice. Most of the time he doesn't really say anything but today was different. He was different. Was he trying to make me feel better? My stomach gives me anxiety._

 _Before Tweek leaves he says goodbye and that's something he's never done before. I asked him if he wanted a ride and he said he was fine and I thought that was good because I actually didn't want to give him a ride this time. The more I want to be around Tweek, the less I wanna be around him. Does that make any sense?_

 _This would be so much easier if he were a girl._


	5. Chapter 5

The lights in the gym are already on. It's not uncommon for Tweek to get here earlier than me but it still makes my heart beat a little harder.

I take too long to collect my things and head inside because I'm stalling. I hate how he makes me feel like a pussy. Tweek's already working out so I hurry and change and when I come back out He's wrapping his fists. "Hey," I say, setting my bag on the bench.

"Hey," he says, without looking up. It's good because I know if he did, I'd have shit myself. But it also reminds me we're about to be looking at each other a lot. I already knew he wouldn't say anything about yesterday. Still, for some reason I don't know if that makes me relieved. I also don't know why it wouldn't.

From the bat, I get punched dead in the face. And if you thought I could only go up from there, you would be wrong. No matter how hard I try, I can't get him. I can't focus and he keeps hitting me. He hits me in the side in the stomach in the face. I barely feel it but I know I will later. I just try my best to dodge but honestly, I'm never this bad and it's _pretty bad_.

I don't think Tweek's mad today because he isn't taking advantage of an opportunity to beat me up. I actually think he's getting mad because I'm doing so bad. Every time he hits me he sighs like he's annoyed with my incompetence. I wonder what he's thinking.

That being said, we didn't box very long. After a particularly painful shot to my face, Tweek calls it. I'm doubled over with my hand pressed hard to the forming bruise.

He wipes the sweat from his brow and says, "Alright, I'm done."

In my head, I laugh because I hear _I'm done punching your face in_. But I don't laugh. We walk out of the ring even though it feels like we just walked on- well, Tweek walks off. I stumble between the ropes. And even though it feels like we've just walked on, a whole hour has passed- well, a solid fifty minutes. We grab our stuff and head to the locker room. I feel like a ghost. I feel like I'm on autopilot or something. I just don't know what to say, and so if I did say anything it'd be obvious I was just trying to talk. But maybe, that's what I'm always doing...

When Tweek finally does say something it startles me. I don't even catch his words which I instantly regret once I stupidly say, "What?"

Tweek says, "I asked if you were sick. Since you didn't come yesterday and you didn't really try today."

My face crinkles up because I did try today. And why do I feel like he said that just to piss me off? But I say, "Yeah, a little."

Tweek hums. I'm worried he doesn't believe me because that sounded like a I can't tell you're lying hum. But Tweek wouldn't say anything if he thought I was lying or not. Why am I even trying? I didn't come yesterday because I felt weird about Wednesday. I felt weird about bailing on him while we both had boner because my feelings. I didn't come in fear that he'd bring it up and we'd have to talk about it and then maybe for the first time ever it'd be awkward. I didn't come because I was scared it would happen again or maybe something even worse would happen.

When Tweek says something else it startles me further not because of what he says but because he's saying anything at all. "Your cheek looks bad."

Upon mention, I reach for my face. If I concentrate I can feel the bruise throb. I don't try to do this. "Yeah, well, thanks a lot." He says it like it's a bad thing, but I feel like he's bragging. He's just happy he got revenge for his nose. I frown.

Tweek laughs. He says, "You can't be mad, because I wasn't mad!"

"Whatever," I grumble. "I'm not mad." I like when Tweek laughs because he doesn't do it often but it's less enjoyable somehow. Because I wish I didn't like it as much as I do.

"Oh yeah?" Tweek mocks. "You sound like a child."

"You hit me in the face on purpose."

"You left yourself wide open," he counters. He follows this with another laugh. Then he starts undressing.

I narrow my eyes at him but then turn back to my locker, undressing myself. When I glance at Tweek, he's looking at me. I've never caught him looking at me but he doesn't say anything so I don't say anything.

He pulls his shirt over his head, tossing it in his locker. Then he shoves his shorts off and kicks out of them. I try not to watch but I feel like he knows I am and _wants_ me to.

Tweek slips his fingers underneath the elastic of his boxers and I swallow hard. He drops them and I struggle to undress myself, pretending to not be extremely flustered. He's acting so weird.

He takes too long to go to the shower and I end up changing into my towel in front of him which, I guess isn't a big deal anymore. Still.

Tweek takes a warm shower. If I thought something was up with him before, I know it is now. And after he had turned the knob he glanced to me and then back very quickly. Did he not want me to see that he's taking a warm shower? Should I tell him, _it's okay, I don't care how cold your shower is_?

We get dressed, which was even weirder than getting undressed. I've never been so mesmerized by him. I wondered if he had always gotten dressed like that. Is that something I'd notice? It should be. And I knew he was doing it on purpose because of how blatantly obvious it was that I was staring.

But the strangest thing by far was when we were finally leaving. Since Tweek had been lagging all day he was still next to me when I asked, "Wanna ride?"

"Sure."

"Alright, see you t-" I stop. "Oh," I say. "Okay."

Tweek's never been in my truck. It's weird and I can smell him. It makes my stomach flip. I've been trying really hard all night to not kiss him or anything but it almost feels like he's... trying to make me do just that.

But _why_. Why would he _do that_? It kinda makes me angry.

We ride in mostly silence. The only noise is the wind blowing through the open windows and the radio faintly playing in the background.

The only words we speak are about the weather and even though that sounds cringey, it was a nice exchange of words. Casual. Effortless. It makes me wish we hung out more at school. But thinking about Tweek hanging out with me and the guys is odd. I don't know what he'd do to our dynamic. But Kenny's with us now and it's fine.

We get to his house and he leaves without a goodbye which I'm thankful for. If he had turned to me and said goodbye and I saw his eyes, maybe I would have kissed him.

I don't know what would've happened after that.


	6. Chapter 6

_I fell. I should be embarrassed and maybe I am under all the stress. I've been considering quitting boxing with Tweek. For a lot of reasons but they all tie together. If I just quit, I wouldn't have to deal with… it anymore._

 _My worst fear (and you don't need to tell me I'm a shit bag for thinking this. I already know I'm a shit bag.) is that if I quit, the same thing will happen just later on._

 _But I can't keep pretending like I don't know._

 _"Get up. I didn't even hit you that hard," Tweek says. "You're not hurt." He doesn't actually know this but he's not wrong. I'm not hurt physically. I'm just a little shook, in my head._

 _I push myself to my feet slowly, pretty much ignoring him as I walk past. I mumble something like I don't wanna box anymore as I walk off the ring._

 _When I get to my bag is when Tweek grabs my shoulder and pulls me back, "What the hell is wrong with you?"_

 _I shrug him off roughly when he touches me. I didn't do it on purpose and I'm more embarrassed that I did that than of tripping over my own feet in the ring. Tweek looks a little pissed off but I'm surprised he didn't hit me in the face. "I don't want to box anymore," I repeat._

 _"Why not? What does that even mean?"_

 _"That I don't want to fucking box anymore," I snap. The whole time we're talking I keep my back to him, throwing things in my bag as if it's more important than the conversation._

 _But he walks around me to look me in the face. I glare. It's hard. "What's your problem? Lately you've been all... I don't know. I don't really care, I guess but it's affecting your boxing and it's pissing me off."_

 _I glare harder, "I don't feel well," I lie. "Just leave me alone."_

 _Tweek stares at me harder but I look away, annoyed, but really embarrassed. Tweek follows my eyes moving right, standing in front of me, and staring again. I look away, to the left this time._

 _"Bullshit," he shakes his head._

 _The way he says it makes my heart race the way it does when your parents call your name and you know you're in trouble. Real trouble. And it's so hard to look at him._

 _The only response I can think of is glaring harder. "I'm not stupid," he says. I try glaring harder but I bet I really just look scared. Because I am._

 _I look away, "What are you talking about?" It's so deflective. It's so obviously deflective._

 _Tweek looks madder, "Don't," he says. "Cut the shit." I'm trembling. "You stare at me all the time-"_

 _"Yeah, well, I need to know where you are to dodge yo-"_

 _"Even at school, even when we're changing, even in the fucking shower. You think I don't see because you think I'm stupid but really you're stupid."_

 _I don't know if it's even worth trying to sell anymore, trying to explain everything without admitting... it. I was never a good liar and Tweek's too intuitive. I should've known he knew. He probably knew the whole time. I really am stupid._

 _And it's the dumbest shit because I feel like I want to cry. I whip around and shove him with my forearm. "Fuck you." I sneer._

 _"That's all you can say because you know-"_

 _"Fuck you," I repeat. "You don't know shit."_

 _"I don't care if you do like me, I'll still kick your ass," Tweek promises._

 _All previous emotion is replaced with rage and a lot of it because it wasn't supposed to be this way and it wasn't even Tweek's fucking business and who is he to make me do anything? Kick my ass? "You couldn't if you tried."_

 _"I just fucking did, dickwad!"_

 _I punch Tweek in the face after that. I punch him hard enough to make him stumble and I take the opportunity to snatch up my things and rush to the locker room._

 _Tweek busts in a few seconds after me though. "You're a piece of shit!" He accuses. He storms over to me and shoves me, so I shove him harder. For a while we stare at each other breathing heavily. Tweek pushes me into the lockers, I grab his wrist, and then we fight._

 _That's what's supposed to happen next, right? I'm about to get my ass kicked. Again. I knew this would happen, didn't I? I just couldn't look away._

 _But then, well, I don't really know what happened. I guess I kissed him or something 'cause we were pressed against the wall kissing. And Tweek was kissing back. And I just thought if he kissed me too, then why did he pretend to be an asshole before? What was he even angry about?_

 _Our kiss was never timid. Tweek kissed me with an open mouth and I pressed my tongue against his. The noises we made were shameless and very new to me. They made me feel like my stomach was on fire. I'd never felt a body so close to mine._

 _When we finally parted heavy breathing still filled the air, but it was different this time._

 _After that we showered and changed. I asked Tweek if he wanted a ride and he ignored me._

* * *

I was laying in my bed because I woke up at like, six in the morning and couldn't fall back asleep. It's bullshit. Who wants to wake up early on a fucking Saturday? My sleep hasn't been this bad since middle school.

Anyways, I was laying there when something lands on me. It's about six foot three and weighs one hundred eighty pounds. If I weren't on my side, it'd have knocked the air out of me, but since I am, it only startles me. But, _fuck_ , dude.

"Arg, What the fuck," I groan and roll from under the figure. I can't tell if it's Kenny or Clyde. I know it's not Token. He's not into all that touchy-touchy shit. He and I allow Kenny and Clyde to do it but we don't usually reciprocate.

"Morning, Star Shine."

"Get out," I mumble into my pillow. I'm not tired but I'm also not in the mood for Clyde.

More weight is added to the bed and I sigh loudly. "Craigy-can, it's time to get up. We're painting Clyde's room today." Kenny cuddles up behind me, spooning me.

"What?" I glance back at Kenny. He smiles at me. "That's retarded. You're leaving in six months," this time I'm talking to Clyde.

"Well, I still have to live there for those six months, Craig," he tells me. "And, I don't know," he says. "I'm just not green anymore. I'm red and my room should be red like me, right?"

"No," I shut him down. "That's the dumbest shit I've ever heard."

Clyde pouts and I flick him off. "C'mon, Craig, don't be a dick. Help us paint. It's not about the painting it's about bonding."

I laugh at this. "This is you getting free manual labor."

Token is last to enter my room. Undoubtedly talking to my parents because he's _that_ friend. He can talk to anyone about anything and it will be a pleasant conversation; one you walk away from thinking, _that's a good kid_. But when it comes to parents Token really knows how to charm them.

I sit up. Token says hey and I say hello. He doesn't ask me if I'm coming or anything. He goes into my closet, pulls out some gym shorts and an old t shirt and tosses them on the bed with a, "Hurry and change, we're painting Clyde's room today."

"What the fuck, Token?" I'm surprised Token's 'okay'ed this and seems even motivated.

But then he says, "They dragged me out of bed and if I can't sleep in, neither can you, asshole. So hurry and change. We can get food after."

I don't know why I feel compelled to obey when it's Token giving the commands. I guess I just look up to him. In comparison to me, Token's got all his shit together. He and Wendy are still battling for valedictorian. He could go to any school he wanted and not pay a penny, even though he already could go anywhere even without his grades, because he's rich I mean. He's handsome too. Could probably court most girls, I bet. He just knows what he's doing. He knows what he'll _be_ doing too. That pisses me off. He's painted his picture and I don't even have a canvas yet. But it's admirable. So when he tells me to do things, I'll probably do them.

Five minutes later I'm yawning in Token's backseat. I don't pull my seatbelt over me even though I know how Token is about that stuff. I lean my head back and try to sleep through the ride, which honestly isn't that long. But Kenny keeps tickling my ear with a piece of paper he found and twisted. The ride ends with me trying to shove him out the window and Clyde laughing his ass off.

Painting Clyde's room is more effort than I think any of us thought. It takes roughly two hours and two coats. I'm hot, tired, and starving. Basically, I'm not in a great mood. And I hate Kenny and Clyde.

"You're hickys are fading. That's a shock. What happened?"

"Did you piss off your little mystery girlfriend?"

"Damn," Kenny hisses. "No ass? That sucks."

"Fuck off," I tell them. They remind me of siblings; younger siblings.

"Or maybe she pissed you off," Kenny suggests. I glare at him. "Oh, am I right?"

"No," I say lamely. He's not right but he's close enough to make it sound like I'm lying and he calls it.

"Fucking liar," he accuses with a roaring laugh.

"What happened?" Clyde wonders.

"Why would you think I'd tell you?" _I_ wonder. Then I add, "I'm not mad."

"Then what happen?" Kenny presses.

I groan. "C'mon guys, if he doesn't want to talk about it, he doesn't have to."

I scoff, "I wasn't going to." Token gives me a side glance that says I should watch my mouth because he's on my side.

"So was the food a lie? Because that's the only reason I came here."

"Bull, just admit you like us, Craig."

"I tolerate you," I tell him. "Token's cool. You two are nuisances."

"Kenny and I have fun," Clyde says as if to correct me. Which makes me raise my eyebrows at him.

"If fucking with me is your version of fun," I mumble.

"It is fun," Kenny assures me. He pats my shoulder, "But you make it too easy."

"Yeah, we can get food," Toke says, referring to my first question. He rubs his hands off on his jeans, staining them with paint. I wonder how much those pants were.

With that we're back in Token's car debating where to eat. Taco Bell is the first option via Clyde. Toke and Ken complain that we had that last time.

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure I've reached my taco limit for the month," Kenny says. "Let's get pizza."

Clyde smacks his mouth, "We _always_ get pizza."

"Taco Bell sucks," I say.

"You suck," Clyde counters.

"Whoa!" Kenny cheers. "You really got him, Clyde!" He says sarcastically.

"Shut up, Kenny!"

"No pizza, no tacos, so what are we gonna get?"

"What about subs?" Token suggests.

"I'm down," Kenny says

"Me too," I agree. We all look at Clyde because he's the baby of our friend group and always has to be the difficult one.

"Yeah, whatever," he mumbles.

Kenny snickers at Clyde's child-like attitude. "Does that suit your taste, majesty?"

"Shut up, Kenny!" Clyde repeats and we all laugh. I wonder if Tweek would joke around if he hung out with us. That's all we do. Tweek doesn't seem like the joking type. He also didn't seem like the boxing type or the mean type or the type that I jack off occasionally. It's not like he never has laughed around me or anything. That's the worst part of Tweek: how unpredictable he is.

I'll have a particularly shitty day and go to boxing thinking about how Tweek will drag me, physically _and_ verbally, mind you. But, Tweek will not only _not_ be a dick, he'll almost be nice. Those are the times he jokes around. I've always figured he could tell I was upset and was trying to make me feel better but he was probably actually just trying to not make it worse.

Can I not think about him right now?

We go out for subs and it's okay, I guess. Token can tell something's wrong with me but unlike Clyde and Kenny, he knows if I wanna talk I'll talk. So he doesn't say anything. Clyde and Kenny are too stupid to notice or maybe they do but I doubt they'd be able to keep their mouths shut if they did. Either way, I'm glad nobody brings it up.

"Hey," Clyde says when it's just us walking.

"Yeah."

"I wanna hit the gym later. Join me?"

I half shrug, "Okay."

Later that evening, Token drives me to my house and Clyde gets out with me. We go inside just to change and then we head back out to my truck.

"It's so cool that coach K lets you keep a set of keys," Clyde says, sliding into the passenger seat. He grabs a grey jacket out from under him and tosses it in the backseat.

"I guess." Usually it just stresses me about remembering to lock up which Tweek refuses to take responsibility for.

But, wait. Grey jacket?

It takes me a minute to realize the jacket's Tweek because I had already forgotten I took him home. It's no big deal. Tweek lives like a neighborhood down from me so I can just give it back to him on my way home. Then why do I have so much anxiety about it?

When we get to the gym I hand Clyde the keys and tell him I'll be there in a minute.

He narrows his eyes at me. "Whatever, bro. But if you're trying to prank me or something, I'm already aware so it won't work," he says before exiting and apprehensively making his way to the gym.

I grab the jacket. I don't know what I'm doing. I know it's embarrassing and I shouldn't but no one would know except for me and I already know how lame I am. I glance over my shoulder. Clyde's opening the door. I shove my face in the jacket.

It smells like Tweek. My face heats up. What the hell am I doing? I toss it back onto the floor in my back seat and run my hand down my face. What am I doing?

I shut the door. Fuck. What am I doing?

Fuck.


	7. Chapter 7

I feel kinda stupid standing at Tweek's front door with his jacket hanging from my hand. I've always known where he lived but this is the first time I've actually been here. I ring the doorbell. My stomach is all crazy. I dismiss this as nerves. Yep, nerves from being at Tweek's house for the first time ever or something.

Tweek's mother answers the door and there's a small moment where we just stare at each other. Then she says, "Hello..." She says it like she doesn't know why I'm here. And I don't understand her confusion.

"Hey, um, is Tweek home?"

Then her eyebrows raise, "Yes, he is. Has he done something wrong?"

I blink at her, "...No, I'm- he left his jacket in my car," I raise said article of clothing. "I was gonna give it back."

She stares at the jacket like she's seeing it for the first time. Then she stares at me like she's seeing me for the first time. She smiles brightly, "Oh, honey, come in." She pulls me inside.

Tweek's house is small and brown. There's a bunch of candles everywhere. On the dining table, the counters, coffee table, and on top of the television. I can't help but think about how dangerous it must be to have this many candles lit in one room.

"Tweek's upstairs," she tells me.

I thank her and she smiles again. I think Tweek's as weird as his mother and that should make sense. I can't imagine what his dad's like.

I realize his mom didn't tell me which room was his but there's only one shut door. So I tap my knuckles against it and wait for Tweek to answer.

"What."

I don't really know what to say. I thought he'd be like _come in_ or something but he clearly thinks I'm his mom. So I just open it and walk in anyways.

Tweek's sitting on his bed, with his laptop in his lap. His back is to me so he doesn't notice it's me until I'm standing in the middle of the room. When he does his brows furrow. He just stares, perplexed. Then he says, "What the fuck are you doing?"

"What?"

"Why are you in my house?" He says. What the fuck. Who let you in?" He moves his laptop and stands to push me towards the door. "Mom!" He calls.

"You left your jacket in my car, asshole."

"So?" Tweek says, harshly. "Give it to me tomorrow."

"There's no school tomorrow," I remind him.

"Then give it to me Monday, don't come to my house. What the fuck. Why would you come to my house? Don't come to my house. Get out."

"Am I not allowed to come to your house?"

"That's literally exactly what I'm telling you, Craig," he says.

"Why? Because I touch your dick?"

"Oh, my god. Say it louder, why don't you? Let my whole family know!" He hisses. "And, yes! Don't say it like it's crazily offensive and then stand here like the douchebag your being." Touché. "I don't want you thinking this is a thing you can just do."

"Well, asshole, I only came here to give you back your stupid jacket that _you_ left in _my_ truck." I shove it into his chest. "Next time I won't bring it to you. In fact, don't even ask for it. Anything else left in my truck is mine. I'm gonna keep it."

He takes his jacket. "Whatever, like I'd ever ride in your stupid truck again anyways."

Why wouldn't he? Why did he in the first fucking place? "It's stupid that you don't because it's not far and it's more efficient."

Tweek's face bunches up. "You sound like an idiot," he informs me. "How is it more efficient if my house is the opposite direction of your house? And you just said _it's not far_."

"I'm speaking relative to a car. It's only like a minute that way and then I drive home."

He shrugs, "I don't need it."

"So?" I say. "Doesn't mean it wouldn't be nice. The nights get hot in the summer."

"It's spring."

"I meant when it is," I say through gritted teeth.

"I feel like saying no just because you seem to want me to so badly," his eyes narrow at me. Why are they like that? My eyes are blue too but they never look like that. They're just blue but his are like, bright.

"I just thought it was nice to offer but assholes can't take favors I guess."

Tweek sticks his tongue out at me so I kiss him. Because it seemed like the right thing to do and Tweek kissed me back. Briefly. Then he pushed me away, called for his mom again, and told me to never come to his house again ever before slamming his door in my face.

His mom came up the stairs even more confused and even though I felt bad about it I walked past her without saying anything.


	8. Chapter 8

Omg would you look at that. Im not dead :D… only on the inside :D. This is no guarantee I'll be posting again soon and for that I apologize sincerely cause I understand the frustration from an unfinished story but hey im here now and I'll be back for summer and .. ah.. I mean if u pm ill respond and if I don't then jeez. I guess I really did die .. easy reading!

and thanks for the amazing reviews too btw. you guys are so nice DX this is my favorite story too c:

* * *

 _Oh, shit. I'm good today. All my training comes together and everything just feels right. I'm one step ahead of Tweek no matter what he does. Days like these are good, especially since they don't come that often. Days I'm better than even Tweek._

 _I throw a punch that I almost thought missed but it doesn't. I hit Tweek straight in his ribs. It was a hard blow too. I didn't think I'd actually hit him which is why I went so hard. He was supposed to dodge or block, not stand there like an idiot. Tweek flinches only a little bit but I know it must've hurt like hell. It hurts like hell when he hits me and I've got a much larger frame than he does. Bigger hits, smaller body._

 _Wait… Why am I feeling bad for this asshole? He beats me up all the time!_

 _Left, right, left- he does this all the time when he feels cornered. He just doesn't know I know that yet. And finally, uppercut. I block and hit him in the face. I hit him again while he's stunned and I go for another but somehow, instead of cowering and blocking and being weak since I just busted his face, Tweek stands back up and blocks and then sends a punch. Fucking prick._

 _We go back and forth for a while. It's definitely him but I can tell he's trying, just not completely there. Is that how I look when I'm off? I get another hit on him, to his shoulder this time. We go until we're too tired and beat up. Then we hop out of the ring. Tweek drinks his water. I dry my forehead and check him out while his eyes are closed._

 _"Hm," I say as we start back towards the locker rooms. "That's weird."_

 _"What?" Tweek says. I catch a hint of attitude in his tone. I smirk._

 _"Wasn't it you who said something like you'd, 'never lose to trash like me'."_

 _Tweek glares at me. "Yeah, and?"_

 _I shrug. "Don't know. Just back there, almost looked like I was... winning."_

 _"Oh, whatever. You got one good hit. That's it."_

 _"If it leaves a bruise then, that's not a good hit? I'm just asking cause your chests starting to look pretty bad. Might wanna get some ice on it." Tweek's face turns red._

 _"Well you keep hitting the same spots every time we box so of course it's gonna bruise. Plus, I just bruise easy."_

 _It's true. I learnt this while giving Tweek a hicky once. He was super pissed off by the damage. He still won't let it go. Either way, I roll my eyes, "Sure, sure, you bruise easy. It's okay, Tweek. If you want I can take it easy from now on."_

 _"Jesus Christ, your ego is suffocating. You do well one time and we'll never hear the end of it. What is that, Craig? One to a hundred?"_

 _I snicker. Tweek looks vexed but we both know where this is going. The angrier he is, the better in, in fact._

 _He opens his locker aggressively throwing shit in it. "I'd say I beat you more than just this time. There was that time I got you in the eye remember?"_

 _He scoffs, "Okay? How many times have I given you a black eye?"_

 _"You have to admit I'm improving."_

 _"Fuck off. I have to admit your opinions?" Ouch. I know he's just being bitter because I have gotten better. I think soon I might even be able to match Tweek but I'd need to apply myself a little more. "If we fight a hundred times you're bound to win eventually."_

 _"Asshole."_

 _"Ego maniac."_

 _"Fuck face."_

 _"Blow me."_

 _I chuckle and Tweek starts taking his hair down. I take my shirt off as well and then I heart a grunt. A pain-filled grunt from the blonde to my left. A small grunt but a noise of pain. I'm stunned at first but then I burst out laughing. Tweek glares, putting a hand to his rib._

 _"Does it hurt that bad?" I cackle, holding myself up with the lockers._

 _"You fucking hit me with your knuckles!"_

 _"What else would you hit with?"_

 _"Cheap bastard. You don't know anything." He grumbles._

 _"Poor thing." I step closer to him, pressing him against the lockers. "I have to admit I do feel a little bad." I case him in with my arms._

 _Tweek sighs, "Jeez, just shut up."_

 _"You want me to kiss it and make it all better?"_

 _Tweek doesn't wait for a response, he grabs my face and pulls me into him. It's not long before my tongues in his mouth but I leave his face to trail kisses down his neck to his collar. I take Tweek's waist and grab him. I've never really done this before so I'm relieved when his legs and arms wrap around me immediately after I lift him. But Tweek doesn't question it. Now I'm face level with his chest. I start with a small kiss at the edge of the worst bruise currently occupying Tweek's torso. I kiss around the edge and I'm about to move to the center but something else catches my eyes. I know girls like it when you play with their boobs but does that work for guys? Shit. Whatever._

 _Trying my best to not give away how inexperienced and nervous I am, I flick my tongue over Tweek's nipple. His body flinches. He didn't stop me though. I drag my tongue around the edge and then take the whole thing in my mouth. I play with it with my tongue and my teeth until Tweek's panting. His hands tangle in my hair. Mine hold him steady in his raises position. I gradually lower Tweek once my arms get tired and I figure his wound is sufficiently treated._

 _Tweek just pulls me back into a kiss. I trace down his sides, gripping his hips firmly. Our chests bump and our shorts brush against each other. He pulls my hair and chomps down on my lip. I slam him back against the locker._

 _"Fuck," I swear. What's his fucking problem?_

 _He pulls me closer, if that's even possible. His hand leaves my hair to grab my neck and press our lips back together. Our shorts brush again. I've never been more aware of how thing they are._

 _Why's he so fucking aggressive?!_

 _Shit._

 _He quickly abandons my lips once more moving onto my neck. "Ah, shit." His other hand still lays in my hair looping around the strands and pulling ever so slightly. His teeth sink into my neck. "Tweek, w-" I need to tell him to stop. Usually it's mostly just kissing. Our shorts brush again._

 _No way._

 _It's too late._

 _Shit._

 _He keeps kissing my neck and I swallow. I don't know what to do, I don't want to push him off of me. This is normal, isn't it? But it wasn't supposed to fucking happen. Why am I hard right now?_

 _Slowly, Tweek stops kissing and I feel my entire face heat up._

 _"Craig..." I don't even say anything. I don't know what to say. "Are you hard?"_

 _Of course, I'm fucking hard. What kind of question is that? Jesus Christ. I like kissing Tweek but I never thought it'd get like this. It was the nipples. I shouldn't have played with his nipples._

 _I didn't mean to. I didn't think I could get hard just by kissing, especially a guy. A guy. I got hard by a guy. "Uhm. Yeah." I wonder what Tweek's thinking. I can't meet his eyes. I'm the last person anyone would probably think this would happen to but Tweek doesn't look at me like other people anyways._

 _"Oh," is all he says. I guess for Tweek's there's not much to say either. I just figured if this ever happened he'd shove me away and make fun of my or something._

 _"I- uh- we don't- s-sorry."_

 _"Well, don't fucking apologize if I'm responsible," he tells me._

 _"I'm not sure what else to do."_

 _"Okay," he says. "That's fair." He kinda smiles, "I can't believe I gave you a boner." That's definitely not helping. He looks contemplative like he wants to say something and then finally he does. "Can I… see it?"_

 _I flush. "What? W- wh- a- Why?"_

 _He shrugs, "I mean I figured this would probably happen eventually. I just hoped it wasn't me first." He laughs at my expression. I'm sure he considers this a win too. "I've never seen somebody else's..."_

 _"Tweek," I start._

 _"Unless you want to stop," he adds, leaning back into my neck, pressing his lips against it._

 _I'm extremely perplexed. So while Tweek's leaving me hickys I slip my gym shorts lower on my hip until they fall to the ground. I do the same for my boxers. Tweek takes a moment to glance between our bodies. He's there a notably long time. He hums, "Can I touch it?"_

 _What are you asking? Fuck. "Do you want to?" I counter._

 _"Why else would I ask, dumbass?"_

 _My face flushed further. "Never asked before," I point out._

 _"Just a yes or no, Craig," he says. "I can tell you're nervous. It's okay if we just stop." But I don't want to stop. I never wanted to stop but I also never thought I'd be saying this to a guy. Because after this there's no denying it. Kissings just kissing. Kissings explainable._

 _"Yes."_

 _I can salvage the wreck if all it was was just kissing. You can kiss anyone and it doesn't necessarily mean anything. But why else would you-_

 _I inhale sharply. Tweek takes me in his hand firmly and starts slow strokes. He continues kissing my neck too. Hr grabs my face and turns it towards his, "Tell me if it feels good." He says before kissing me. We kiss and Tweek's hand gets faster. His hand feels so small compared to mine. It doesn't take long for me to come and I'm not even embarrassed because I wanted it to be over quickly. I wanted to go home and process because now, I have no fucking idea what I want and I'm wondering if I ever did._


	9. Chapter 9

"And then coach made me run seven extra laps because of Doug and he didn't have to do shit!" Jesus fuck, I would've guessed this story had no end, the way Clyde's able to drag out every detail. Leaving out nothing, even the irrelevant parts. Sometimes he's as bad as Marsh, how they talk about sports, oblivious to the fact that nobody cares or can even follow half the shit they're saying.

I glance at Tweek again because fuck it. He's eating with Butters which is odd. I want to know why. Tweek doesn't hang out with anyone and he doesn't eat in the cafeteria. Butters, of all people. Butters keeps a smile, laughing occasionally. He seems to be the main one talking. Tweek's deadpanned the entire time. He speaks shortly and rarely but he doesn't look annoyed or anything. What're they fucking talking about?

"Hello?" Clyde waves his hand in front of my face. "What are you looking at?"

"Nothing, I zoned out." It was good. My lie. I've been getting better. It's automatic so there's less suspicion.

But Clyde says, "Craig, you know, you act strange sometimes."

"Strange," I echo. How is any part of what I just said strange? It was more convincing than some other times.

"You're always zoning out, you're getting more and more distant, you're smoking more even though you were serious about quitting this time," Clyde counts off. "Always gone, keeping secrets, lying…"

Now, Kenny's giving me a look. He's analyzing. I suck my teeth. "You're just paranoid."

"I don't think so," he says. "Because I've been thinking this for a while now and I'm sure the guys agree with me. At first I just thought I was being paranoid but now, I wonder what kind of friend I'd be if I didn't say anything."

"It's our senior year. I'm stressed," I dismiss him. "Don't make this something."

"I mean, it's clearly already a thing if it's bothering you enough for us to notice. And stress from school? I'm not buying it," Kenny says. "Do you have anything to do in any of your classes? This is the easiest year. Especially for you, since you're not dealing with that college crap."

"It's about that girl," Toke says. I shoot him a dirty look. "Maybe she's no good, man. Also, if she's making you keep it a secret or you feel like you have to, then that's no good either, right? I mean, is that what you're stressed about?" I groan, running my hand down my face. "You should talk to somebody!" He insists. "Like, at least one of us. Or somebody else, if you won't talk to us."

"We're just worried about you, Craig."

I glance at Tweek but he's gone this time. I catch of glimpse of him leaving the cafeteria and I'm surprised he was able to do so without me noticing.

"You shouldn't be. You guys are overreacting." I tell them, standing.

"Where are you going?" Token asks. "I'm sorry, we'll stop asking questions."

I chuckle, "Chill, man, I'm just throwing my tray away."

And with that I walk over to the trash can by the door, toss my tray, and leave.

I trail after Tweek until I've caught up to him. "What're you doing?"

"Jesus Christ," he says but doesn't seem all that startled. "You're stalking me now?"

"We go to the same school," I point out. "And were friends," I add a little more boldly.

Tweek laughs. "We're not friends."

"What do you call it then?" I'd genuinely like to know.

"You don't know anything about me. We're not friends. Acquaintances, at best." A good point.

"What about..."

"Benefits," he shrugs. "But it's not like it's romantic or anything."

"Okay." This is the first time I've ever heard what Tweek feels about what we're doing.

"What do you want? Why are you even talking to me?"

"Why don't we talk to each other at school?"

"Because we aren't friends" he repeats.

"Why were you talking to Butters."

Tweek suddenly stops walking. "Did you hear me, Craig? Not romantic. As in we don't talk to each other at school and you don't worry about who I'm talking to at school and you don't come to my house to give me back my jacket as if it's an excuse to see me."

I scoff, "Someone thinks very highly of themselves."

"Please! You're so readable."

"I'm readable. Bull fucking shit." I'm not readable.

"You are readable. Always have been," he says. "You were back then and you are right now. You're gonna piss me off."

"I piss you off anyways."

"You're right about that."

"Look, I don't know what you're talking about. You're right I don't really know anything about you but I always thought we were at least friends. We see each other every day."

He sighs and rolls his eyes. "So, what do you want?"

My heart beats louder. Fuck. I don't know. "My friends were pissing me off and I saw you leaving so I left."

"That doesn't make sense, Craig."

"Where are you going?"

"Fuck. I'm going to sit in my next class."

"Who is it?"

"Lau."

"I'm coming with."

"Why?"

"I thought you didn't have friends."

"What?"

"Butters," I glance at him. "You ate lunch together."

Tweek laughs. "Could you be less obvious? It's okay, we're not screwing, Craig." I blush. Not like that helps because neither are we. "He's tutoring me."

I'm quiet. I feel kind of dumb but I never really thought they were doing anything I just wanted to know the connection. "In what?"

Tweek rolls his eyes. "You're annoying today. Is something wrong? You can just say it then. We don't have to do this."

"I just want to spend lunch together. It's not like you're doing anything anyways. Sometimes Clyde and Kenny are too much."

"Don't just follow me whenever you want. It's weird. Especially since we're not friends."

"But I can today?"

Tweek snorts. "I didn't say that either but you're gonna do it anyways, right? So, it doesn't matter what I think."

It does, I want to say but for some reason I don't entirely buy what you say. _You're gonna do it anyways right_? As if he doesn't want me here. "Sure," I tell him. In all honesty, I'd leave if he told me to but I won't say this because then Tweek would tell me to leave just to be spiteful. I have a feeling he doesn't really mind my presence.

"How's your day been?"

"Don't small talk me."

"Maybe I really wanna know, dick face."

He shrugs. "It's school. It's the same every day."

"I've never met a bigger pessimist than me but shit."

"I just really don't like school," he says. We finally get to Mr. Lau's room. He greets us. Tweek just waves. Tweek sits and I sit in the desk in front of him turned around.

"What do you like then? Because you don't seem to like school or people or me. The only thing I think you might like is boxing."

Tweek's quiet. He pulls out a worksheet and starts it. "You want me to just list shit off that I like?" I shrug. "Yeah, boxing's good. I don't know," he says, looking out the window. "I like driving. Not like driving but riding in a car, I guess."

"But you never let me give you rides."

"A ride home isn't driving," he explains. He talks to me like I'm stupid.

"Hey boys, I'm gonna head down to the lounge real quick. Can you watch the room? Tell anyone that I'll be back in a few minutes."

I tell him yeah and Tweek just nods.

"There has been something on my mind actually."

Tweek stops writing. "Is it about that time we made out in the ring and you left?"

"Fuck you and kinda."

"Good 'cause that was really weird."

"The part where we made out in the middle of the gym or the part where I left abruptly?"

"You're right," he says. "Go on."

I blush uncontrollably and it's unbearable how small he makes me feel. So I fight my own humility and blurt out in some attempt to look cool or unbothered. "I want to have sex."

Tweek bust out laughing. "Congratulations on this revelation, Craig."

"With you, fucker!" I snap thoroughly embarrassed.

Tweek's face crinkles in disgust. "No Way," he says flatly.

I scoff. "What'd you mean? Why do you say it like that. We already do stuff anyways." This isn't something I'd think he'd react about. I mean he didn't react the first time I got a boner. And it's technically all sex depending on how you look at it.

"I can see where this is going, Craig and you're not gonna let me shove my dick in your ass, right? But I don't really want a dick in my ass either. You see how this is a problem?"

"Why not?"

Tweek blushes. "Because that'll fucking hurt!"

He's kinda right. I assumed Tweek would bottom without even thinking about whether or not he wanted to. Or that he might have the same reservations about why he wouldn't.

"Fair. Why don't we flip a coin then?"

Tweek blinks at me. "And if It lands on heads... I can top?"

I blink back. "Yeah, if that's the side you're choosing."

He narrows his eyes at me. "Seriously?"

"Alternatively, if it lands on tails..."

"This is suspicious," Tweek decides.

I shake my head. "Then you flip a coin. I'll be heads and you be tails."

Tweek pulls out his wallet. "I'll be heads," he insists, pulling out a quarter.

"Toss it and then turn it over your wrist."

"I know how to flip a coin, asshole." Tweek tosses the coin in the air, catches it and smacks it to his wrist. He stares at it.

He's quiet.

"So," I say. "I have the house to myself this Friday evening, if you're free we can-"

Tweek flushes. "I hate you," he says.

"Hey, you said-"

He covers his face with his hands. "I know what I fucking said. I didn't say I wasn't going to. I just hate how you do that."

"I would've done it," I say. "You flipped the coin."

"Fuck," Tweek says, biting his lip. "Alright," he agrees. "Friday but after boxing. I don't want this to interfere with my practice."

"Of course."

"And this still doesn't mean anything. I just wanna try it." I don't know if Tweek means our relationship or sexuality. I try not to think about it. "And if I don't like it we're stopping."

"Of course," I tell him again. "I'm surprised you were so chill about it."

"Once again you're so readable, I pretty much already knew. I just wondered if you actually wanted to."

"Did you want to?"

He shrugs. "I'd like to try it. I didn't really wanna bottom but its obvious why and it's fine. I'm not obsessing over it but I'm down. Just didn't know if you were." Because we're both dudes and this is weird.

"Tweek-"

"Alright, I'm back," Mr. Lau reappears and sots at his desk.

"Nevermind," I say. I grab my bag. "I'll see you at practice today then?"

"Mhm."


	10. Chapter 10

**Monday**

The rest of my day breezes by after lunch. Token grabs me in the hall before our last period. "Dude, what happened at lunch? You shouldn't let them get to you like that."

"I know," I tell him. "They didn't. I just didn't feel like being around them anymore, you know? I just went to my next class. It was fine. I'm not mad."

He looks concerned still but he says, "Alright, if you say so."

"Seriously, I just wanted to be alone."

"You working today?"

I'm not working but I told Tweek we could go to the gym early because… I'm not working. But I just told Token that I spent the rest of lunch by myself. If I say I'm working, Token might come to the store and if I'm not working that causes a problem too. "I'm not working today," I tell him.

"Okay, well, do you wanna hang out? Kenny and Clyde might come over and drink and I don't wanna babysit those assholes alone."

"Yeah, okay." If it's later then that's fine. I just won't mention a time to meet up if he doesn't.

"I'll see you tomorrow." Token just nods and heads to class.

After that school ends and I head home. Later that night Tweek and I meet to box and work out and then we head to the locker rooms. It's quiet for a while, we just change.

"So I was doing some research for Friday," I start. We could just do it here in the gym I guess but it's obvious why we wouldn't want to.

"You were watching porn," Tweek says unimpressed. "Continue."

"I think we should try fingers to get you used to it before Friday."

"Why," he grumbles.

"You said you were worried about it hurting, right? Well, I read that you should prep it by stretching with fingers first and I think we should try it until Friday."

"Fuck off, asshole."

"I'm being serious." I close him in. "Don't tell me you're shy now?"

Tweek scoffs. "Fuck off, Craig. You're a fucking pervert."

I lean into his neck. "I'm gonna do it anyways."

Tweek tries to pry me off. "Fuck you. If I say no, then the answer's fucking no."

He's barely budging me. "Let me try it, at least. Maybe you'll like it."

Tweek sighs. "You're so annoying." He looks away frustrated. "You know there are things I have to do too before we do stuff like this. You can't just be like, ' _Oh, let's do_ it.'" His face goes red. Tweek continues to look at the wall and I just stare at him blankly. I start laughing. "What the fuck, Craig?"

I thought he was uncomfortable with the thought of it. If those are his only concerns. "Like I said, I'm gonna do it anyways." I kiss his neck. "I also read that there's supposed to be some kind of G-spot so you might actually like it more than you think."

"Whatever," Tweek mumbles. "I've never heard that."

"Let's just try it," I kiss him again and then his collar and then I chomp down on it. Tweek loops his fingers through my hair and his chest starts falling quicker. My hand on his hip slips under his shorts and lower them.

"Fuck," Tweek swears. "Fine," he says grabbing my hand. "But I wanna do it kissing. And you can't open your eyes."

"Kinky. You got it," I wink at him. Tweek blushes more and drops his shorts. "Wait," I tell him and grab a small bottle from my bag. "We need this."

Tweek grabs my face and pulls me into him. So I close my eyes. He kisses me and I blindly pour the lube onto my fingers. I close the bottle and toss it back in my locker somehow by memory. I grab Tweek's hip with my clean hand and feel my way down. I cup his cheek and pull, hopefully exposing him. I gently reach until my fingers pressed against him. Tweek flinches but presses into the kiss harder. I push my finger inside him and he just presses closer to me. I prod into Tweek trying to mimic what I saw on the web and what I read but he doesn't really react much just little noises. But not really Tweek's _pleasure_ noises. "How is it?" I go to move away from him a little. I think I forgot I was supposed to keep my eyes shut.

"Mm... Just weird." He pulls me back into him. I add a second finger and then he just seems uncomfortable. So I start jacking him off instead. His head falls into my chest.

Tweek and I finish each other off how we always do and then we shower.

Right before Tweek and I are about to head out, I'm messing with him pushing him into the lockers gently and nipping at his neck some more. Just dumb shit.

I call it dumb shit because we almost get caught in this act when it's something I wouldn't normally do. Just how Tweek would normally not get a ride with me or let me put my fingers in his ass. Like a lot of things, we normally never do that we keep doing.

The door opens and I hear it, just after so many years of thinking I heard it and being wrong it takes me longer than it should to be a safe distance from Tweek.

But coach wasn't expecting anything when he came in I guess so he doesn't notice much. He barely notices us at all until he does. He's opening his office. "Boys," he greets, absentmindedly. He's staring at his phone. "Left my goddamn wallet. Can you believe it? Ha," he laughs. "Just finishing up then?"

I nearly shat myself. I can't even speak I'm still so stunned of what almost just happened. "Yeah Coach," Tweek answers for both of us.

"So how's it going anyway? You guys come here late now that you're working. I never see you. Y'all ought to be setting up for college or some shit, right?"

"Yeah," Tweek says. "College isn't really me."

"You should have a plan," he tells the blonde still not paying full attention. "What about you, Craig?"

"Uh," My voice is kinda shaky. "I'm taking a year off probably."

"Hm," he huffs. "Well, who am I? I didn't go either. Ha, ha!" He laughs again. "Alright, alright, I gotta get back. I'll see you boys later. Actually, I gotta talk to you about something, Craig." Fuck. He leaves.

Tweek and I are quiet for a while. "Holy shit. I thought we were busted for sure."

I look at him. "That's it?"

"It would've been your fault, Craig! You're mad that I'm not mad enough... at you? It doesn't matter. He didn't see and we're still good so let's just pretend this didn't happen."

I don't ask Tweek if he wants a ride but he quietly follows me to my truck. I drive him home with the windows down because it's a nice night. He leans out on his elbow. He looks mesmerizing. I'm too cautious about driving (especially with him) to get distracted but I wish I could without him noticing.


	11. Chapter 11

**Tuesday**

Tweek and I were somewhere dark and undistinguishable. But I felt safe enough to not think about it. He was already naked. I scanned his features. He's stunning. He crawls down my body until he's between my legs. I can't help but think how weird this all is as he begins blowing me.

And then I wake up.

 _Beep, beep, beep_! _Beep, beep, beep_!

I stop my phone alarm. How am I supposed to make it through the week, knowing what's to come on Friday? I can't stop thinking about it and after yesterday… Fuck. This will be the longest week of my life. I'm already so tired too.

I have to take a shower since my dream had a nice ending and I practically fall back asleep against the wall in the shower. I get out when Ruby starts banging on the door. That's when I realize how late I am, grab a granola bar, and rush to my truck.

When I do eventually make it to class, my teacher doesn't mention my tardiness, fortunately.

Unfortunately, I have this class with Kenny and Clyde who are not so gracious. "Ooh, that's eleven minutes late, mister."

"Inexcusable."

"Don't start. I'm not in the mood." This keeps them quiet for a while. Long enough for me to dose off. I should care more since I was also late but I just don't. I'm so tired and it's so close to the end of the year. If this could just be over-

Something tickles ear. Most likely a piece of torn paper. This is followed by giggling. I glare behind me. Kenny barely contains himself. Clyde also has to put his head down to hold in his laughter. "I'm serious, asshole."

Kenny ignores me and for the rest of class I'm besieged with spits balls, paper balls, and mini airplanes. So instead of sleeping through first period how I planned, I was just really annoyed the whole time.

The bell rings releasing us finally and I start to walk to my next class, leaving the guys behind but they catch up. "Aw Craig, c'mon don't pout now."

"Can you shut the fuck up already? I am one hundred percent not joking when I say I will kick your sorry ass if you don't leave me alone, Kenny."

"Ha, ha," Kenny laughs. "Calm down. We were joking!"

"Look me in my face and ask me if I give a shit."

"You're like a giant toddler sometimes. It's really annoying."

I go to step towards the blonde and Token steps in between us. Kenny just walks off and Clyde shakes his head.

Fast Forward to my second period and we're handed back our tests. I got a D minus. Which means I'd be wrapping up the semester with a big fat F. Which is failing and not barely passing as I had anticipated. I wait all class to talk to the teacher until the bell rings and everyone's filing out of the classroom.

"Sir, I can't fail this class."

"Well, Craig, you should've thought about that sooner. It's not like you were doing well before the test either."

"I didn't think I'd fail the test though. I was supposed to get a C, at least. I suck at Science."

"You should've applied yourself more."

"Please," I beg. "Just let me take the test again. Or a new test. I need a redo. Please. I need to graduate." The teachers quiet for a while "I need to get out of here."

He sighs, adjusting his glasses. "Fine. Tomorrow morning. You have until the first bell so it's whenever you get here you can start and if you run out of time, I don't care."

"Thank you so much, sir."

What a piece of shit. Maybe I'm doing so shitty because you fucking suck as a teacher. Maybe if you could teach better I would understand it and I wouldn't have failed the test in the first fucking place, Derek.

You know what? Fuck this. I'm going home. I've been here less than two hours and it's already been a shit day. I could go home and nobody would even know. I'm the first one back anyways.

I leave. I go into town and get some Chinese food. I head home and then I kick back and watch old movies and eat. I nap until my parents get home and then I start gearing up for boxing.

"I'm about to head out," I tell my mom, throwing my bag over my shoulder.

"Alright. Don't be too late," she says.

I drive to the gym and Tweek's already there, running on the treadmill. I join him, opting for weights. We work out independently for a while. I watch Tweek in the mirror. He jams to his music, lip synching occasionally. It's cute. I wonder what he listens to.

When Tweek's ready, he stops the machine and takes his earplugs out. I put the weight down carefully. We both take a water break. "Hey," he eventually says.

"Yo."

We wrap our fists, put in our mouth guards, and get in the ring. "Ready?" he asks. I just give a nod and we start. We box for a while until we're both drenched in sweat and panting but it was uneventful. Tweek announces that he's done and we step back out of the ring. We drink our water and head to the locker room.

I'm hesitant to do anything, right? Because naturally, I'm shook by coach coming in on us yesterday but should I act okay anyways? Should I hold back? If we don't do anything here, then where else would we, you know? Well, there is my house, like we plan to on Friday but that's not always a viable option. Especially with my family, someone's always home. Tweek said I'm not allowed to go to his place.

So, when he gets in the shower, I get in with him. I grab the handle and crank it to hot so the water steams and I push him up against the wall. He leans on his hands and I penetrate him with my fingers. He doesn't react much. It's frustrating. I'm doing everything. He just doesn't like it.

I turn him around, close my hand around both of our erections and stroke us together. Tweek's moans echo off the tile. "Fuck- hah- I'm coming," he warns and then tenses. Tweek comes and then I come.

Even though, I got off, this is still a loss.

I drive Tweek home for some reason. (I say for some reason because of all the shit he talked before and now he does ride with me so what the fuck?) And then I drive myself home.

As soon as I walk in, I know somethings up. My mom and dad are in the living room. My mom holding the phone. "Craig, could you come here." Fuck. I walk over to them. "Sit," she says.

I sit. "I just got the strangest call from your school," she says. Fuck. "They say you weren't there but," she laughs. "It's crazy because I know you were. You didn't stay home today. I asked your father he agreed he saw you leave. And you didn't say anything to him about staying home. So, I told them and they told me you did show up… for two of your classes."

"It's not that big of a deal. I wouldn't have left if I was gonna miss something important," I say. "It's so close to the end. We're not even doing anything anymore."

"Then why can't you just fucking finish? Why do you have to do this dumb shit now?!" My dad shouts. I flinch a little. "I'm sick of it. You got three months. And you're gonna go to school every single day for the next three month until you walk across that goddamn stage. Do you hear me?"

"…Yes."

"What?"

"Yes, sir."

"You're lucky I don't ground your ass."


	12. Chapter 12

**Wednesday**

"Craig, it's time to wake up. You're gonna be late for school." It's about as nice as my mom can get at this point, I'm guessing. And I'm grateful because once again, mornings here at the Tucker house are hard for everyone involved. Both of my parents seem so fed up with me. It's frustrating considering I don't think I'm doing all that bad. I'm an adult. I can make my own choices now even if I'm still in high school. They could lay off a little. I see where they're coming from but still. I'm not perfect. And I'm going through a lot.

They don't know that though. All I've been doing lately is dodging people. Anyone who would listen or could probably help, you know, just the important ones.

I pretty much wear what I wore to bed: gym shorts and a sweat shirt but I change into a clean sweatshirt. One without stains and holes. What else? Augh, I'm half asleep.

"Fuck!" Forget everything I don't have; I don't need it.

"What?!" My mom calls as I rush past her.

"My test. I forgot. _Fuck_!" I pull my sneakers on. How much time do I have? How much do I need? Assuming it's the same amount of questions, a thirty-question test in… thirty-five minutes. But by the time I get there it'll be more like twenty-eight. That's fine. I already took it and it's Science so I either know it or I don't.

I speed to school, disregarding a lot of traffic signals. But here's to not giving a shit and hoping for the best. I sprint to this man's room, pausing at the door to compose myself. I made it with thirty minutes and when I sit down and he hands me the test, it's a shortened version. Fuck, I can rest.

Well, I mean, I could still fail it. No, I won't think about that.

I finish pretty quickly and Mr. Board tells me if I wait he can grade it there. I'm nervous. What's my move if I fail this class? Can I walk if I fail this class? _Can I graduate if I fail this class_? How did I get here?

"Hm," he hums after a while. I blink at him. I hate him so much. _Hm_. Did I pass or not, fuck face? "Good job. You got an eighty-eight this time. Unfortunately, I'll have to average the scores together, but it's still way better than what you would have had."

I thank his dumbass again for the opportunity and then leave. In my head, I do the math. I got a 68 before and an 88 this time and my percentage in the class-

"Craig, hey man," Token greets, followed by Clyde and Kenny. I'm too busy with my thoughts though. He's gonna throw me off and Clyde and Kenny can choke and die.

This is reiterated by a sharp glare to the trio and me continuing on my path. The bell rings. "Can we skip the part where you're mad and you hold a grudge?" Clyde asks, "Can we just go to the part where you realize we're still your friends and being angry is a waste of time? We're sorry. We didn't mean to piss you off."

"It's just too easy," Kenny adds.

"You guys are too old for your shit sometimes. It's annoying. I'm a senior in high school but I feel like we're preschoolers sometimes."

"Any other day you would've found that funny," says Kenny.

"What the fuck are you talking about? I'd only find that shit funny if I were drunk or something," I say. "If I were intoxicated and acting like a child," I emphasize.

"Fine, whatever, Craig. We're immature and you're hot shit," Kenny says. "Do you forgive us? You're going to eventually anyways. C'mon now."

"I mean, I still think you guys are fucking idiots but yeah, you're right. I forgive you then."

"Thank you, your majesty. I am but a mere peasant. May I kiss the ground that is so blessed to be walked upon by you?"

"You apologized to me. You were asking for my forgiveness and I gave it so shut the fuck up and take it, Ken. Before I take my anger out on you."

"Scary," Ken shivers, "Sounds genuine." We make it to class and all take our seats. "Something happen to make you so pissed?"

I shrug, "My parents can't just chill until I graduate. They think it's me but I'm pretty sure I'm always like this."

"You are," Clyde agrees.

"Alright, everyone, pay attention," our teacher starts.

"Wake me up when class is over," I tell them, putting my head down. I'm gonna fail for sure. I just wish I gave a shit.

I'm dumping my books at my locker during lunch and Tweek enters the hall. He cut his hair. "Hey," I greet, out of habit. Although, I don't know if we still don't talk at school. There were never any rules. Just things we did and things we didn't do.

"Hey," Tweek says.

"Where are you headed?"

He shrugs, "Probably gonna grab lunch and head somewhere to eat."

"Why don't you just eat in the cafeteria?" This isn't something I'd usually ask but here we are having a discussion, while walking to lunch. Together.

"I hate the cafeteria," he says. "Crowds give me anxiety," he sums it up. I didn't know Tweek had anxiety. Well I know he used to have it bad but he's grown to be so indifferent and seemingly confident in himself. "Don't tell me you're gonna tag along again."

"Nah," I say. "Sorry to disappoint you but I had predetermined plans to eat with the guys. We can eat together tomorrow though."

"I wasn't _asking_ you to eat with me," he blushes. "Whatever," he starts to walk off but I grab his arm and pull him back. He tries to snatch it from me and looks annoyed but I don't let it go. Only because he tried to snatch it away and that makes me a little annoyed. I don't have that right really but I disregard.

"I don't have to work today," I tell him.

"Woop-dee-doo." His hair looks cute. I can see his face more. I hope I'm not blushing.

"We can box right after school," I explain. "If you want."

He looks thoughtful. His eyes are stunning. "Alright, give me time to go home and get my shit though." His eyelashes are long too. I wonder why I've never thought of taking a picture of him. He looks really good today. What the hell… " _Alright_?"

What did he say? Fuck. "Er, Yeah, of course," I stammer. "I can give you a ride if you want. My stuff's in my truck already," I tell him once I get it together.

"You and your stupid truck," he grumbles.

"Yeah, it's so tedious having the convenience of being able to go wherever we want."

"It's okay, I'll just meet you at the gym. Now, let go of me, psycho." _If I stopped being so forceful would you pursue me instead? Would you care either way? Because of your indifference_.

I'm significantly stressed. I text Toke that I'm skipping lunch to smoke and he meets me by the dumpsters. "I didn't mean for you to come…"

He shrugs, "I came because I didn't want you out here by yourself. I was done anyways." I light my cigarette. "You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm just tense. I don't know. I'm stressed. School, my parents, my future-"

"Your lover."

This makes me laugh out loud. "My _lover_?"

"What else should I call her?"

I roll my eyes. " _Anyways_ ," I say. "Yeah, I guess that too." But it should all be fine after Friday. Lovers… ha. Even after we have sex we won't be.

"We don't have that long left," he assures me. "You'll be fine." And I will, because _Token_ said so. "Everything's wrapping up. All the finals are bullshit, you know? We're just cruising now. As for your parents, you oughta just go to school and not act out until you graduate because I think they won't care what you do after that. You can just live with them until you figure the rest out." I don't think Token realizes my current grades and the actual damage. It isn't bad or anything, at least I don't think so but it's barely making it.

"Yeah, you're right." I still feel uneasy.

"And about this girl."

"Alright," I say. "Let's talk about anything else."

Token laughs but drops it thankfully. That's the last thing I want to think about.

The rest if the day drags on. I wish I could just leave. I think knowing I have to stay is making it worse. I couldn't even smoke.

But finally, the last bell rings. I trudge along to my locker. I put my combination in and lean inside. "What's wrong with you?"

"Go away, Kenny."

"Ha," Kenny pats my back. "C'mon, man. I care about you."

"I'm stressed and kinda sore. And I'm having problems sleeping," I start listing off into my locker.

Kenny laughs again and I regret being so honest. But then he says, "You just need to get high."

I chuckle, "You're right."

"Here," Kenny pulls out one of those oversized pill bottles that you get with vape juice. But I don't have a vape and I don't think there's juice in it. I take it from him and put it in my back in one smooth move.

"Why do you have this at school?"

Kenny rolls his eyes. "I don't need to be lectured, bro. If you don't want it, give it back."

"How much?"

"Take it, it's yours."

Gross. "Augh, no, how much?"

"Smoke it before bed. It's Indica so it's should help you relax." He starts to walk away. "I gotta go. Feel better, dude."

"Thanks, Ken…" I grab my stuff and head to my truck.

I head to the gym to start working and wait for Tweek. I don't really mind how long it takes him. I just know exercise will help too. But he doesn't take long to show up. He's already dressed. He gears up and we fight for a while. He gets me in the face good and I go down. Fuck. I'm so fucking lame. He leans over me. "You good?"

I squeeze my eyes shut. "Yeah, just- stunned, I guess. Give me a second." He really got me. Jesus, this is reminding me of the first time we boxed and he knocked me out. That shit hurt so fucking bad though, this is nothing.

"Sorry, you leaned into it."

" _What_?!"

He laughs. "Yeah, you really suck." He offers his hand and I take it. Tweek pulls me to my feet and as soon as I'm steady I attack him. Tweek tries to get me in a head lock so instead, I grab him by his legs, heave him up, and slam him onto the mat. He gasps. "Craig!" he shouts. "Are you fucking insane?!"

I can't respond through how hard I'm laughing. "But it didn't hurt, right?" The look on his face was everything.

He glares at me which means no. He tries to move to get up but I pin him back, throwing my leg over his to hold him down. His eye brow twitches. "You're starting to piss me off."  
"Prove it."

"Right here?" he asks. "After almost getting caught a _two_ days ago?"

"It was weird enough he showed up then. What are the odds he'd come back again today?"

"It's early," he says, glancing towards the door.

"Scared?"

"This is dumb."

I flip Tweek onto his Stomach and press myself against his back. "I thought you said you said you didn't care," I murmur by his ear. He seems flustered which is new. I don't know if it was on purpose or not but his back arches a little bit which I take as an invitation. I slip my hand between him and the mat and press it against his stomach, pushing him more into me. Then it slides into his shorts. Tweek lets out a loud breath. I start to rock against him while my hand moves on him. I grind against Tweek and he presses back into it. I kiss the back of his neck. I want to make him feel good since he hasn't been liking fingers and it seems like that's all we do anymore.

"G- gonna- ah- mn- come on the mat," he struggles. He's right.

"Wait." I toss my shirt over my head and throw it under him. Then I lean back into him.

Tweek and I seem to come only seconds apart. It's weird but a nice weird.

I didn't really think about where we were, what time it was, or any of that. That's pretty scary.

We pant together, him still beneath me. "We should clean up quickly," I say after a while.

"Yeah," he agrees, dazed.

"You okay?"

"Yeah," he repeats. I move to stand and start cleaning up. Tweek follows after a few seconds to clean up as well. We get our stuff together and head to the locker room. We undress, shower, and then head out to my truck.

It registers far too late that I left out what Kenny had given me. And I left it in the passenger seat. If I'd thought of it fast enough. I could've grabbed it before Tweek opened the door but he was in before me. And he's holding the baggie up before I even have my seatbelt on. Luckily for me though, Tweek only laughs. "You're a real delinquent. First cigarettes, now weed?"

"Shut up. Kenny gave it to me. I told him I was stressed and," I glance at it. That idiot.

Tweek laughs. "That's so funny. Your friends sound stupid."

"They are."

"Still, now we have this," he says. I'm about to ask him to elaborate what he means when he pulls something out of his bag. "If you are stressed, I can roll." It's blunt wraps. I stare at them probably too long. Why does he even fucking have that on him now? "Well, asshole?"

"Yeah sure," I settle. I'll have to drive us somewhere else though. I start the truck.

"You sure? No pressure."

"Nah, I do. I just wasn't expecting you to have those in your bag. Just not the reaction I would've expected."

Tweek only laughs more. I wish instead, he'd explain why. I don't want to immediately jump to stoner but he has them and "knows how to roll." But Tweek is so athletic and fit. There's no way he's going home and smoking a bowl every day.

But Tweek finishes rolling before I even arrive to the spot and when I eventually get to look at it. It's really fucking good. Seamless. It's seamless. How'd he do that? He rolls like Kenny. Better than Kenny. Like his older brother, Kevin.

"Nice..."

"Thanks," he says.

The spot I mentioned is just a small clearing on a path that leads into the woods somewhere just a little outside of town. It's the only place I could think of. We got super lucky though because it's beautiful and I hadn't planned that part.

"You wanna start it since it's your weed?"

I snort and wave him off. "I don't care about that shit. Go ahead."

He lights it and takes a huge hit before passing it to me. My truck is already filled with smoke. It's a nice blunt. Hits well. Tweek's a stoner. What a development.

We pass it back and forth until I can hardly see anymore. In my haze, I think about how I'll have to drive us back.

"Why're you so stressed?" he asks, blowing out smoke. "This is the easiest part of everything."

I'm hesitant. Because this is delving into my personal life and issues and we don't discuss that. "It's mostly my parents and the future."

He nods, handing the blunt to me. "Are your parents mad that you're not going to college or something?"

I chuckle and nod, taking a hit. "Something like that. Yeah."

"That's dumb. I hate the idea that college means success and choosing to not go automatically means you've failed. You don't really need to waste your money on college if it's not beneficial to your plans."

"I have no idea what I want to do," I admit.

Tweek shrugs, "You're only 18. You have plenty of time. You can still go."

It makes me feel a little better but I'd rather not talk about this anymore.

"I didn't expect you to be someone who smoked."

Tweek snorts. "Why not?"

I shrug. I don't really know anything about him. "I guess I judged your appearance," I admit. "... What else are you hiding?"

"Just because you didn't know doesn't mean I was hiding it," he tells me. "That's not something you usually tell people anyways." He's right but still, I know nothing about him. But I can't just bombard him with questions.

"Wanna play music?" I ask him, handing him the AUX cord. "I'm not picky," I add.

He hums, "My music's kinda weird…"

"I don't have a preference," I assure him. "Play whatever you want," I want to say within reason. And you know, I wish I did care. But even if it's the shittiest music ever, it just won't be. Because it's his music.

"It's pretty much elevator music," he says.

"Play it."

Tweek plugs in his phone and begins a song. It's slow but funky. The song is something like psychedelic rock, garage, and pop. "It's not bad. I like it." Hm?

"Why are you blushing?" He turns towards the door so I can't see his face. I lean closer. "Is your music your kink or something?"

Tweek groans, "No, asshole! I just don't usually share this stuff with people. It's embarrassing."

"You're so weird sometimes," I lean back. "Who knew," I say. "All it took to make you blush is complimenting your music." Music can be kinda vulnerable, I guess. I don't really listen to it like that but if I think about it, Tweek always has his headphones in at school. "Wow. So, at school you're really jamming, all the time." This gets him to laugh a little. He shakes his head.

"It's not popular stuff. Most of it's stuff nobody's' really heard of."

"Good music's good music. Right?"

"I don't know," he says. "Not really when it's subjective."

"Then it is 'cause I'm saying so."

"Okay," he settles.

"You're hair's nice."

"…Thanks."

"Why the pause?"

"That was a weird thing to say."

"I don't think so. Whatever it is we do, I obviously like the way you look so if you change your hair, I'm gonna tell you I like it."

He starts laughing. "Even if you don't?"

"I would though," I tell him. It's a promise, I don't know what he takes it as though. He just stares at me and starts laughing harder. But I wish he knew I wasn't joking.

"You got so serious! Fine, okay, yeah, I'd like you even if you shaved your head."

"That'd probably look good."

"Yeah," he agrees. "It would."

"I'm not shaving my head," I assure him.

"I was hoping you wouldn't." I narrow my eyes at him and he laughs some more. When his laughing dies down he says, "She cut it too short."

"Let me see."

"What?" he looks at me and I just lift the center console, opening my lap to him. "C'mere and let me see." He blinks a little bit but crawls over onto my lap anyways. I stare at his face and he looks at the door. "It looks good short though. It makes your eyes stand out more."

"It's not like I'm trying to get noticed."

I snort but when he looks at me I wave him off. "I'm just complimenting you. Usually people say thank you."

"I did say thank you."

"It was a very delayed, apprehensive 'thanks,'" I say. "And then you called me weird."

"You are weird," he mutters.

"That's rude. You're one to talk."

"Hm," he won't look me in the eyes. "I'm not weird like you though."

"What's the difference."

He chuckles, "Fuck off." Maybe he'll tell me one day.

We start kissing naturally. I was enjoying myself but Tweek stops me and says, "I can't anymore. I'm gonna get hard."

"I'm not seeing the problem," I mumble, against his neck.

"My legs hurt, asshole! We can't do anything like this."

This kills my vibe completely. I sigh. "Fine. Alright. Are you ready to go back?"

"Yeah…" he says, crawling back into his seat. "This was nice. This is the kind of driving I like."

"Roll down the sunroof." There's a tiny second I catch and I'm so glad I do. Tweek looked so happy. We start driving back, wind whipping me in the face. But Tweek looks so happy.

Eventually I pull up to his house. "Thanks," he says vaguely before hopping out. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Bye."


	13. Chapter 13

**Thursday**

I didn't sleep much last night. Geez, last night was weird. It was really nice but it was so weird. He didn't like making out in my car but I was so turned on. It kinda makes me sad, I want to do it again. Why does he hate my truck so much? One more day and that's it.

"Craig, can I talk to you?"

I blink out of my daze, "Coach, yeah…" I follow him back into his office. He shuts the door. "What's this about? Am I in trouble?"

"Yes," he says and then he laughs at my face. "You dumbass, you haven't been lockin' up, have you?" I pause. "See!" he points at me. "I put a lot of trust in you, Craig and the responsibility wasn't even that big. Just remember to lock the front door and the side door." It shouldn't be that hard but that's around the time Tweek and I mess around and when he's around, it just doesn't matter. But I can't tell coach that. I end up stammering and saying nothing. "They found a bum in here," he tells me.

I stare at the floor. That's worst-case scenario. That means… "I have no choice. I'm sorry. I'm gonna have to revoke your key."

"But-"

"No way," he says. "They got the bum out pretty quick but I got in trouble for that. You're careless. It'd happen again."

"I'm sorry."

He sighs, "It's fine, Craig. I just wish you'd have done what I asked. I'm disappointed but hey, at least I can go back to coaching you guys!"

I try not to look dejected but _fuck_. If I'd just been more careful. What the fuck does this mean? "For… the rest of the year?"

"Do y'all plan on coming in after that? Tweek mentioned leaving after graduating and the way he talks about it, he'll be gone day of. I wouldn't mind working with you this summer, if you're taking a gap."

"I don't know what I'm doing," I admit. "That's just what it's coming down to since I won't make a decision."

"What're your option?" He sits at his desk and motions for me to sit too.

I sit by the door and fidget. "Well, I guess I could still apply for school… I'm kind of interested in photography but that's not practical."

"Hm," is all coach responds with so I continue nervously. I didn't realize how self-conscious I was about this. Nobody's ever sat down with me to talk about it. It's always been more of an expectation I knew they had and then anger that I wasn't meeting it.

"Um, I have some money saved… I could save up more until summer and probably have enough to go somewhere but… I don't really know where I'd go, honestly. South Park is just kind of suffocating. I feel like if I stay, I'd be trapped here." He chuckles. "No offense."

"No, it's true. You should leave. I don't know about school. I think it's a little late for that and you still don't seem sure enough to be tossing that kind of money away," he tells me. "What about boxing?"

I shrug. "I don't think I'll do it after I graduate. It was more of an outlet and when Tweek leaves. I won't have anyone to practice with."

"I meant why don't you pursue that."

This time I laugh. I start laughing harder. What the hell is he talking about. "Like professional boxing? What are you talking about? That's not a real thing, first of all and secondly, I can't do that. I'm a novice, at best."

He snorts, "You're so ignorant and naïve."

"What?"

"Craig, if people weren't trying to be boxers, there wouldn't be any fuckin' boxers!"

"Yeah, okay, b- but I'm not good enough to do that."

Coach sizes me thoughtfully, "You're in good enough shape and you've been training for several years. It wasn't formal training or anything special but some of the best only started training in high school and you've been doing it longer than that. I also think Tweek's good competition because it may have seemed like you weren't getting better but really Tweek was also getting better at the same time, probably faster at some points. And you seem to have caught up with him. I mean I don't wanna get killed or anything," he looks around. "But I might even say you're better. Just because you can train someone to be better but you can't train someone to have a better build."

"Ha," I laugh. "That's crazy. I can't do that."

"You set your limits, Craig. You can do whatever you want. But let me know if you're into that and I can help you get started."

I'm at a loss for words. I can't even really process so I head back into the locker-room and continue getting dressed for P.E.

"Hey."

"Hey," Tweek says. We start walking to lunch. "Stop that," he says.

I blink, "What?" I ask, genuinely curious.

"Checking me out. It's annoying." Was I checking him out? He scoffs, "Don't act like you didn't realize. You're so obvious about it." It's funnier to me because I really didn't realize and the way he says it means I've done it before.

"Was I staring?"

"Yes! You stare at my head the most and it pisses me off."

I start laughing more. "I like your haircut."

"Are you mocking me?" he says. "I'm not short. You're stupidly tall."

"So that's what this is about? I like that you're shorter."

"I bet you do."

"Wait, are you mad _because_ I'm taller than you?" he blushes. That's cute. "That's not fair, Tweek. It's not like I can help that I'm taller than you."

"You don't have to be a dick about it."

"I'm sorry. I won't stare at your head then."

"Augh," he groans. "Don't do that either."

I start laughing. "Apologize?"

"Yeah and especially not like that. Just… shut up."

"Anway," I say completely disregarding him. "I talked to coach today. I got in trouble."

"Ha, what'd you do?"

"I forgot to lock up and a bum got in the gym and coach got in trouble so now I can't have a key."

" _Wow_ ," Tweek says. "Can you tell me what it's like to be _that_ stupid?"

 _You_ make me this stupid!

"Yeah okay, but we have to practice with him from now on."

"That's so weak," he says.

"Yesterday was-"

"Yesterday was weird," he says. "And we don't even know if anyone saw. I said I didn't care and I guess I don't but that doesn't mean I wanna do stupid shit like that. Even if you were a girl, you know, I wouldn't have wanted to do that there."

"…I'm sorry." Geez, I'm being scolded a lot today.

"Dude, whatever, just… try to be less reckless."

"I can't tell when you really mean stop. Sometimes you mean don't stop."

He shakes his head. "You can't tell me you didn't think that was stupid."

"I don't know. I didn't mean for it to happen but I couldn't stop myself."

"That's a lame excuse. You're an adult. Control yourself."

"Yeah, you're right…"

He sighs. "It's fine. If I really wanted to stop, we would have."

"That's what I figured."

"Ew, they're having turkey for lunch. I'm probably not gonna get anything..."

"Wanna go somewhere?"

"Huh?"

"I have a car. We can just go somewhere and get something real quick and come back."

"That's... This is why…"

"Hm?"

"I can't, Craig. Just. Ugh. You're too much." He walks away.

* * *

"Where the hell were you?"

"Doesn't matter." I push Clyde away.

"Where'd you go the other day too?" Kenny adds. Token glances at me.

"Leave me alone. I'm not in the mood." I don't like how they're surrounding me.

"So it's just fine that you keep ditching us? Noted. Duly noted."

"I went somewhere to get food. I just didn't feel like being in the cafeteria, surrounded by people," I tell them putting my things in my locker. "And that's it. Stop reading into everything."

"I also wanted to smoke a cigarette so I just left. I didn't think you guys were keeping tabs on me or that it'd hurt your feelings if I didn't show up for lunch."

"It's just suspicious. Makes me think you're meeting with someone. Meeting with Mystery Lady?" Clyde narrows his eyes at me. "Maybe she does go to the school."

"Alright. I gotta get home and get ready for work."

"Okay, see you tomorrow, man."

"Yeah."

"Feel better."

* * *

I work my shift and then leave early with permission from Sydney, the manager so I can meet with Tweek and coach. Coach makes us stretch and do a few warm ups. Then we get right into it. He hits with Tweek and I individually and then we box together and after it all we do a quick work out. Then we head home. Nothing happens because coach is in his office the whole time doing paper work. Tweek doesn't even ride with me when we leave.

Tonight, will be the worse night anticipating tomorrow and we weren't even able to do anything today. Fuck.


	14. Chapter 14

**Friday**

Friday rolls around too casually. I wake up, get dressed, and grab a granola bar. Just like any other day, but it's not any other day. My head spins a little. I wonder if I'll be okay… It should be fine though. I couldn't sleep much and when I could my dreams were all too kind. I had to replace my sheets before I left, because I'll be needing my bed later _. I cannot think about this all day_. If I get hard in calculus, I'll look like a fucking idiot.

"Are you sure you don't want to come, Craig?" My mom asks. She's referring to the trip she and Ruby are taking to see our grandma.

"I would love to, but I have to work, mom."

"You work too much."

"What kind of complaint is that? I have to. Maybe I can get promoted."

"Oh," she says, unimpressed. "And is that what you wanna do? Manage a convenient store?"

"Could be nice," I shrug. "Simple job, I'll have money to travel and save up for my own place…"

My mom rolls her eyes. "Do something with yourself, Craig. You're pretty impressive."

I roll my eyes. "I'm so young. I can't even legally drink yet. Let me live out my youth before my life has to be boring and consistent."

Mom sighs, "Moody teen." She walks off with her coffee. I pour some for myself before heading out. I pass my dad and give him a wave. He just grunts. Tuckers aren't morning people. I don't even know where Ruby is. Probably the bathroom still.

I drive to school slowly and smoke outside next to my car until Toke shows up because I'm anxious. I finish two before he actually gets here to make me stop and then we head to class. "You're gonna reek up the whole room," he grumbles.

"You took forever."

"Why the hell did you come so early then?"

"I wasn't looking at the clock…". Usually I'm late. My parents have me on a really fucked up schedule now.

"Clyde was right. You're off lately. Wanna talk about it?" Token smirks.

"Jesus Christ, everybody's graduating and leaving and I'm probably gonna be stuck here with who? Mr. Garrison."

Toke laughs. "Even if you don't go to college, there's a lot of other things you could do or not do. Take a year off if you want. Your parents don't care, right?"

"They would say they don't but the whole time I was home not excelling in life, they'd be on my back about how I need a real job and to further my education," I say. "I don't wanna be stuck here either though. Fuck."

"Travel. You have a truck. Do you have any money saved?"

"Of course, I'm not an idiot. It's not a lot. I don't know if I could get my own place with it," I tell him.

He shrugs, "You should think about it. Don't do anything until you're sure, you know?"

"RAH!" Kenny pounces on us from behind. Neither of us react much.

"'Sup, Ken?"

"Hey," Kenny says with that winning smile.

"Hey guys," Clyde comes up from the other side, along with a storm of kids from the buses.

"What's new?"

"Craig's depressed we're all leaving," Token blurts out.

Kenny and Clyde burst out laughing and if I wasn't so pissed I'd probably blush or something stupid. "Are you gonna miss us, Craig?" Clyde laughs.

"Aw, Craig!" Kenny cries.

"You guys are so fucking annoying. I didn't say that."

"This is good. Craig's finally opening up."

"Maybe this is why I never do."

"I knew it," Clyde states. "You don't want me to go to Alabama either, right? You think it's stupid." I'm quiet. "If I already know, you can say it, Craig."

"I mean, I wasn't gonna tell you I think your dream school is stupid. It doesn't affect me where you go anyways."

"Still," he says. "I knew it bothered you, I just never could figure out why."

"Because it does affect him. Depending on where you go, decides if you guys will ever even see each other," Kenny says. "Distance puts strain on the relationship and then it's a test to see if you'll last. I get it. But hey, I still don't know if I'm going anywhere. It'll be you and me, Craig."

"I should apply to a college just because you said that," I tell him, dodging the first part of the sentence.

"You know this is hard on all of us. You should've said something," Clyde says.

I wanna argue it isn't hard on them because they both have full rides at great schools. They'll easily forget about us. "We should get to class," I suggest. The bell rings.

Clyde glares. "We'll talk about this later." If your attention span allows for it.

* * *

The day drags by and although it might be the longest day that's ever been dragged out for me, it didn't matter. Because after school and after boxing, Tweek and I are driving back to my empty house where it'll be just the two of us.

Fuck, wait, will it be weird?

"Where are your parents?" Tweek asks, looking around.

I set my bag down and start going through the kitchen to see if my mom left anything to eat. "Um, my dad is working and my mom and sister went to visit my grandma but I told her I have to work which is kinda true." There's a couple frozen pizzas. "Are you staying the night?"

Tweek's quiet. He's staring at our family portrait. It's old and the only one we've ever taken. The only one smiling is Ruby because she was really young. It wasn't a very good day and everyone besides her is expressing this.

"I might."

"Okay, well, let me know. I can drive you home whenever you want." Tweek continues his silence. "... Are you hungry?"

He shrugs. "Well yeah, we just worked out."

"Hey, lose the attitude. I'll make us a pizza."

"Your house isn't what I expected."

I rip the box open and pull off the plastic. "Huh?"

"I don't know why," he kinda chuckles which makes me feel better. I thought maybe he was getting too nervous but I could never read him as easily as he reads me. "I just thought you were kinda fucked up. Like broken family but your family actually looks really nice," he says. "I guess it still could be..."

"What makes you say that?" I shove the pizza in the oven. I'm only half listening so when I finish cleaning and stand up again I realize what he said and am confused.

"What part?"

"That you thought I came from a broken family and why you think it's not just from looking at our family portrait." It's not even a good one. None of us look like we're having a good time and we weren't. Except Ruby.

"Well, the way you act about your sexuality mostly but also your demeanor," he says. "But I don't know. It feels homey."

I grab the remote off the table and click on the TV. "What do you wanna watch?"

Tweek comes over, takes the remote from me and flops down on the couch. He starts clicking through Netflix and I sit next to him.

I check my messages.

Kenny and Clyde are asking if I wanna go to a party next weekend. I delete those notifications. Toke asks if we can hang out tomorrow and Stan asks if I can cover one of his shifts. I delete these too.

Tweek puts on some crime show and we silently watch while the pizza cooks. When the pizza's done, we eat in silence. It's not uncomfortable and it's not awkward. It's mildly weird, probably only to me but that's just because this is the first time he's been in my house. We eat and joke lightly until the show gets too boring to finish. It's almost like hanging out with the guys which is still frustrating because it shouldn't feel like this.

"You can head up to my room, I'm gonna clean the dishes," I tell him. "It's the last door." Tweek says alright and heads up. I clean every dish, even the ones that were previously in the sink. Maybe I'm stalling. I am excited but at the same time I'm pretty scared. A vulnerable scared. The worst kind.

What if I'm bad? What if he doesn't like it? What if he wants to top? What have I gotten myself into? Maybe I'm not ready...

The dishes are done so I'm literally just standing in the kitchen, not going upstairs at this point.

I take a deep breath.

In my room Tweek resides at my desk. Disinterested, he stares at his phone instead. He didn't even turn the light on. It's not completely dark yet but the sun's setting. I shut my door but leave the light.

"You look nervous," Tweek points out.

"You're not?" I ask him. "'Cause you sat pretty far from the bed." I sit on the edge of the mattress

He glares. "Shut up. I should be scared. What are you worried about? You have the easy part."

"It's not supposed to hurt that bad, you know. People wouldn't do it if it wasn't enjoyable. Think about that."

"I'm also sure there are people who like it and people who don't, Craig."

"What are you talking about? The prostate is literally a g spot. So, you're actually scientifically proven to enjoy it." Tweek groans frustrated. I just smirk and pat the spot next to me. "C'mere, you're so far." Tweek makes his way over and sits but he doesn't look at me. It's too dark to tell but I think he's blushing. I chuckle. That's cute. How can someone so vulgar, then turn around and be this sheepish.

I grab his face and take his lips with mine. We kiss for a while before I even slip in my tongue. He's acting so sweet, it's making me wanna be tender with him. I push Tweek back onto the bed gently. My heart pounds so hard in my chest, I wonder if I'll die.

He seems to be more reserved today too. I wonder what his reasoning is or if he's just following my lead.

I lean back and pull his shirt over his head and onto the floor in one swoop. That was actually kind of impressive. Tweek tugs on the bottom of mine so I toss it aside as well.

Now we're skin to skin. But this time, neither of us is drenched in sweat. Our circumstances before were so specific that now I'm noticing everything. How soft the bed is. How comfortable our position is (considering the crazy shit we've done). Having to undress Tweek in actual clothes. How nice he smells, since we're both fresh out of the shower. I nuzzle into his neck and hair. I leave several kisses and start a hicky. While doing this, I reach down to remove his shorts. I realize almost immediately that Tweek isn't wearing underwear. He should stop, he doesn't know what he's doing.

Impossible. This guy's impossible. How can you act like that? -Blushing so much and then you've been commando _this whole fucking time_!

I kiss him hard, grinding our lower halves together. He whines a little from the friction of my shorts but I don't care. I kiss down his neck to his collar. I flick my tongue over his nipple and take the other in my hand. I twist and pull.

" _Hah_ ," Tweek gasps a little, arching his back off the mattress. "Wait-" I bite down hard on his nipple. He lets out a cry that turns into a moan. I pepper kisses across his ribs, down his abs.

I kiss his hip, then his upper thigh, and then his inner thigh. "Stop it. This is weird-" he gasps as I take him in my mouth. I suck and lick and try to take him all in my mouth. I don't really know what I'm doing but I try to do whatever makes him react the most. My dream the other night made me realize that I've never done this for Tweek either. And I wondered if he ever had the same dream but vice versa. Tweek's hand grabs my head as I bob up and down. I get a little more each time I go down but it's more difficult than I thought. His fingers are gradually getting tighter which is turning me on just because he's pulling my hair. And because he sounds really erotic right now. "Cr- _nn_ \- _hah_ \- I'm c- _mm_!" And because Tweek has no self-control or ability to call when he's gonna climax, he comes down my throat and I spend the next minute coughing it up. I've never felt so disrespected in my life.

" _Fuck_ , Tweek," I manage.

"I'm sorry!" It's the first genuine apology I think I've ever received from him which is just salt in the wound. "It felt too good, I couldn't hold it." Alright, well, I'm hard again.

"It's fine," I dismiss it quickly, once the mood is back and lean in to kiss him again. Now, I wish I had turned on the light. So, I could see the feast laid out in front of me. I grab his thighs and lift them. I sit back to admire the view. Tweek covers his face with both hands. "This is…" he doesn't finish and I'm too dizzy to retain enough of what he said to realize he never finished. I find the lube and add a little to my fingers before slowly inserting one into Tweek. It's soft. I can't think. My heads hot. Fuck.

Tweek and I kiss again once it's all the way in

I prod and stretch Tweek and he has no real reaction to this. I use two fingers until I feel it's good enough and then I retract my hand. I grab Tweek once more and pull him into me roughly.

I undo my jeans and press myself against Tweek. He falls silent and shivers. "I'm gonna put it in."

Tweek doesn't responds to this, he just seems to brace himself. I slowly push-

"Wait!" he says, holding me by my chest.

It scares the shit out of me but I stop. "What?"

It's quiet long enough for me to put his legs down and sit back. By now I can only make out his shape in the dark. "Tweek." So, I wait for him to say something.

"I'm scared." I look for his face even if I can't see it. "I want to do it, I'm just scared."

My heart throbs a little bit. I lean back over him and smooth his hair back. "I wouldn't hurt you," I start. "I'll go slow and take it out if it hurts, I promise. Even if we don't actually do it tonight," I tell him, kissing the side of his face. "I don't want to do it if you aren't ready."

"I am," he insists. "But…" he mumbles something incoherently."

"What?"

"It's big, okay?! Is it even gonna fit?"

I start laughing. I can't help it. I lean into his shoulder and laugh. And I start to feel him laugh too.

"Shouldn't I do you since I have the more reasonably sized dick?"

"We flipped a coin," I remind him.

"I know," he grumbles. He sighs and turns his head to the side. "Okay, you can do it… be careful." Fuck. Cute. What are we doing? What's happening? This doesn't seem like the benefit sex. Shit.

I steady myself above Tweek. I push into him very excruciatingly slow. _Wow_. It's so tight and hot. My stomach tightens. I stay patient though, somehow. It goes in fairly smoothly and Tweek doesn't seem that uncomfortable. He trembles a lot but doesn't seem in pain and doesn't tell me to stop. Maybe the prepping actually worked.

We've gotten to the last bit. Both of us are sweating. Tweek's shaking and I'm trying to hold on to my rationality.

I give one finally thrust and I'm in. Tweek gasps and comes onto our stomachs.

It's quiet besides panting. I'm trying to adjust to the feeling. It feels _so good_. Once I do, I have to feel the semen on my stomach to believe it. "Did you come?" I ask.

"-he fuck- _hah_ -" he breathes out loudly, wrapping his arms around my neck and pulling me closer. I feel Tweek get tighter. "Feels so good- _hah_ -"

And with that encouragement I slide out push back into him. I'm kinda just testing how much I can do. I thrust a little harder into Tweek. He almost purrs at the impact, his toes curling. I plow into him again and again, slamming into him as hard as I can. I grab his thigh and raise his leg for a better angle. I imagine I'm hitting his prostate dead on. It's all I can think of because Tweek looks like he's on ecstasy right now. It's too much. He's so sexy, it's making me dizzy. I wonder if he knows the face he's making right now.

I grab him and flip him onto his stomach before ramming back into him.

Even doing this though he writhes and whines. I jack him off while thrusting and Tweek finally unravels. His body convulses as he comes _for the third time_. He digs into the sheets and then pants as he tries to catch his breath. I come almost right after him because I've been on edge this whole time and seeing Tweek so turned on has gotten to me.

I pull out and toss the condom before collapsing. Tweek's already asleep so I don't bother him. I'm pretty beat myself after boxing and _that_. I let myself fall asleep too, leaving cleanup and everything else to be dealt with in the morning.

Instead, I wake up three hours later. Unsurprisingly Tweek is gone. I simply roll over and take up as much space as I want to and try to go back to sleep. I don't want to be disappointed because this is something I expected anyways. I was just hoping…

I hear a door shut and then my door open. I don't look, just wait. Then,

"What the fuck. I was gone for like two minutes."

Tweek moves me back to my spot and gets in the bed. "Asshole," he mumbles, settling. I almost laugh but I hold it in because I want to try something. Once he stops moving I toss my arm over him and pull him into me. I want to seem like I'm still asleep and it's not entirely a lie. I mean I'm probably half-awake right now.

Tweek sighs heavily, adjusts slightly but doesn't remove me so we sleep like this.

* * *

 ** _PSA_**

 _Hello,_

 _I've decided to go back and revise the earlier chapters of this story; spelling, grammar, punctuation, and small continuity errors- shit like that. I thought I'd let you know because it might take some time but I need to go back into this story if I want it to end… well. _. You definitely don't have to go back and reread anything but I'm letting you know in case you want to..? And I dunno if FF sends emails that I've switched out chapters._

 _I try not to do many A/N in this story but communications important too. So why I'm here thank you so much for the support especially since I was gone for so long it really means a lot and I read every comment. If I'm making 1 person happier then that makes me really happy so thank you._


	15. Chapter 15

I've been lying in bed awake for a while now. We never closed the blinds so the sun shines straight onto my face. Tweek's curled into my chest, interestingly enough, considering how he reacted to me throwing my arm over him last night. It's fine. In fact, I'm happy about it. I didn't expect him to stay the night.

I think- ha no, wait, I know I really like Tweek. I _think_ I like him even more than that though.

How backwards. Before I had wished it was only Tweek I liked, but now I wish more that I just liked dudes. Because I do. I'm gay. Thinking back on it, it was a waste denying it. I knew the whole fucking time and denying it didn't make it go away. It was still quite prevalent, whether or not I decided to acknowledge it. I did the same thing when I started liking Tweek.

I always admired him. He didn't give a shit about me. He was so sure of himself even if he was smaller. To me that made him stronger than me even if I was bigger. And it didn't stop there, he was smart too, funny, independent, and beautiful. No matter what he did I couldn't take my eyes off of him, even giving myself away.

Last night he acted like that when I held him but now his legs are locked between mine, what's that about? Maybe I should start doing the opposite of what he says since he doesn't even seem to know what he wants. And most of the time I get my way as if it were his way the whole time. Just like this and just like when we first kissed. Everything's so contradicting with him. I always think is he doing it on purpose?

After all this… isn't this… I'm being stupid. Tweek was very clear that this was nothing. He just wanted to try it. Why does it even matter anyways? If we can spend time together like last night and I can hold him like this now, shouldn't that be enough? It's the same thing, if we were dating. I should just enjoy it while it last because anyways, he's leaving in a few months.

Tweek's phone starts ringing. I stiffen. Will he be mad if he wakes up and we're like this? Better pretend to sleep just in case. Tweek moans and rolls over. He reaches over to the nightstand and grabs his phone. " _Hello_?" His voice is scratchy from just waking up. It's hot and I'm annoyed that everything he does turns me on. "Sorry, I stayed at a friend's… _Craig's_ , mom. Wha- Never. Stop, that's never going to happen," he insists. "Did you actually need something? I was sleeping."

"I'm fine. Okay. Bye." He throws the phone across the room and turns back. I keep my eyes close. It's quiet for a while. I don't know what he's doing but I'm pretty sure he's not sleeping. He'll probably get up first. Or leave. That's how Tweek is.

"I'm pretty sure," he says, "that you're awake." I open my eyes and jump when he's right in front of my face.

"What the fuck. Creep."

"You were the one pretending to sleep," he laughs. "I was just testing if I was right and I was so I win."

"What did your mom want?"

"Well since she's _my mom_ , she wanted to know why I didn't come home last night." He sits up and stretches.

"You didn't tell her you were staying over?"

He rubs his eyes, "I didn't mean to but I fell asleep." Should this hurt my feelings or make me feel better? I won't think about it. Change the subject.

"So, how was it?" I ask hesitantly.

He blushes, "Asshole. Don't ask me that when the answer's already obvious."

"You looked like you were really enjoying it," I tease.

"It felt really weird, but then it was really, _really_ good," he admits.

"Like I was hitting your g-spot?" He glares at me. "I told you. Science."

"You're an idiot," he mumbles.

I shrug. "Are you hungry?"

"Yeah, but I want to take a shower first."

"Go ahead. Bathroom's the closest door to the stairs." He already knows this though. But he doesn't know I know this so I say it anyways. Tweek leaves. He doesn't even pick his phone back up. I wonder if it's fine. He threw it kinda hard.

Once Tweek's in the shower, I start breakfast. Something simple: bacon, eggs, and toast and if he doesn't like it then he can make his own goddamn food. I turn the TV on. I just want something stupid, something I can use as background noise- Red Racer reruns… sweet. I finish the bacon and the eggs and I'm waiting for the toaster when Tweek comes down. "I borrowed some clothes," he says. His hair is still dripping wet. Even though it's been recently cut it's still pretty long, covering his eyes. He's got some gym shorts from middle school and a T shirt tucked into them. It's obviously because the shirt's way too big otherwise. Adorable.

He walks over to the living room. "I didn't know they still played Red Racer."

"You watched Red Racer?" Too excited, reel it in.

He makes a face. "Wasn't really my thing but I remember you used to be obsessed with it."

My brow furrows. Oh, yeah. "I forgot we ever hung out as kids." The toast pops out and I set it on a plate. "You were way different back then."

"You were just the same," he says kinda backhandedly.

"Geez, sorry for whatever eight-year-old me did to you…" I put together a plate and bring it over to him.

"You didn't do anything. That's not what I meant."

"Breakfast's done."

"Thanks," he says, taking the plate but not looking at me. He's so weird.

"Don't worry about it. I'm gonna take a shower. Watch whatever you want."

"Hm," he picks up the remote.

There was a very small period of time in the fourth grade where Tweek hung out with us, minus Kenny. All I remember from back then was that he was so paranoid. I don't even associate the two Tweek's in my mind. Yeah, one time I think I touched him and he had a panic attack and had to have his mom come get him. I don't remember why he stopped hanging out with us. But I also don't remember when he changed so much either. I wonder if the two are related. If they were though and it were something bad that I did to him way back then, he wouldn't have done all this with me now though, right? Otherwise, that wouldn't make any sense. Unless, this is all a ploy. Some kind of sick revenge? But that doesn't make sense either. It just doesn't.

I take a quick shower and change into some comfort clothes. I wonder if the guys would remember anything about it. It'd be weird if I just suddenly asked them if they remember what Tweek was like in fourth grade. They're already extremely suspicious of me. I honestly don't think any of this is hard to figure out. One wrong move could trigger somebody realizing it. There's always one factor they never think about and it's Tweek. That I am actually going to practice. That I'm there the whole time. And then when I walk out of the gym, I have at least three fresh new hickys.

But as soon as you think about it, it makes too much sense. I honestly think I need to just tell them before they figure it out. But that's so much to think about right now. It's too bad Kenny wasn't in our group back then; he could've told me everything I wanted to know. Clyde's as reliable as a middle school social studies teacher and asking Token is… giving myself away.

"I thought you would suck at cooking," Tweek says.

"Well I can't suck at everything." He finished it all. I take his plate to the sink and then sit next to him. He's being uncharacteristically solemn. He's also still watching Red Racer even though he said he didn't watch it and he had the remote. I can't just ask him though. _Hey, everything okay?_ I wish I could just say that. He'd probably just get mad. I don't wanna push him away by being too clingy. He said it felt good so I don't think he'd just ghost me. He's probably going through his own shit. I'll leave him be.

Tweek and I hangout for a while just like that- watching Red Racer reruns in pajamas. We don't even really talk but having Tweek there was enough. It was weird and I don't know why he stayed. I want to stop questioning everything he does but his behavior makes it hard for me to give in. I feel like for sure, this is going to end bad because I got too attached.

When he does leave, his mom shows up randomly. I say randomly but I'm sure he had texted her and just didn't tell me. "I'll give your clothes back later," he says, vaguely.

"It's fine," I tell him. "Those shorts don't fit anyways."

"Mm," he glances at me. "Well. See ya."

I tell him bye and see him off.

Later when my dad comes home I help him cook dinner so it's done when my mom and sister get back. My mother's so pleased. It's nice. I like when my parents are happy like that. We all eat together in the dining room even though we never do that and then Ruby and I clean up so dad and mom can be together. Ew.

That night as I'm passing by the living room I see it's just my mom. She's watching her reality shows. I used to watch them with her when I was younger before I knew that it was something to be embarrassed about. "Hey," she greets with a smile. I nod.

"Where's dad?"

"He already went to bed."

"Why are you down here in the dark?"

She shrugs. "I'm about to head up too." I glance between her and the screen. "Do you wanna watch?" I sit down apprehensively. "C'mon, I'll play with your hair, like when you were little." She looks happy so even though I kind of don't want to, I lay down with my head in her lap. My mom runs her hands through my hair and it's really nice.

When did we ever do this and why did we stop? Fuck, I miss my mom.

"How're things?" she asks.

"What'd you mean?"

"I don't know," she says. "Anything."

"This is a trap," I chuckle. "Somehow this will tie back to school, college, my job, and or my mysterious girlfriend."

She laughs a little. "Okay Craig, but you could do a little better. One or the other. Finish school well. Don't do college, get a better job- at least look for one. Show some type of initiative for something."

"I'm still working it out."

"That's fine," she says. "But you never talk to us. And as for that girl… I'm sure you have your reasons and if you really think we won't like her then maybe we wouldn't…"

"It's not serious," I mumble.

"Yeah, that's what you say," she says. "But how could it not be? It's been at least a year."

"Does it really upset you that much?"

"It upsets me that you keep it from us," she says.

I bite my cheek. "Okay," I say. "What would upset you the most about her? What do you think is the reason I won't tell you."

"This is childish Craig," she sighs but still continues. "I guess... if she were significantly older or younger than you."

I shake my head a little. "We're the same age."

"Or," she thinks. "If she was a clear bad influence on you... which is what I think it is since your grades dropped, you started partying, and now this not choosing college nonsense."

"Not a bad influence, better grades than me probably, and doesn't party."

"Are you lying?" She wonders. "'Cause, what are we even talking about anymore, Craig?"

I just wanted to see what she would say. What my mom is thinking. Because if I won't tell her, she's thinking the worse and if the worse is actually worse then I can tell her and she won't care as much because at least Tweek and I aren't running around committing crimes. Right?

"What if... she was a he?" I whisper. Even though we're the only ones down here I'm so scared somebody will hear from upstairs. I can't believe I even just said that to my mom.

My mother gets quiet and stops playing with my hair. I get super nervous. But when I glance up at her, my mom is staring at the TV with a stupid smile on her face.

Her hand starts running through my hair again. "Then," she starts. "I'd wonder why you kept him from us all this time." It's what I knew. It's exactly what I knew she'd say. But it still makes me feel warm.

Ha, what did I think?

Worried about nothing...

Fuck...

I turn my face so my mom's skirt absorbs my tears. It isn't long before I'm mildly sobbing. My mom just rubs my arm to soothe me but it feels like it's doing the opposite. "I will always love you, Craig. No matter what. Please don't forget that."

* * *

 _Don't know if this is good enough to post. I've rewritten it so many times it's fucking ridiculous. You have no idea many versions of Craig and Tweek's morning after I have saved. Like at least 4. I almost gave up and skipped it but it was important. to the story... also I'm gonna assume 333 equals three hearts with out the pac man mouth symbol. and if so the you too man hope you're doing swell! This scene with Craig's mom really fucked me up. bye_


	16. Chapter 16

"Smoking kills, you know?"

I jump, startled. It's Tweek. The last person I expected to approach me smoking at my car before class. "Why do you always have to sneak up?"

"Why aren't you ever paying attention?" He counters. "What is that?"

I glance at the cup in my hand. "Coffee."

"Oh," he says. He takes it out of my hands and starts drinking. He doesn't hand it back.

"You're in a good mood."

"I'm really not," he disagrees. "If I'm at school I'm not in a good mood."

"Fair enough." I don't even bring up that he's talking to me at school. I don't know what's happening really but I don't mind it so what does it matter? "How are you... feeling?"

Tweek snorts. "You're not that big, Craig. I'm fine."

I mean I beg to differ but, "I don't know how that shit works. You might be sore after." I also meant mentally but Tweek would never talk about that. I just thought since he's talking to me at all

"Nah, I'm fine."

"Tweek," I start.

"I don't like where this is going."

You probably won't. "I was wondering if you're gay." It's what I was gonna ask him in the classroom before Lau came back.

Tweek's quiet for a long time, just sipping my coffee while I smoke. He finally sighs heavily and shrugs. "That's a loaded question."

"As in you don't know or it'd take a while to explain?"

He shrugs again. "Maybe both." Of course, he isn't gonna just come out and say it. But if he did I'd have felt a lot better.

"Why are you asking me that? Are you gay?"

I shrug, "As far as I know." It's the most straight forward I've been about this but who else could I be this forthcoming with? No point in lying to Tweek. He knows I'm at least bi at this point and I'm not bi.

"We don't usually talk about this."

"We don't usually talk," I point out.

"How long have you known?"

"I think I always knew. I just think it wasn't relevant until I met you." Fuck that came out weird.

He's quiet some more. I doubt there's really any coffee left in that thing but then again I've been milking this cigarette too just to have something to do so it seems less awkward. "So thanks a lot asshole."

Tweek laughs at this. A nice laugh. Sometimes it hurts to look at him. It hurts more actually having him around in the day. I wish he'd stop and go away.

"Fine. If you wanna get sentimental then you were definitely an awakening for me too. I just don't know if it's all guys or just you."

I almost can't believe my ears when I glance to Tweek again he's completely flush and turned away. "I take it back," he says. "Sounds so gross when I say it with my voice."

"Nah, sounds nice." I kiss Tweek just to see if he'll let me and he does. I made sure no one was around but would he know that? "Though I've heard you sound better."

"Geez, pervert. That didn't take long for you to make sexual."

"I love how innocent you try to act. Like you're not a pervert, if not a bigger one than me," I say. "Aren't you like, a masochist or something?"

Tweek looks appalled. I think I went too far with that one. "Aren't you like, a sadist or something?" He shoots back. Touché.

The bell rings in the distant and we start walking towards the main building. "You smell really bad," he says. "You don't get in trouble for smelling like cigarettes?"

"At school or at home?" He shrugs. "Most of my teachers already know I smoke and I don't really notice when I smell anymore so I guess they just don't care. And I try not to get caught at home."

"Hm," he says. "They probably know," he decides. And he's probably right. "When did you start?"

"I had my first cigarette when I was twelve but I really started smoking the summer after sophomore year. I used to hang out with assholes. Like real assholes."

"It's gross. You smell bad, you taste bad, and you have burn holes in your sweatshirt." He sticks his finger in one to emphasize. "And some of your shirts too," he adds.

I just kinda stare at him. "They help with my stress," I tell him.

"There's so many alternatives, Craig. I have to go." He turns to go to his class.

Shit, I'm gonna have to quit. For real this time. I've been told this same shit a million times by literally everybody. But Tweek's the only one who had any points I actually care about. Him. I never thought about how it would taste for Tweek. Since he never said anything I didn't think he even knew but he has been in my car.

Are we closer now because we fucked? Is that how Tweek feels? Is that why he's acting like this? If so, that's great but then, _are we dating_ or together or whatever? If we're friends and we're having sex doesn't that equal a relationship? I run my hands down my face. It doesn't 'cause we're both guys.

What if this is just a test run for him? He said himself he didn't know. But he seems so sure. Does he act sure because I act sure? Because I am. I think about this stuff all the time against my will even. I know I'm into dudes, I always have if I'm being honest. I just tried not to think about it for as long as I could. And even more than that, I know I'm into Tweek. I'm still not willing to admit just how much though. I don't know if I even know.

 _I just don't know if it's all guys or just you_. What the hell does that mean? That he wants to try someone else to see if it still works? So, he's into girls too then? Is he still hooking up with girls… to feel masculine? Is this stuff I should be thinking? Am I selfish? Is it okay… for me to want more? How's this never come up before? How've we been maintaining this for this long? At what point did I start liking him? It was before we kissed and before I starting having wet dreams about him.

I think-

I run into the door because I didn't turn the handle fast enough. It's embarrassing but I pretend to look unbothered. Clyde and Kenny are a riot in the back of the room, having witnessed the whole thing which just shines more light on it. People snicker at me as I make my way to my seat.

"Good morning, Walking Cancer Cloud."

"Good morning, Token."

"Was your head high too strong? Is that why you ran into the door."

"Keep attacking me and I'm gonna sit with Testaburger."

Token laughs, "And that's punishing who? Me or you?"

"Wendy would only hound you more," Clyde says. "But yeah, bro. Quit smoking. It's not cool. You reek."

"Yeah, you're right." They all gasp. "What?"

"For real? I mean- Of course, I am right."

I give my current pack to Token. "I don't want them anymore. Seriously. I'm done."

Everyone gets serious when I hand him my lighter as well. "That easy? What happened, man?"

"It was the door," Kenny says. I agree with him. But then he retracts his statement looking thoughtful. "No," he says. "It was probably The Mystery Lady. Things are starting to get serious. She probably found out he smokes which is weird that she didn't know since I was assuming her to be older."

"Oh, so she didn't like it?" Clyde asks.

"Kenny's pulling shit out his ass. They're just starting to make me sick. And my mom doesn't want me to anymore."

"Haha, now we listen to what our moms' say?" Kenny asks. "Okay. I need a haircut, a decent young lady, and a steady path for the future."

"That makes sense," Token says. "The part about Craig quitting over a girl, not the part about Craig lying."

"What?"

"Yeah, dude, you lie all the time so I don't wanna hear it."

Damn, I am readable. I groan. "I'm tired. I'm going to sleep."

"Where's your coffee?"

For a brief second I think _he's right_ and _where did I leave it?_ But then I chuckle and put my head down. I'm gonna have to tell the guys soon. I need to figure out how.

* * *

 _I've been really depressed for a while but writing this story now and seeing your wonderful reviews is really nice. Thanks._


	17. Chapter 17

The class I have before lunch let out early so I head out to get a burger. I don't have the guys in that class which is the only reason I ended up by myself. But it's not like I can afford being late or missing another class, so I'm back with plenty of time. I had planned to meet the guys in the cafeteria but on my way over something catches my eye- or more someone.

Someone who never seems to fail to catch my eye. "Hey," I set my food down before sitting.

Tweek glances at me and then continues to eat. He brought his own lunch today. "Friends piss you off again?" he wonders, bored.

"Nah," I say. "Just wanted to eat with you." He's quiet. "You okay?" He nods but doesn't seem to be. "Want some fries?" I push them between us. Tweek doesn't respond, just takes some. I wonder what could've happened between this morning and now that has him like this. "How come you're eating outside?"

"It's nice out today," he says, simply. Now that he mentions it, it is a beautiful day. It's been so shitty lately but the sun's out and there's only a few clouds. The skies a bright blue. "Here." He hands me my coffee cup. It's empty, looks rinsed out even. I don't say anything though, just put it away.

 _Thump, thump, thump._

Stop it. I take a deep breath.

"Hey," Tweek says. "What's been up with coach?"

Lately coach has been harder on me in practice and workouts. He thinks I'm really gonna go for this but we haven't talked about it again. "He wants me to take on boxing," I take a bite of my burger. "He's crazy."

"I've thought about it," Tweek admits.

"Really?" I say. He nods. "I didn't think I was good enough for something like that."

"Well, you'd have to take it seriously, if you were gonna do it but you could," he says. "You said it before like you really didn't want to but now it seems like you're interested."

"Tsk, I don't really have any plans anyways. If I'm good at boxing-"

"But is it what you wanna do?"

I stop eating and glance at the bushes. "How should I know?"

"Hm, you are stupid."

"I'm young and you're an asshole."

"Whoa," Tweek chuckles. "What _do_ you wanna do? Before you said you were taking a year off."

"When did I say that?"

"When we were talking to coach." I stare at him. "…The time we almost got caught?"

"Oh yeah, I was so thrown off I must've just been talking…" Tweek looks embarrassed. "I didn't think you were lying, I just didn't remember," I try to explain but he shoves my face away. "It's more like I don't know what I want to do but I don't wanna just do anything. I wanna wait until I figure it out. So, if that takes a year and I decide to go to school then I might. But boxing…" I shrug, "wasn't a factor before. But if I'm good and I can get paid to do it. That might be a good thing for right now…"

"Hm," Tweek hums. "You'd have to move."

"What about you?" I ask abruptly. "What are you doing after High school?"

"Leaving."

"And going where? To do what?"

"Anywhere else and doesn't fucking matter."

"What the hell is that? You lectured me and you don't even know yourself."

"Yeah, whatever. _I_ know what I'm doing. Fuck you."

"That's cryptic and creepy, Tweek."

"I hate it here," he says. "I hate the people, the town, the air, the- the fucking ants. I wanna be somewhere else- _Anywhere_ else. This place sucks," he rants. "I feel like I can't be happy here. So first I'm gonna leave, and then I can figure the rest out."

That still doesn't make any sense. I can tell it's not something he wants to talk about. I don't really know what to say. It's quiet. I don't think I'm helping his mood at all.

"How're your classes?" Tweek only looks at me. "Mine? Oh, they're fine. I mean, I'm passing. Most of my teachers are nice enough to not fail me as a senior," I tell him. I decide that I'll talk and if he really wanted me to leave, Tweek's not one to hide that. He'd tell me flat out to go away. "Except for Board. He hates me and I'm shit at science. I think he's trying to motivate me or something but he's got it all wrong. The problem's not motivation, I don't give a shit about a slip of paper reminding me I wasted all this time." He still doesn't say anything. Did I piss him off? He doesn't look angry. He's pissing me off. "Oh, yeah you get tutored, so not so good, huh?" Tweek shoots me a glare. "And by Butters so it had to have been bad. Is Butters even smart?" He grimaces at the name and I laugh.

"Fuck you, asshole. Some of us actually wanna do well too!" I laugh at his outburst. "I think I hate him the most. He's so annoying. Fuck."

"What's he tutoring you in?" I ask.

"Math," he says.

"Calc?"

"Mhm."

"We could study together. I'm not worried about how I'm doing but if I had someone to study with-"

"Would that even be worth it now? It's so late in the year. We're practically d-"

"That's not an excuse." The bell rings. Shit. He looks a little taken back. I didn't mean to cut him off like that but he did it first and he's starting to piss me off seriously. I take my things and stand. "Think about it," I tell him. This whole time has been okay but if he isn't gonna talk about what's wrong he can't have an attitude about it all lunch. Though, I did invite myself. Still… "But be direct with an answer when you decide. At least know why you don't want to." If he's getting tutored, wouldn't it be worth it? That's what I should've said.

"It wouldn't help anyways to study with you," he says, standing up too.

I'm actually pretty good at calculus. "I'm passing by myself at least." That is to say, I'm better than he is.

Tweek pushes my face away again and snatches the remainder of my milkshake. "Whatever." I was barely drinking it. I can't eat too much sweet stuff all at once. Hm, he can have it and think he's won… if it makes him feel any better.

Did I try to cheer him up and get pissed off instead?

I find the guys and I already know what's coming. "Where were you now?" Token asks, disinterested.

Before I can answer Ken responds, "He ate lunch with Tweek." I'm shocked, I don't say anything. I can't even ask how he knew. The way he said it- but then Kenny says, "I saw you guys when I went to the vending machine. Out back at the picnic tables."

"Oh… yeah… ha." But there's something about the way Kenny says this. There's something about the way he delivered it all together. If he knew where I was, why didn't he tell the guys already? Maybe I'm being paranoid. How would he have found out from this morning to now? And me eating with Tweek is not a big deal, we box every day. It's safe for someone who knows that to assume we're friends. And friends eating lunch together isn't strange.

"Anyway Jenna's parents are out for the weekend, bro. There's gonna be a sick party. We're going," Clyde says.

"Okay," I say. "Have fun."

He throws his arm around my neck and pulls me in. "And you're coming too!"

"Ugh, Clyde, no. You know how I feel about parties."

"We're gonna pregame!" he assures me.

I groan, trying to get his arm off. "C'mon, I don't wanna get in trouble again. I think my parents would actually kill me."

"Tell them you're sleeping over Token's then! C'mon, before we all have to leave, right?" He does his ugly ass puppy dog face and I agree just to make him stop. It doesn't work! I just don't like looking at it.

"Fine, asshole, I'll go."

He and Kenny cheer and he starts giving me a noogie. I sock him in the stomach and he goes down. Which turns out shit for me, since Ken and I have to carry him to History after.


	18. Chapter 18

**Last Friday**

 _Whoa._

 _Wait, what time is it? I sit up and look around the dark room. Augh, my mouth is so dry. It's nearly pitch black and I never saw it in the light so I don't know where anything is. So annoying. Craig snores. I glance at his sleeping form. It's too dark though, all I can see is the highlight of his skin from the moon coming through the window. He's naked. I blush and cover my face. I can't believe we did that._

 _I thought it would suck and he'd take it out and then we'd just go back to what we've been doing but when it felt_ that _good… I don't know, I said something weird. But fuck, it felt so good I cried. I can't believe I let him do that._

 _It doesn't make any sense! His fingers were always just tight and weird. I didn't like it at all but this was_ nothing _like that. This made my stomach feel like it had been set on fire. Oh, my God, how many times did I come? What the fuck? Why'd it feel so good?! Isn't he a virgin too? I wonder if Craig liked it? I wonder if he liked it as much as I did? I should've used fingers on myself. It was so tight_. I can't believe we did that _._

 _I really have to pee. Where's the bathroom? Where's my phone? God, I can't see shit. It wasn't too messy though, I think. I stumble around a little bit. I search the ground for my bag and pull out two things. I use one (my phone) to light up my path out of the room. I shine it at Craig just to see his sleeping face for real and then I head into the hallway. I check the first door I see. It's pink inside. Okay, hello, sister. Goodbye, not what I needed._

 _What about this one? I peek in. Nope. I shut the door. This is weird. I'm snooping around his house! I take a deep breath. I'm just looking for the bathroom. It's not like I can wake him up for something like that. It has to be one of these fucking doors. I pull open another one. Towels. Jesus fuck. Why are there so many rooms anyway?_

 _It's of course the last door I check at the end of the hall. I can finally turn the light on and regain my vision. I look so gross. This is so embarrassing. I was supposed to go home last night now it's… I check my phone… three in the morning._

 _I have to stay. It's not a big deal really, I just_ really _didn't want to sleep with him. I didn't want the sex to be good either. I pee and then I wash my hands. I go ahead and wash my face too. After that, I pop open the little orange pill bottles I grabbed from my bag. I pour out each one in my hand. Two, one, one._

 _I head downstairs and flick on the kitchen light. I search through cabinets to find a cup and fill it with water chugging it. How unlike me to let myself get this dehydrated. But he always manages to distract me. I look around. It's weird being in his house like this. It feels too intimate. This is why I don't want him at my house. And if he ever talked to my parents it'd be over. It's not like he's my boyfriend. I dump the pills into my mouth and swallow them down with some more water._

 _That's a lot better. It would've been bad tomorrow if I hadn't woken up to take them and maybe now I can sleep._

 _I head back to the room and put my medication away carefully. I put my phone down on the nightstand and notice that Craig's sprawled across the mattress in the most obnoxious way. "What the fuck? I was gone for like, two minutes." He has to be fucking with me?_

 _But he doesn't react to my talking at all and his eyes aren't moving. Hm. I gently nudge him back to his spot. "Asshole," I mumble, settling back into bed. My voice must've stirred him again because he tosses his arm over me. I'd say he was awake and really was fucking with me but Craig's still breathing heavy. Maybe this is fine._

 _If we're gonna sleep together anyways and we did have sex. It's not like I can control what I do in my sleep and if he's throwing his arm over me like this then I can do that too and it should be fine… But, I'm scared. What if he really is awake and then it'll just be really embarrassing._

 _So, I wait a few minutes. I just want to make sure he's really asleep again. I'm talking REM cycle, preferably in the middle of a deep dream, after a loud snore (because holy fuck does Craig snore)... and I'll just flip over to face him._

 _Oh, he really is asleep. He's too good looking. Too bad he knows it. Look at how long his eyelashes are. It must be nice-_ to have eyelashes _. I only like him because he looks like this. Anyone would like him. How lame am I?_

 _And because of that I agreed to an arrangement like this. And because of this sex-based relationship, Craig's misinterpreting his feelings. He thinks he likes me. I chuckle quietly. That's not real though. We don't even know each other. He can't argue with me about it either. He probably doesn't even know my birthday and I only know his because I'm a creep._

 _Yeah, I would never let that happen. He's so stupid but it makes sense knowing him. So readable. He was confused and I guess I was his type. I wasn't confused, I just wanted to bone. And since Craig, contrary to popular believe, is really a little bitch, he thinks he's falling for me because he likes my dick. That fucking asshole._

 _He doesn't like me, he's just excited. And I don't like him, I just think he's hot. This kind of thing we're doing now is okay. And I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to do…_ that _again. But that's all it is. Just sex. I shoot under the blanket more, snuggling into his chest. Yep, just sex._

 _He's really out. He looked really tired though. He smells so good. Like Craig and sex. God, I love this smell. I wish we could go again right now._

 _It's not fair that I feel this way about someone like him. I don't even care that I'm gay, but why did it have to be Craig? Why'd he have to walk through those doors that day coach said he found me a partner? If it'd just been anybody else, this never would've happened._

 _My deluded emotions just because I had a crush on him back when we were kids. Those feelings, much like these derived from a place of ignorance and naivety. I shouldn't worry about that stuff now. I wouldn't let that happen again, no matter how stupid he acts._

 _I should just enjoy this until we graduate. It's better this way. Too much sweet shit and we'll get attached to each other for no reason. It was bad timing and anyways, I'm not giving Craig that kind of leverage. He could turn around and decide to be with whoever he wanted tomorrow and then I... It's too dangerous. Why should I give_ anyone _an opportunity to hurt me? This way, we both get something out of it and don't have to deal with that. What we do now works so what would be the point in complicating it? This shit gives me anxiety._

… _He gives me anxiety. I sigh._


	19. Chapter 19

My mom keeps trying to talk to me more about... Well, you know. I've been successfully dodging her up until this point. It's been easy. We can only talk about it whenever everyone else is either gone or asleep which means morning or night which I can say I'm leaving for school or pretend to be asleep.

I know I'm an asshole or whatever but I don't want to talk about it yet. I've said all I had to say and she should respect that. How can I even talk about Tweek when we aren't together? Is it right for me to tell her if I'm the only one who knows he's gay? I have to know what I'm gonna tell her first. I don't have to tell her anything but I should still talk to her at least.

As for Tweek, I knew that when Coach said he'd be coming to open the gym for us now, we wouldn't be able to mess around in the gym anymore. I just don't understand how that didn't fully register at the time. It didn't fully register because here we are at the end of the week and we haven't done anything since we had sex on Friday.

I think I lasted a good minute. For a whole day, it hadn't even crossed my mind. And I attribute that to Tweek's bizarre behavior recently. I've been distracted… still by him, but in a different way. Then it donned on me after I got home from practice that he didn't catch a ride. I was too distracted to notice. I hardly remembered practice at all. Just that coach was being especially annoying and pushing me harder. He should focus that energy towards Tweek, who might want to do this and would actually be good at it.

After that I couldn't stop thinking about it. I want to do it again with him but I don't even know what to do with that. Tweek hasn't said anything and I don't wanna seem pushy. But he liked it, so he'd want to, right? Then again, isn't he the type to say something then? If he really wanted to again, he'd just do it.

We have to find a new place to do things and that's a problem too. He probably doesn't want to bother. Wouldn't this be the perfect opportunity to finally end this? He said he didn't know about his sexuality and he also said we were never exclusive, with no intention of becoming so. Maybe there was someone else. It's very possible there's been other people this whole time. How lame would I look coming up to him desperate when he's been fine?

To top everything off, I quit smoking too.

"And that was just the second quarter-"

"Fuck! I don't care! Why do you keep talking?" This must be the third time I've told this jackass to shut up. I've got enough going on without him being a fucking annoying prick.

"I'm talking about _your_ best friend asshole!"

"And guess what?" I ask him. "I still don't give a shit. I know this is like, blowing your mind but I _enjoy_ it when nobody's talking."

Somebody enters the store and we hush our bickering. They buy a pack of cigs and I stab myself in the eye. Not really but it might make me feel better if I did. "Oh," Stan says knowingly. "Clyde mentioned you were quitting. He specifically mentioned that it was serious this time."

"Well, look at you, Stan. You just know fucking everything, don't you?"

"You could just be my friend since all of our friends are friends and we've known each other our whole lives."

"I seriously," I take a deep breath in, "hate you," I exhale. "Maybe, on a really good day if you let me punch you in the face. Actually, you should just let me punch you in the face."

"…" Stan starts and then just chooses to walk away. Thank you. I can finally-

"Craig! We came to pick you up!" Clyde is suddenly leaning over the counter right in my face. It startles me but I'm used it by now, since I'm always zoned out. Toke and Kenny trail into the store behind him. They both greet me.

"How are you gonna pick me up if I drove here?"

"I'll ride with you and Kenny can ride with Toke," he says, blatantly. "C'mon, Craig, use your brain." Clyde taps my forehead. This might actually be a good idea.

"How is that you picking me up?" I ask. "I'm still working and I'm boxing today."

Clyde groans loudly and annoyingly. "You're no fun anymore!"

"Wasn't it _you_ who was so sad about us leaving?" Kenny chimes in.

Now I groan. They're double teaming. "Why are you even still doing that?" Clyde says. "What's the point?"

"God forbid I have interests."

He rolls his eyes. "Okay, fine. But you're always working or boxing like it takes up all your time. I play football and see the guys more than you."

"Don't make me out to be an asshole, asshole. It's not like I'm doing it on purpose."

"Then hang out with us, just a little. You're shifts almost over and you can miss a day of boxing."

It's not like anything's gonna happen today worth showing up for. And it could take my mind off things to just relax with my friends. I sigh again, "Alright," I submit. "Let me finish and clock out." Clyde and Kenny cheer.

"Hey man, we're supposed to be closing today."

"Yeah," I say. "You got it though, right? Friends help friends, right?" I pat Stan on the shoulder. Clyde and Kenny agree in the background.

"They do."

"I would."

"Friends help friends."

"All the time."

"You got it, man."

Stan huffs and rolls his eyes. "Okay," he says. "I finally get it. You're actually an asshole. We're not friends. I'll stop being nice to you."

I laugh, "Aw, don't say that. Our friendship was finally blossoming!" I clock out.

Clyde and I get in my truck. It's almost awkward but we're best friends… It has been a while. The last time we hung out was when we went to the gym and we barely talked because we were working out. Besides that, I don't really know. I can't remember exactly.

"I've never even seen you box," he says. He's quiet. "That's kinda lame. You've seen most of my games." Guess we're having similar thoughts. But Clyde doesn't blame me. He's too good a guy but it's my fault.

"It's different, isn't it?" I never really thought about it. Boxing was never for show and I never thought I was any good.

He gasps, "We should come and watch you!"

I shrug. "We box like every day so you can come whenever you want, though it's not that interesting." Especially since coach is there every time now. It doesn't matter if they show up now. Tweek will enjoy being able to beat me up in front of my friends too. If I'm lucky I'll be able to keep up. Sounds like fun honestly. And I've been thinking recently of how to introduce Tweek to the guys. I think he'd like them.

We pull into Token's driveway. Toke and Ken are already parked and inside. "I don't think his parents are home," Clyde says as we walk in.

"Hey, we're gonna watch Craig box!" Clyde announces. "Isn't it weird none of us have?"

Token's in the kitchen, making a sandwich and Kenny's on the couch. "Yeah, you're right," Token says. "It's not like he competes though."

"There's nowhere for him to do that here anyways," Clyde says. "We're gonna go next week," he decides. "Are you gonna do it after you graduate?" he asks me.

I shrug. "Probably not."

He turns back to Token. "Then we gotta go to see. At least before he retires, right?"

"Oh, I'm so down for this," Kenny says, excitedly. I don't really want Kenny to meet Tweek because I know how fast he'll be able to tell but something makes me think he might already have caught on. The way he doesn't outright say it, makes me so uneasy. "I'm betting on Tweek, for sure," he says.

"No way," Clyde says. "Craig's bigger. He'd totally have the upper hand no matter what." Clyde holds his fist up to me and I bump it with my own, expressionless.

"Dude, twenty bucks!"

"Okay! What about you, Toke? Who are you betting on?"

Token shakes his head. "I wouldn't bet on any of you idiots."

"Aw, Token!"

I finally let out a laugh and head to the living room to sit with Kenny. Clyde follows and then Token with food. "Does sound interesting. Are you good?"

I shrug, "Apparently, to some degree."

"What about Tweek? Is he good?"

I hum. "We're pretty evenly matched. That being said, he is smaller than me so it's kinda impressive." He's pretty impressive.

"Cool," Token says. He turns the TV on.

"That's scary," Clyde says after a while. "Tweek was already scary the way he glares at everyone and never really talks. Knowing he can also kick my ass…" He shivers.

"You don't even know," I chuckle. Then a lightbulb. "Way different than when we were kids."

Clyde starts laughing while Token says, "Oh, my God, yeah."

"He was going to the office every other day for panic attacks back then," Kenny says. I don't know if he knows Tweek hung out with us at some point and that's really what we're talking about.

"He was so fucking annoying back then!" Clyde wheezes. "He was hilarious too though."

"Wow, he really changed a lot… He's like a different person. When did it even happen?" Token asks.

"He was like that when we start boxing in middle school already so…" I shrug. "I barely even remember it."

"God, I remember," Clyde says. "All the screaming and crying."

Kenny looks between us. "What?"

"Tweek hung out with us for a while in like… third grade or something. It wasn't long. Like a month or something."

"What happened?"

Token thinks. "I don't… remember… We got in trouble," he says. "Well, I'm sure it was Clyde and Craig and I just got in trouble too."

Clyde starts laughing again. "Since Craig and I didn't really like him, we would mess with him," he tells Ken. "It was good stuff, man."

"That's terrible, we did that too," Kenny laughs.

"Are you serious?"

"Yes!" He says. "Cartman told me about it when Tweek used to hang out with them. But that was probably worse than hanging out with you guys."

My stomach kind of feels gross. "I remember him getting picked up early one time because he was freaking out," I mention.

"Yeah," Clyde says. "That's why he wasn't allowed to hang out with us anymore." He starts laughing again. "Oh, man, that was the best one," he remanences. "You licked your hand and got him to hold it and he flipped."

Token disagrees. "That's not what happened."

"Yes, it is," Clyde insists. "You wouldn't know. Like we would've told you, Toke, you were always snitching."

"'Cause you assholes were always getting me in trouble. And Tweek was a germaphobe. He wouldn't eat at my birthday even when we got catering, he wouldn't go on playgrounds," Clyde raises his eyebrows expectantly. "Why would he hold Craig's hand, if he wouldn't even drink from a cup at my house."

Clyde shrugs, "I don't fucking know. Convincing him took a while but that made it even funnier when he actually did it. By then he probably didn't trust us much anyways. But I'm telling you that's what happened."

"Then he started crying and his mom had to come and she was _soo_ pissed!" He laughs some more. "Ha, you were a bad kid, Craig." Huh… I don't remember this at all. Still, I doubt Tweek is holding it against me. It makes more since what he said earlier though. This is why I can't argue with him when he calls me stupid…

"Meeting him again will be fun," Kenny says. "I've never been able to approach him. Mostly because I hung out with those guys and I knew he probably really hated them."

"True," Clyde says.

I stare at them. I really hope these fuckers aren't planning on harassing him like before. I don't know how that would even go down- not good for sure. I think Tweek would stand his ground but I'd kick both their asses before anything else. I don't want to say that now though, I'm sure it'd be weird.

Geez, now I don't think they should meet.

"Yeah," Token says. "He's a lot tamer. He's kinda like Craig from middle school."

"What the hell does that mean?"

"Grouchy and misunderstood," Kenny answers and they all start laughing. I eventually laugh a little too. It's true. My stupid depressed closeted self- Wait, that's me currently too.

"Whatever. Let's watch something."


	20. Chapter 20

"Coach, I need a break."

"You need to lay off the burgers, Craig," he corrects me. I gap and hear Tweek snicker in the background. "C'mon, you can keep going."

I swear and take a deep breath. "How much more? You're not making Tweek do anything!"

"No matter how grown y'all look you still act like children," he laughs. "I didn't tell Tweek to do shit but look at him- working hard." Tweek sticks his tongue out and flips me off. "So don't worry about Tweek. Worry about yourself."

"I can't," I tell him. "I'm taking a break."

"You're weak!" He shouts. "How old are you? My friends and me go longer than this without a break!" Oh, my God. I'm not your stupid friends! "If you take a break when you feel like you need it, you don't get stronger."

"Fine!" I snap. "Let's go."

 _Whap, whap, whap_! Hit, duck, hit, shuffle.

Coach and I hit for a little while more, working on the same combo he taught me earlier this week. Finally, he lets me go. I don't bother working out. They act like this is normal but fuck, this is too much. And he's not making Tweek do shit. If I was just running or lifting the whole time, it'd be way easier.

Tweek comes over laughing. "Done already?"

"I can still definitely fight you again and kick your ass so you should just keep quiet over there."

"Pretty sure, _I_ kicked your ass," Tweek corrects. "Is always telling yourself that you're winning, how you handle the insane amounts of loss you get?"

I scoff, "Go away."

Coach laughs at us. "Hurry and get dressed so I can leave then, if you're done."

As we're getting dressed I ask Tweek if he wants a ride. He says yeah in a weird way. I could tell since we were fighting he's been pissed off. I just assumed at first it was his general pissed off but now I think he's pissed off at me.

"Alright, Coach, we're out!" I call.

"You boys get home safe!"

We walk to my car quietly. We get in and buckle up. I drive us to his house and he still doesn't say anything. "Turn here," he says. Because I wasn't expecting it, the turns sharp. Considering that though, he did give me pretty ample time to make it.

"Where are we going?"

He still doesn't say anything. We drive down a dirt wooded road instead of his neighborhood. It looks like a neighborhood but these houses are spaced out farther. "Pull over here." I do as he says and he reaches over and turns the truck off.

He lifts the center console and mounts me. "What're you-"

He kisses me aggressively. He bites my lower lip, then going for my ear, biting that too. He's mad. "What the fuck?! I can't take this anymore. I hate him. Why's he gotta be there _every_ time? And then you didn't even come yesterday. All because you couldn't remember to lock the damn door."

"Sorry."

"Yeah? Well, now where are we supposed to do this?"

"You still want to do this?"

Tweek pauses and sits back. Then we're just kinda are quiet for a while. "Don't you?"

"I do," I tell him surely. "I just thought since you said it didn't mean anything… and you didn't know if you're even into guys." What I'm trying to say is that I didn't think Tweek would have wanted to keep going, considering all the trouble it'd be sneaking around now that we can't use the gym. Besides that, we're so close to leaving anyways. But instead I said that stupid shit making it seem like his fault and then adding, "It's not like we're in a relationship."

But Tweek has no reaction. He's thoughtful for a moment before deducing, "We should review our terms."

More silence. It's kinda a warm night and Tweek's still planted in my lap. Doesn't look like he wants to move either. This looks like a long conversation. We haven't done anything for so long, I feel extra sensitive to him. I shouldn't be turned on right now. I need to pay attention now more than ever. Don't let him distract you.

Maybe if I don't look into his eyes. His eyelashes are so long. Damn, he's pretty. No! Just look at his lips. That's the worse thing I could look at! He'll think I'm not paying attention and I wouldn't be. Then I won't look at his face, but then he'll think really I'm not paying attention. His nose? Shit, even that's cute. It's freckled- "Craig?! Are you fucking serious right now?"

"Sorry."

He rolls his eyes. "You know what-"

He moves and I grab him. "I'm sorry. I'm listening."

He sits back down with a crease between his brows. It's like he's trying to be cute on purpose. "Since this isn't a real relationship, we should figure out some things. I don't know, it has to be from both of us. What we want and don't want." Asshole. Only you determined this wasn't a real relationship. "We are having sex."

"Alright," I agree. "We are having sex, so we can't have sex with other people. It's safer that way," I reason. "If we're having sex, it's better if we only have sex with each other, right?" The more I said the less confident I got. The more it sounded like that only thing that made this not a relationship. But Tweek merely shrugs.

"Okay," he says, easily. "Give me your phone."

"Why?" I ask, handing it to him.

"My term is communication. So, I'm putting in my number."

"Oh…" I say. It's quiet as he types. Tweek starts blushing. "Don't blush, jackass! You're gonna make me blush."

"You made a weird face first," he tells me, blocking my face with his hand

"Honestly, we should've done this by now. We meet every day. How have we not been communicating?"

"Sometimes you just don't show up," Tweek says, tartly. "But I'd go if you're there or not so it never mattered." He calls himself and then cancels the call. "But now since we have to plan our shit out," He shoots me a glare.

"You would've done the same thing! That's why you didn't want to do it!"

"I guess," he says. "But if I know that about myself and I had to do it, I'd be extra cautious 'cause I'm not a dumbass! It wasn't a hard job, Craig. You had one thing to do." My phone dings and Tweek looks at it. "Your mom says, ' _We should talk more tonight. I have some questions if that's okay_.'" He laughs. "Your mom talks to you like she's talking to her therapist." Then he looks confused.

"Hey," I take my phone back. "Don't be a dick."

"Fine, fine," he says. "Sorry." I wave him off. "Also, no more PDA. When we do stuff like that in the parking lot or the gym with all the windows. I feel like someone somewhere somehow will see us," he says. "I don't really mind if people find out," he admits. "I know my parents won't care. I don't know about you but either way, I'd just rather not risk it doing stupid shit."

"You're right," I agree. "And sorry, by the way."

"Do you have anything else?" I shrug. "Well, that was easier than I thought it'd be."

"Well," I say. There is one more thing. I just don't know if I can say it. This might be my only chance though.

"What?"

There's no way I can say it. "N- never mind."

He starts laughing. "What is it? Now you have to say it."

"No…"

"For real," he says, softly "I don't care. Just tell me."

I stare at him. "You creepy bastard. I'll tell you but don't do that ever again." He starts laughing again.

"We get kinda rough and… honestly I'd like to be rougher sometimes but I didn't know if you would be okay with it," I tell him. "Either way, I think we should have a safe word." So I can know when he really means, ' _don't_ ' and, ' _stop_ '.

Tweek hums in thought. "Well, if we had a safe word I guess you could do whatever and I could just tell you if I wanted you to stop."

Ha, what. Wait a minute…

"What?"

" _If we had a safe word_ ," he repeats more clearly, not understanding that my, 'what' was rhetorical. But the confirmation is still… "You could do whatever you want and I could just let you know if I don't like it."

"You're saying…"

"What- Why are you so confused?"

"I can do whatever I want to you. You understand that, right?"

"Well, Craig, I wasn't expecting it to be anything extreme but now I'm reconsidering," he says. He gasps a little. "Why are you getting hard?! I take it back. We haven't agreed yet. I take it back."

I cover my face. "It's not my fault! Who says shit like that? You just said I could do whatever I wanted to you. A lot went through my mind. And why're you still in my lap anyways? Didn't _you_ say that it was uncomfortable?"

"It is," he says. "But we're having a conversation."

"So you have to sit in my lap?"

"That wasn't the objective when I got in your lap," he argues. "You were the one who killed the mood and it's not back just because you're hard."

"Where even are we?"

"Some creek by my house," he says. "I come here to smoke a lot. Nobody knows about it so nobody ever comes.

I grab his thighs and hike him closer on my lap. He gasps a little. "Asshole," he says. "I'm adding that to my list. Stop yanking me around. I don't grab you, do I?"

"That's true," I consider. "You would if you could though," I tell him surely with a smirk.

"It seriously pisses me off. Stop doing it."

"I'll try," I assure him.

"Doing it in here is gonna be terrible," he considers. "Nah, let's just get off and then go home."

"What?"

"Yeah," he says. "Not happening. Maybe if you had a backseat."

"Take your shorts off before I get mad." He snickers but starts to push his shorts off. "You do this shit on purpose." That's not fair of me to say when I think everything he does turns me on but he did sit in my lap on purpose and this whole thing was so we could fuck, right? Ultimately, wasn't that why he drove us out here?

"Maybe someone shouldn't skip practice," he says. He was seriously upset about that? Was he going to do this yesterday and then I bailed? How the hell was I supposed to know that?

"You could've asked for my number at any time," I point out.

"Yeah, so could you."

"You would've beaten me up or not given it to me," I tell him and he knows I'm right.

"How'd we go this long without doing anything anyways?" he kisses my neck and I hold his hips.

"I have no idea," I say, slipping my hands beneath his shorts.

"I was so angry for no reason and then I realized why," he chuckled.

"Are you sure we can't do it?"

He sighs heavily. "Don't sway me."

"Don't allude that you can be swayed," I counter.

"No, we can't," he says, surely. "Now, c'mon. Let's be fast." He reaches into my shorts.

Weak. I grab his shirt and lift it. "Hold this." He takes it and I nip at his chest.

"Hm, I said fast," he says. I suck tenderly where I just bit. " _Hah_ , fine, do what you want."

I hold back my laughter and continue to kiss and suck on his nipples. He hums and moans and I feel him reach between us. He starts to pleasure himself but I grab his hand. I put it on my throbbing member and replace his hand with my own. He glances at me.

 _Like this._

Tweek and I stroke each other slowly. He grabs my shirt and yanks it up. "Hold this,' he mocks.

"Ya gonna fondle me now?" I tease.

" _Mm_ , no, looks better like this." I take my shirt off and toss it to the side so it doesn't get in the way. He leans into me and hums. "Maybe I should," he smirks. He kisses my neck and our hands move faster. His free hand runs down my torso. " _Hah_ , you have such a nice body." It has to be nice if I'm gonna keep up with you. " _Hm_ …"

I grab his back and pull him in closer. "I'm gonna come," he warns. I quickly cover it with my hand. Unfortunately, we weren't smart enough to think of grabbing tissues prior. Tweek's hand speeds up and he kisses my neck and then me.

After I come, Tweek climbs back into his seat and we clean ourselves up. "Great. My legs are sore."

If you're just gonna keep complaining about my truck and shitting on all my hopes and dreams then fine, "What kind of sex friends don't even actually have sex?"

"If you'd came yesterday, maybe we could've figured it out by now. Your truck's too small." Yeah, yeah. 'Cause it's always my fault. "You'd be the only one enjoying it."

How disappointing. I fully understand his reasoning and that's fine but how disappointing. It was a beautiful thought I suppose, but I should've kept in mind that Tweek's a selfish bastard.

"C'mon, don't be a douche."

"I'm more upset about you trashing my truck."

"C'mon, don't be a douche," he repeats. "We can figure something out. We can't go to my house. Is your place free at all?"

"I don't know. I'd have to check with everyone's schedule and that changes daily."

"We'll figure it out," he shrugs, sitting back. "Take me home. I'm tired."

"That's no way to ask for anything."

"What? Please?" He raises an eyebrow. " _Please_ take me home, Craig. What are you, my mom?"

"I'm adding to my list," I say grabbing his wrist. "I want a mutual level of respect." He snatches his hand back. "You know, you don't even have to say please but not having an attitude all the time would be nice. Sometimes it feels like you hate me- and don't say you do because if we're gonna do this and have these 'terms', then mine is that you can't hate me." It makes me feel shitty when we do things and then he treats me like garbage or when I'm nice to him and then he's rude.

"I don't hate you. Don't be a pussy."

"Take me seriously."

"I'll try," he mocks.

"Fine," I say. I start the truck and drive him the rest of the way home.

"Don't be like that. It was a joke," he tells me. "I'll see you tomorrow." He hops out and I watch him until he's inside. I lean into the steering wheel and sigh.

Now I get to talk to my mom…

* * *

 _Thanks for all the support. You guys are wonderful. Means a lot to me. I'm sure these aren't perfect either but here they finally are. Omg what have we learned?_


	21. Chapter 21

I've been sitting in my driveway too long. What's the problem? My mom already knows so why isn't this easier than telling her I like guys.

…She wasn't expecting it back then but now I don't even know what she's thinking really. What does she even wanna talk about? What kind of questions? What if this ruins the calm resolve she had the first time? Maybe she didn't take me seriously and that's why she was fine.

Besides that, what about me? I sigh.

There's really no point in putting this off. I unbuckle myself and head inside. The lights downstairs are dim again. Everyone's probably in bed already. I came back pretty late. My mom is on the couch. "Hey," she says when I walk in. I'm overreacting again.

I set down my things. "Hey." I plop down I on the far side of the couch and don't say anything. This is so awkward. I feel transparent. Why's this gotta be so invasive? Why should I even need to do this? I should've just waited 'till graduation, left, and then came back one day with a guy like, 'This is who I'm with now.' How'd I even manage to say it to her. I don't wanna cry again. I'm not sure why I had in the first place.

"We don't have to talk, if you don't want to," she says. "I didn't mean to make you nervous. I just wanted to talk."

Yeah. Why. About what? "It's fine… We can talk."

"How are you?" I raise an eyebrow at her. "I just feel bad," she admits, looking in her lap.

"Why?"

She shrugs, "I should've known."

"I didn't want anyone to know. That's not your fault."

"I guess you're right. Still, we were so hard on you when really something was going on. I should've known something was going on," she says. And it's stupid because the child in me agrees with her.

However, the adult in me understands so it's fine. "Let's just move on."

She's still solemnly quiet for a moment but then she brightens up a little. "So can we talk about your boyfriend now?"

"Well," I say, "He isn't my boyfriend. We do boyfriend things but we aren't boyfriends." How embarrassing. This is why I was putting this off.

"What the heck is that?" she says. "I really wanna meet him," she gushes. She quickly adds, "I know I probably can't right now but once you guys figure things out, invite him over."

I laugh at the thought of Tweek meeting my dad. "You guys would scare the shit out of him." I don't think they themselves would intimidate Tweek the slightest. It'd be the incentive of meeting my family and mine is kinda rambunctious to boot, especially compared to his. If he did come, my mom would be very extra about us being together and my dad would be awkward and uncomfortable. Ruby would be an asshole and I don't know how Tweek would react at all. It doesn't sound like a good idea though. Who knows what they would say. And if I even invited him to meet my family he'd never talk to me again.

My mom frowns. "We could tone it down. I could control your father and sister. They know better."

"This is hypothetical anyways, we're not together."

"Okay, okay," she says. "Seems like you wanna be though. Am I right?"

"I wouldn't mind if we were but this is also okay."

"What is that? Do you like him or not?"

I hesitate, "I do… like him but, it just wouldn't work out."

"Based on what? What kind of bullshit it that?"

"He's really… hard to understand. Sometimes I think he might actually like me but then he says shit- sorry- that makes me feel like punching him in the face. Stuff like, 'we aren't dating' and, 'we aren't even friends,'" I quote. " _He_ doesn't even seem to know what he wants. I feel like the closer I try to get, the more he pushes away. And if I let myself like him, I'll be setting myself up."

"What if you told him how you felt and you guys made a plan together. It's not hard. If it works out, it does and if it doesn't, it doesn't. You're not going to school anyways, let's be honest. Your plans can be flexible," She says thoughtfully.

I scoff, "Okay, realistically, I can't just go up to him, confess and then tell him I want to be with him forever." I flush. I never thought I'd be talking to my mother about something like this.

"You would if that's what you really wanted. Worst thing that happens?" She hums. "He says no? He… stops seeing you. You both graduate and do what you were gonna do anyways. At least you know what kind of person he really is. Seems wishy washy. You said he didn't even know what he wanted." She shrugs, "Maybe it's you. Maybe you know it better than him. But do what you want. Stay here with us and become manager. I don't care."

I sigh. Is she right? I don't even know what I'd do if it worked out though. I never thought about it because I was so sure it couldn't. And what use would it do to think about it. If I let my thoughts go there, who knows.

"Is it Clyde?"

"What the f- No!"

"Okay," she laughs. "Let me guess again. Don't get offended," she laughs more at my disgusted reaction.

" _Clyde_?"

"There's tension!" she argues with a laugh.

"Gross. He's like family, ma!"

"Okay, I'm sorry. He was the easiest target though," she says. "The guy you box with."

"Hm, yeah. His name's Tweek," I tell her.

"Oh yeah, _Tweek_." She flashes her eyebrows at me. "Is he fit? Is he cute?"

"He's really handsome," I say. "Nice eyes."

"Craig, I'm so proud of you," she gushes.

I laugh, "Why?"

"I don't know," she hugs me. "For telling me? For being so mature? I don't know," she says. "I'm really happy for you. I don't want you to feel pressured to tell your dad or anything. That's why I wanted to talk to you so bad. I wanted to make sure that you weren't regretting telling me. I wanted to make sure you were okay, that you knew we're okay. That' I'm not upset at all and this is great," she tells me. "It's really important that you don't let people decide for you. And it happens so easily, without you even realizing it. I know I had such a hard time being myself when I was younger. Pretending to like things I didn't and forgetting the things I did, for who? You can't be happy like that. And that's why this is great and maybe that's why I'm so proud of you," she says.

"You've really grown up to be a man, Craig."

"Are you gonna cry? Don't cry, mom."

"What the hell is going on down here. Looks like a damn séance." My dad's voice rumbles from behind, startling both of us to death as he flicks on the lights. "Fucking weirdos."

"Screw you, Thomas," my mom stands to talks to my dad in the kitchen. "Don't get mad 'cause your vision's gone to shit."

"What the hell?!"

My mom teases my dad about needing glasses now that he's old but it all sounds like static. Fuck, did he hear? He was already at the bottom. What did he hear? He's acting fine but fuck.

I run my hands through my hair. Whatever. If he knows then he does. At least he isn't saying anything about it now and odds are he really didn't hear anything. His hearing's going to shit too. I chuckle to myself.

* * *

 _meant to post this along with the rest of em so here ya go. enjoy~_

 _lmao who mentioned me on tumblr tho that's so cool_


	22. Chapter 22

Coach lowers his focus mitts. "You know," he says. "Most people use this as an outlet." He starts taking them off. I guess I was so bad he's giving up. "How come you're always so distracted? Today it's more than usual." Yeah, because of who I have to box with. I glance towards Tweek who's looking over amused.

"Honestly, let's just wrap it up here," he says. I'd be more upset if I weren't relieved. He's right. I've been thinking too much. It's always something.

No, it's just always _him_. I can't stop thinking about what my mom said. That I should just go for it. That it's worth risking everything but… If he rejected me, there's no way I could fight him anymore and coach definitely wouldn't accommodate two practices for us. It's only a few months but we'd still have to go to school together and then I guess I'd… quit boxing? I can't.

If Tweek and I were together, I always said it wouldn't be different but I never really thought about it. Tweek's not an affectionate person in general so it probably wouldn't. What if it was though. An affectionate Tweek…

If I told him, what would I say? _I want more than this. I want all of you. I want you to myself_. God, I couldn't say that. _I want us to be together_. After that Tweek's only response is to kiss me in every scenario. My confession is so genuine and powerful that Tweek is incredibly touched in every parallel. I hold him and we kiss and he just asks what took me so long.

My heart skips so I let the thought go. I should never think of something like that again. But the thought is back within seconds. That's how today's been even before boxing. Tweek in my bed. Tweek in my truck. Tweek at school. Tweek smiling. Tweek laughing. Every time he's made me feel better when I was down. Tweek pulling his hair back or letting it down. Tweek getting dressed. Tweek in the shower. Tweek naked.

"Ready?" Tweek nudges me.

"What? Oh. Yeah…"

"Then c'mon already."

"You got somewhere to be?"

"I was talking about your daydreaming," he tells me. We walk to the truck. "What about you?" he asks. "Busy?"

I glance at him, through the windows. That's new code for _, Let's fuck_. "No but, I'm going to a party with the guys." I unlock the doors and we hop in. "So, I can't."

He huffs, "What about this weekend?"

"This weekend I'm free," I tell him and then after some silence and considering, "You should come." He makes a face. "What?"

"Eh… Um, I'm busy today."

"Asshole. You were just free."

"Mm," he considers. "I don't like parties. Or crowds."

"Me either. That's why I'm inviting you."

"I don't really want to," he tells me bluntly.

"Have you ever even been to a party?" He's quiet because he hasn't and he knows he can't lie about it.

"Dick," he accuses.

I laugh. "It's fine, man. The guys are the only reason I get to go. But you should go to one before you graduate at least." Tweek's glaring at me. "What now?"

"You're just… so stupid," he tells me. I try to backtrack to where I acted stupid.

"They're not so bad," I tell him, choosing to ignore it because if I punch him in the face he won't want to come. "There's drinks and drugs usually if you hang out long enough." We pull up to his place.

"I don't know."

"Well, think about it, at least?" He sighs, hopping out. "Alright," I frown. "But if you change your mind, it's at Jenna's." Tweek waves without looking back.

If he wouldn't even go to a party with me… What the hell am I thinking?

I get to Token's all dejected and introspective. _Stupid_. How do I like him? This is him trying to be more respectful? That shit came out of nowhere and had no relevance at all. I didn't do anything to piss him off. It's like he wasn't even pissed off but just felt like letting me know I'm the dumbest person he knows.

I am stupid for inviting him to come. I don't know why I did that. I knew he was gonna shoot me down! God, that's so fucking embarrassing.

I walk inside. Doesn't look like Token's parents are home. I jog up the steps and push open his door. "Hey."

"Yo," Toke waves. He's already ready, chilling out on his console. I walk into the bathroom where Clyde is messing with his hair in the mirror.

"I was trying to grow my hair out," he says. "But shit, I look gross."

"Yeah," I agree.

"Fuck you, Craig." He grumbles. "We can't all be impossibly handsome."

"Well, clearly not impossible." I chuckle, leaning over counter and checking myself. "Where's Kenny?"

"He's at Jenna's already. I guess they have a thing now?" That's good. I didn't feel like dealing with him being a smartass. And Clyde's a lot tamer when he's not around.

Since I knew I'd be coming today. I already packed a bag and had it in my car to come straight here after practice. So, I change into something more 'party appropriate' and check my hair in the mirror next to Clyde, who's still doing this.

"We get it, Craig, you're hot." He groans. "Can you go somewhere else while I try to deal with this?"

"Want me to buzz it for you?" I ask. He stares at me and then at himself in the mirror. "Toke, you have a shaver?" I lean out of the doorframe.

"Man, what are you about to do to my bathroom?"

"Don't worry, we'll clean!" I promise with a toothy grin. It means I'm lying and have no intentions of cleaning whatever mess is about to happen but Token has people for that probably…

Clyde taps his chin. "I don't know. This took the entire school year." Token enters, pulls open a drawer, hands me a whole razor set, and leaves.

Now I'm razor in hand. I'm pretty much ignoring Clyde. He's impulsive by nature. He's gonna say yes and then I'll get to shave a head. Plus he's right. His hair's looked terrible for a while now. He could never pull off that man bun. "How short do you want it?" I ask pulling the guards out.

"Craig," he whines.

"Take your shirt off so it doesn't get dirty."

Token reenters with a large sheet and throws it on the floor. "Get hair anywhere else and you sleep in here tonight," he threatens and I just snicker. This feels nice. Being with them like old times.

Clyde pulls his shirt over his head and onto the floor. "Leave like an inch or two."

"It's getting late," Token warns us. "Hurry up."

"C'mon, Toke, you know you wanna get in on this," I hold the shaver towards him. "I'll let you have the first swipe."

"Gee, I'm honored," he deadpans. Token takes the razors and Clyde sits in a chair in front of the mirror. "You sure?" Token checks.

Clyde hums in thought briefly. "Yeah, it's almost summer. It's too hot anyways."

Token buzzes a line right down the middle of Clyde's head and we all bust out laughing.

"Looks good," Toke decides, switching the trimmers off.

"Wh- What the fuck?!" I double over, holding my stomach. "Looks great, dude. You ready then?"

"Nah," Clyde wheezes. "We can do better." He digs through a drawer until he finds a pack of tiny black rubber bands. I'm not really watching him because I'm still laughing and when I'm finished and finally look up, Clyde's put the two sides of his hair in pig tails.

We all start screaming. Now I'm on the ground. "You look like fucking Pennywise!" Token grabs the counter to hold himself.

"You look so fucking stupid!" I cackle. "I'll give you fifty bucks to go just like that."

"For real?" he asks.

"No," I laugh.

"I would," Token says.

Clyde face twists up. "Nuh uh, if it's Toke the price goes up."

"What the hell is that? That's not fair."

"Whatever, Toke. Craig has a job and works for his money so fifty Craig dollars doesn't equal fifty Token dollars."

"Craig dollars…?" I chuckle still on the ground.

"Didn't you say we were in a hurry. Can you assholes stop fucking around and finish?" Clyde says.

"What'd you mean? It's done."

"Then give me the damn trimmers, I'll do it myself!"

I pop the battery out. "I think it's dead." Like it really matters if we make it on time. Clyde looks like he's starting to really get upset. Clyde knows I'd seriously chuck this thing out the window and leave him like this.

"Craig," he starts fake sobbing. "I don't want to do this right now."

"Wanna fight for it?"

"You box!"

"You play football."

"Sounds like an even fight to me. Please take it outside where you won't break my shit," Token interjects.

I wave him off. "Boxing's not messy," I assure him. "I know what I'm doing."

"Man, this is gonna be dumb," Token let's out a heavy sigh. "Let's go downstairs. Living room's probably best."

Once we're down and Clyde's standing in front me, I start laughing again. "Dude, I can't look at you. Put a hat on it or something."

Clyde starts punching me, not seriously but also not soft either. It makes me laugh harder because he looks so ridiculous. "Can't box and laugh at the same time. Who's the tough guy now?" _Wham_ , _wham_ , _wham_. He's right. He could actually beat me. I hadn't anticipated this.

"Give me the damn battery, asshole," he says. "Why'd you even offer?"

"I can't breathe."

Clyde let's go of me. "C'mon, McGregor, fight me." Clyde takes a boxing stance. Well, I mean, I can tell that's what he was going for.

I regain my strength and look him over. "Alright."

I pop Clyde in the mouth in one quick move. He stumbles back stunned. "Ah, Craig!"

"With a block like that, I could just end it in one blow."

"Fuck boxing." Clyde pummels me to the floor. Like a real lineman.

I try to get him in a headlock but now that we're wrestling, Clyde might be stronger. Boxing isn't all about strength if I can dodge your moves anyway but I can't do much with him on top of me like this. "Just give me the damn battery. How are you like this and you're not even drunk yet?"

"You're making me go so I might as well have fun," I say, struggling against him. "And I'll have a great time if you're there looking like this." I laugh at him again with tears in my eyes. He looks like a WWE reject. Clyde takes the opportunity to further restrain me. He gets my hands down.

He glances to Token who's barely watching. Token notices and goes, "Oh… Uh, what do they count to? Three or ten?"

This cracks me up even more. "What… kind of wrestling are you watching?" I say through more laughs.

"Fuck, forget it. I pinned you. I win."

"Who said we were wrestling? Weren't we boxing?"

"No rules," says Toke from the couch. I'm glad he's entertained.

"You're such an asshole," he gets off me and stands. "I'm sure his dad has one too. That can't be the only razor in the house."

"Hm, you're right," Token agrees and then chuckles, "Should've done that in the first place."

"Shut up, Token."

"Alright, alright, you won. I'll finish it." Then we can go to this stupid party and get it over it. I finish Clyde's hair and he gets dressed again. It's been roughly an hour since the parties started. It's a good thing. It means less time spent there hating myself. Once we're all ready, we hop in the truck and start driving.

Nobody really says anything. Clyde plays the radio. Halfway there I realize I'm driving. What the… I don't want to be responsible tonight. "Hey."

Token turns the music down. "Yeah?"

"Who's driving back?"

"Isn't this your car?" Clyde retorts.

"There's no way I'm not gonna drink."

"Then why did you get in your car, Craig?" Token asks.

"I wasn't thinking about it!" I say, turning down Jenna's neighborhood. "Someone should've said something before we left."

"Well, you got in your car, I assumed you were volunteering," Token says.

"You guys tricked me. I bet this is the real reason you invited me. To chauffeur."

"Yeah right," Clyde says. "Drink, Craig. I'm sure by the time we're leaving someone will be good enough to drive and if not, we can Uber and get the car tomorrow. Problem solved." He's right. I relax a little more.

We pull up to her house. You can already hear the party inside. Kids hang around the front, some going in and out of the house. I park somewhere on the side of the road. "If my truck gets toed…"

"Token will pay for it!" Clyde tells me, rubbing my shoulder. "Right, Token?"

"Fuck off."

"You know you would though."

"I would for Craig, not you, asshole."

We get out of the car and approach the scene. We should've pregamed and Ubered here. I feel so dumb that it slipped my mind. This is gonna blow.

* * *

 _A/N_

 _If anyone has it, send me the link to this fanart. I've always wanted fanart and then nobody even tells me about it? D,:_


	23. Chapter 23

I sip on my beer, contemplating my worse life decisions. This is up there. We've only been at the party a half hour maybe and it already blows. I'm awkwardly standing by Token, (not really) pretending to be a part of this conversation. Whenever I come to these things I always end up just following him or Clyde around like some lame stray dog. I should've just done what I knew I wanted to do. Bailed on the guys and hung out with Tweek. If having sex counts as hanging out. Then I did something stupid like inviting him. I need to be more careful or I'm gonna scare him off. I shouldn't have come here. Now I can't stop thinking about how he rejected me. It was like I was trying to test him before I declare my feelings for him and psychotic idea of moving in together. This is why I didn't let myself think about this stuff before. Felt better… Now on top of having to be here, I'm here depressed about that.

I tune back in. I realize most of the people originally in the group Token was talking to have disappeared and it's only one girl left. Fuck, he's courting her. I shuffle off without a word. Now, what am I supposed to do? Someone runs into me. I'd be angry but it's a girl so I just set her straight and apologize.

"Craig!" It's Jenna

"Oh, hey…" We aren't really friends but we know each other and I am in her house and at her party. But if she's here where's Kenny. I still haven't seen him.

"I'm surprised you came. Kenny said you wouldn't." I was too stupid. She grins, "But I'm glad you did."

"Yeah," I chuckle. "Party's aren't my scene."

"I can tell," she laughs. She glances at my almost empty beer. "I'm heading to the kitchen for some shots," she mentions. "You wanna join?"

"Sure," I say causally and trail her through the crowd. Oh, thank God. Although I feel like Jenna's being a little flirty and that's making me uncomfortable. Because I know she has a thing with Kenny, not because I'm gay. This is fine if she's gonna give me alcohol. If I'm drunk enough, maybe I can enjoy this. The music's actually good too.

We end up meeting Kenny and a few other girls in the kitchen. Jenna starts pouring the shots. "Hey, man, you made it," he says to me.

"I'm only here to get trashed." Kenny starts laughing and I think he's on something.

"Want some molly?"

"Not that kind of trashed…" I eye him.

He gives me that Kenny smile and shrugs. "No pressure. We can still make that happen."

"I don't get drunk that easily."

"We'll see," he says. Jenna finishes and the group raises their cups and we all down our shots. It's not bad. I don't visibly react. Neither does Kenny. He turns back to me right after he takes his and says, "Wanna have some fun?"

Kenny laughs loudly some more at my face. "Not like that, fucker!" He punches my arm. "I meant a drinking contest."

Jenna gasps, "Oh, that's a great idea! I wanna play!"

"I know a version that uses teams," Kenny says, thoughtfully. His eyes still smile even when he doesn't. "I don't know how well it will work though."

"But I'm kind of a light-weight."

Kenny's face lights up at Jenna "Then it's perfect, babe!"

"I don't have a partner," I glare at him. "And you're gonna cheat and give me someone you know will lose."

Kenny keeps on giggling and laughing. He slaps my chest. "Alright, alright… What about…" He scans around. His face lights up for the second time. "Tweek!" Tweek? My head snaps the direction Kenny's looking. "You two are close so you can trust him, right?"

Tweek just entered the kitchen unknowing of the conversation being had just a few feet away. "Tweek!" Kenny shouts. He gets some friends to also call until the blonde looks over curiously. Kenny motions him. "Get the fuck over here!"

"What even is the game?"

"It's two teams," Kenny tells me slowly. He reminds me of a slow computer. "They both have a heavy-weight and a light-weight… and the light-weights drink against each other and then the heavy-weights go and whoever drinks the most… wins."

"We don't even know if Tweek's a lightweight."

"Then that's your advantage and you know I'm not cheating," he says. "I'll still beat you."

What's going on? I only had one beer and one shot. Am I… Why is Tweek here?

Once he comes over, I pull him over a little so only he can hear, "You seemed pretty sure you didn't want to come."

"Weird. I don't ever remember saying no," he says, pulling away vexed.

Now Kenny has a stupid smirk. Ugh. "Everything's set up. Light-weights go first and then us," he explains. "It has to be a full shot to count. Whoever has the most shots by the end wins." He laughs.

Tweek looks confused. "What?"

"We're having a drinking contest," I tell him. "You're on my team."

"I don't drink," he tells me.

"It's fine," I say, sighing. Kenny's an idiot. "You're playing as the light-weight. You don't have to drink that much." Tweek blinks at me. I can't read him. I still can't believe he came. But I shouldn't be surprised, should I? He never makes any sense. I should be confused if he actually does what he says. "What?"

"Are you guys ready?" Kenny asks.

I look at Tweek, "Well?"

"Fine," he says. The tables set with two full bottles of Svedka and then two shot glasses on each side. Tweek goes to the left. I stand next to him and Kenny stands behind Jenna.

"Alright, I'll set a time. You guys have thirty seconds to drink as much as you can," Kenny says. Tweek stares at the shot glass. He glances at me and I give him a thumbs up. I wonder why he chose to come. I wish this hadn't happen so I could've confronted him immediately, though it seems he was prepared to deflect and probably lie about his reasoning. How'd he get here anyway. I bet he did the smart thing and took and Uber. But he said he doesn't drink… Then why'd he fucking come here?

"Go!" Kenny yells. The crowd that's formed around us starts cheering.

Jenna and Tweek both pour a shout in sync and down it at the same time. Jenna goes for her second but Tweek puts the cup down after that and sits there while she finishes her second.

"What the hell are you doing?!"

"I can't drink anymore. I'll throw up," he tells me deadpan. He's such a fucking liar. I hate him so much. In lying to Kenny about how we're close, I ended up with someone who really would purposely make me lose.

I palm my face. I can't believe this. Kenny's holding his stomach, laughing at Tweek's unexpected actions. The time runs out and Jenna successfully downs another shot and a half. She's very drunk after this, stumbling away with her friends.

Kenny and I step up and Kenny opens a new timer. "Ready?" I nod. "Go!" he pressed start and we both start taking shot after shot after shot. Two are gone easy. Three and four are a bit slower. Five, Kenny's contemplative. I'm not, I down it and hurry for another. Kenny downs his and then stops. I take my sixth. "Wait…" he says annoyed. He pours another but just stares at it while I down another. "You're… crazy," he says. I really must be. But I feel okay so far. I'm definitely tipsy already. That's expected. I have to drink more to make up for Tweek though. How many have I had? Enough? I take another just in case. The timer goes off.

"Did I win?" I don't know how much I took.

Kenny looks around. "Was anyone keeping score?"

Tweek says, "Jenna took three and you took five. So, you two have eight." He explains it slow too so Kenny can keep up. I start to snicker but I'm glad he is talking slow because I wouldn't be able to keep up otherwise either. Tweek's so amazing. "I took one and Craig had eight so we win."

"Ha, ha, yeah!" I root, with my fist in the air. The crowd goes wild. I go to give Tweek a high five but he couldn't care less.

"I'm going to the bathroom," he says and leaves me hanging. I watch after him, wondering if I did something wrong. Everyone disperse and I realize I can't find Kenny anymore. I also realize I'm buzzing and having a great time now that I had those drinks. I could even dance. Let's dance. I start heading towards the living room where everyone's dancing.

Someone grabs me as I pass by. "Whoa, man, you good?" Clyde asks me.

"Yeah?"

"You're face's all red."

"I drank a lot really fast but I feel fine." Clyde makes a face. "Drinking contest."

"Oh," he says. "Did you win?"

"Don't ask me dumb questions."

"Against who?"

"Kenny."

He laughs. "You should slow down. I don't want to have to be responsible for you."

"I didn't drink that much," I assure him.

"Alright," he says, skeptically. "You know how you are when you're drunk."

"That was _one_ time," I roll my eyes and keep on my way.

I don't know who the DJ is but he's killing it. It's been nothing but bops since we got here but now that I've been drinking I can enjoy them properly with easy swaying.


	24. Chapter 24

Man, I drank a lot. I can drink but that was a lot so fast. Kenny's an asshole. Where'd he go? Where'd Tweek go? Wow, I almost forgot he was even here. Should I look for him? He didn't seem to be having a good time with me though. Maybe he really doesn't drink and got sick. I should've gone after him… I'm a fucking idiot. He probably already left. I could've been there to comfort him through it. But I'm sure he's gone by now, if that's the case. How long have I even been comfortably swaying? It feels like it could've been between four and forty minutes. Fuck. I can't be that drunk.

Someone grabs my arm. I glance over my shoulder. It's Kenny again. He shouts something in my ear but I don't get it the first time. " _Wanna smoke a blunt with me on the balcony?_ " He repeats. I nod even though another great song starts playing and follow him through the crowd. There's a couple walking inside as we walk out, leaving it just us, much to my contentment.

"How're you liking the party?"

"It's alright," I sip on my beer. The night looks really nice. We hang over the rail and he pulls the blunt out and lights it.

"You know," he starts. I hum in acknowledgement. "The other night I had a dream I used to have a lot when I was a kid- a nightmare actually," he tells me. "About everyone in class dying and turning into ghosts until it's just me and it's terrifying." He takes a hit and makes sure it's burning evenly. I help him, holding my hands out to block the wind. I don't know where he's going with this but it's making me nervous. I just pretend to be oblivious to the atmosphere. "It just made me think about how you dated Emily when we were kids. Back then she had shorter hair and her eyes were blue." Kenny laughs to himself and then coughs. "I never told you this but I thought it was funny you were dating her because she kinda looked like a boy and I didn't really like you back then." So, what? He does know? How would he know though? Nothing happened that day I ate with him at the picnic tables. There's no way he's seen us.

I can hear my heart pounding in my throat.

"Do you know you have a type? I thought about that after remembering Emily because of that time Clyde was looking at my Playboy and you called him gross and he called you crazy for thinking the girl was gross and asked you which one you liked. Blonde hair and blue eyes." I don't say anything. That day I unconsciously just said what I was thinking. And it probably wasn't even that big of a deal to call the model gross but I was freaking out internally. That's probably why Kenny remembers it. They thought I meant the girl but I meant _the girl_. The party seems much quieter.

I chuckle, "You're wasted, man. What're you talking about?"

"I thought I could use it to figure out who you're with," he explained. "But even then- How did I not realize it sooner?"

"Kenny, what the hell are you talking about?!" I snap. "Emily? A t- type?! You sound crazy."

"It's Tweek. You're hooking up with Tweek. Tell me you aren't." Kenny stares me dead in the eyes. "I saw him walking around with your coffee cup and it just clicked. He's like, the only other person you talk to, he's your type, and every time you two are allegedly together you show up with hickys."

"Why… are you doing this?"

Kenny laughs, "Craig! I don't care!" He grabs me and shakes me. "You can be with whoever the hell you want. Holy shit, I can't believe I figured it out though!"

"You weren't supposed to know. It's not fair that you know until I tell you."

"Not fair? Why are you keeping it a secret when you know nobody will care?"

"I don't know that," I mumble. I'm grumpy that he tricked me out here for this. Now I'm trapped.

Kenny scoffs and starts counting down, "Your parents won't care, Ruby won't care, Clyde and Token won't fucking care, and we don't have to tell anyone else. Unless you want to, 'cause they wouldn't care. This is great! Congratulations, man."

"Kenny, fuck."

"Calm down. It's not that big of a deal. One of us had to be gay. It happened to be you and that's fine. Plus, you already have a boyfriend. I don't even have a girlfriend right now."

"Just stop."

"Tweek's attractive too," he says, "That's actually so cute. I wish I could see you two together but you never talk at school." I cover my face. "Have you guys fucked yet? I can usually tell but I've never seen you two together so…"

"Fuck off."

"You guys are both tough too so like, who tops? It's… you, right?" Kenny starts laughing. "Is it you? I'm just assuming 'cause you're taller. Is that ignorant? I guess you can be tall and like it up the butt."

"God, stop joking. This isn't funny to me!"

Kenny looks at me and sighs. "It's okay," he says. "I'm not gonna tell anyone. I just think you should consider it." He takes a long hit. "Yeah man, I won't tell anyone. But if you're not gonna tell anyone, I'm glad I figured it out. Now we can talk about it. That's what you were worried about right? But I don't care so it's fine. I mean, the guys and I talk about girls all the time, it's not different." But it is.

He passes the blunt to me. "Tweek's not my boyfriend. I don't know what to call it. He says we're not even friends."

"Ouch, one of those. Must be rough." I shrug, taking a hit. "Don't pretend, dude. Doesn't work on me."

"It's not like I want to be boyfriends."

"Why not?"

"I like that we don't label it, I guess," I say. "There's not a lot of time before school ends and we leave anyways. It's no pressure."

"But," Kenny says, "You'd be pissed if he did anything with anyone else, right?"

"We talked about that," I tell him, giving in. He's right. It's not like I want to talk about it but it's probably healthy I do. And I suppose I trust Kenny. "I told him if we're gonna be having sex then he can only have sex with me."

"How monogamous."

"It's just safer."

"Sounds like a relationship."

"Kenny, shut up."

"Hey."

Kenny and I glance back. It's Tweek. My heart races a little knowing that he could've been there just listening the whole time. He joins us at the rail and takes the blunt from me. "I fucking hate parties," he says, taking a huge hit.

Kenny says to me, "Well, kissing's not sex." I'm confused for a moment but then Kenny grabs Tweek's face and pulls him into an ardent kiss. My eyebrows practically shoot off my forehead. Kenny tongues into Tweek's mouth but Tweek shoves him away, looking repulsed. Kenny blows out the smoke from Tweek's hit.

"K- K- What the fuck?!" I gap at him trying to grasp what just happened.

"You were right. I am wasted," He laughs. "But why are you mad?" he pokes my nose. "Ha, ha." Kenny pats Tweek on the shoulder. "You can finish that if you want." He tells him referring to the blunt and then disappears back into the house.

"What the fuck…?" Tweek wipes his mouth with his shirt, disgustedly. "What is wrong with your friends? This is why I never wanted to come."

"Why did you?" I wonder.

He snatches my beer. He drinks and swigs it around his mouth before spitting off to the side. "Did you tell him?"

"I didn't tell him. He figured it out."

"Because you're so obvious."

"I'm not," I insist. "Blondes are intuitive."

"That's stupid," he mutters, looking over the night sky.

"Did you like it?"

"What?"

"The kiss. Did you like kissing Kenny? You didn't even stop him."

He stops to look at me. "I could've socked him. Would you rather that?"

"So who else have you kissed?"

Tweek raises his eyebrows, "I'm not allowed to kiss anyone? Who the hell are you?"

"If you're kissing a bunch of people and you get mono, then I'll get mono."

"You're a fucking idiot, Craig. You can't tell me what to do, we aren't dating."

"Why don't you want to? Do you even like me?"

"Fuck, you're drunk. I can't talk to you when you're like this."

"Why did you let him kiss you? Why did you… in front of me?" Why did you come? Is this real or did I pass out? Am I dreaming again?

"The real question is what were you guys talking about before I came that made him do that in the first place?"

"It's like you don't care at all."

"I care because it was gross, not because you're stupid enough to get jealous," he tells me. "I'm not gonna have this conversation with you again," he says, angrily. "You're starting to seriously piss me off." I'm really confused right now but I think I'm losing. "We're not together. We're hardly friends," he rants.

"Then why did you even come?" I snap back.

Tweek stops. This seems to stunt him. He looks off over the balcony instead of at me and keeps an annoyed expression. "Not everything I do is about you. Maybe I wanted to come because I've never been to a party." He said maybe. He didn't say I wanted to.

"Maybe," I agree. Tweek shoots me a glare, realizing how his wording negates him.

"You know what I mean." I never know what you really mean. You say no but then you want it. You say you hate me but then you fuck me like you need it. "Know what? I don't have to explain myself to you."

"But," I lean over until our lips brush. "This is okay?" How do I work with that? I should be the one angry. I should be the one threatening. No... I couldn't do that to him.

"That's…"

"Hm," I close my eyes. "No, you're right. I'm sorry," I start. I have to concentrate too hard to keep with the conversation and make sense.

Everything's so fuzzy. What are we talking about anymore? Tweek's fuzzy, his words are fuzzy, even the moon is fuzzy. Are we fighting? I don't ever wanna fight with Tweek... Boxing doesn't count as real fighting. He looks good under the moonlight. I don't want to argue anymore. He just looks good in general, I think. What are we even arguing about? I want to kiss him more.

I wait for him to meet my gaze again and do so. I feel like I should care more that we're kissing on Jenna's balcony but Tweek doesn't really react so I keep going. I wrap my arms around him, pushing his pelvis into mine, forgetting the point.

"Wait," he fights, I don't budge. "Not here."

"I know, I know," I mumble. I don't know. I'm glad these words are coming out though. Am I making sense? What did he say? My lips never really fully leave his skin. I want him. But, where?

"Seriously, asshole."

"My truck."

"No way," he immediately objects.

He thinks for a moment before saying, "... Let's just go to my place."

"I thought you said I wasn't allowed?"

"Well I don't have siblings and my parents are doped up on sleeping pills. We can't go to your place and I'm saying I don't want to do it in your truck." He pushes me again. "Get off. We're outside."

"Okay," I agree, continuing to pepper his skin with kisses. "But maybe, one day…?"

"Jesus Christ, would you quit-"

"Having you naked in the bed of my pick up has always been a fantasy of mine," I admit.

"Alcohol makes you too honest," he pushes again and I release him finally.

"Let's go."

"You're drunk. You can't drive." It's like he's my brain, right now. So helpful.

"Are you drunk?"

"I'm high," he says. I hand him my keys. He's solved every problem so far. It dawns on me that I don't even know if Tweek _can_ drive but if he couldn't I'd expect him to have said something. It's not far and it's two in the morning anyways. Nobody's gonna be on the road.

I tell Tweek to go ahead and pull the car out and I go to say goodbye to Token and Clyde. I only managed to find Token. I babble about some excuse and then I jog out front where Tweek's waiting in the road. I hop in the passenger seat and he starts driving.

The quiet drive at night feels good after being in that chaos. I glance at Tweek. It's been a while since someone drove me anywhere.

"You driving my truck is hot."

"Please, stop saying whatever you want."

"But you're doing it." It's his fault.

"What? I'm not-"

"You're too pretty," I finish. "See? You even blush when you're called pretty." I caress his cheek. He's warm. I wanna kiss him.

"Don't touch me, Craig! I swear to God." I trace his lip and he grabs my wrist with one hand. He's not even looking. "I am not taking care of you," he flicks my limb back at me. "This is only 'cause I'm horny. But I'm starting to think you're too drunk, even for that."

I sit back. Everything gets blurry. "I knew it." He only wants me for my body. Am I'm more upset by this than I should be? But it hurts. My eyes water and my nose runs. I can't help it. It's just unbearably overwhelming especially after tonight. I sniff. I wish he hadn't reminded me. Going to his place to do what we always do every time. Possibly the whole reason he came to the party since he's actually inviting me to his place. I cover my face. Tweek's hated me, "This whole time." Since day one. That's why he knocked me out. I keep just pretending to be okay with it but it hurts. Why do I let him hurt me like this? He doesn't even care about me. I shouldn't… I shouldn't... If we both want different things out of this, isn't that enough premise to end it? But sometimes it seems possible…

"What time?" he asks. "Are you crying?!"

"What did I do to make you hate me?"  
Tweek pulls up to his house, parks, turns off the car and turns to me. "I don't hate you, Craig." I sob. "C'mon, seriously?" He isn't even trying to hide it. "Hey asshole, I said I don't hate you." All he does is call me asshole and stupid and bash me all the time. "Hey, look at me." He takes my hands away from my face. "It wouldn't make sense if I hated you, Craig. You're just sensitive because you're drunk." Stupid pretty face. He's too close. This is a trick.

"You only want my dick. You don't like me." Tweek's quiet for a while after that so I just lean back and cry. If he's not denying it, it must be true.

"I enjoy the time we spend together, okay?" he blurts out. "And boxing with you is fun. Happy?"

I turn away. "Of course you'd lie now," I say, wiping my face. I take a deep breath. "I'll stop talking since it bothers you. Let's just go inside and _do it_ then. I won't say anything else."

Tweek mumbles something under his breath. "Okay, fine. Honestly, I don't talk to many people, Craig. So when I'm with you, it's nice. It's nice to be around someone but it's also nice because you're… nice," he finishes, ineloquently.

"You said we aren't even friends," I hiccup.

"We have to be friends, Craig," he tells me. "Otherwise, what would we be?" …He's never talked to me like that before. "And I mean, what guy wants to be told he's pretty? Tell me I'm handsome or something."

I chuckle. Even though I know he's joking to make me feel better, I also feel like it's partially true. "You're beautiful."

"That's worse, asshole!" He blushes and I laugh more. "Don't tell me that shit!"

He sighs, "Are you good now? Can we go in?" He won't look at me.

I glance out the window. Well, I guess, as long as he doesn't _hate_ me… "Hm," I hum.

We get out and Tweek unlocks the door. Once inside, I pin him to the wall. Tweek fights me all the way up the stairs. "Stop," he whispers. "At least wait until we get to my room." It must be amazing to be an only child. "Are you trying to piss me off?"

"Yes," I tell him huskily. To which Tweek just flushes and pulls me along faster.

As soon as we're in his room, we both start undressing. I take off my shirt and Tweek strips his shoes and pants.

Then we're pressed against the door. I hike him up and position myself. "I'm putting it in." All I know is I've pretty much been hard up until this point so it makes sense.

Tweek pants, "Just like that? You didn't even-"

"Should be fine. I can't wait."

"It's not!- _mm_ \- _hah_ \- fuck, fuck, _fuck_!" I push into Tweek. "W- wait," he cries, hitting my chest. "Craig, please- _mm_ \- at least use sm- _hnng_ -" His nails dig into my skin so hard. _Damn, this is one of the realest ones yet._

"Slow- fuck- _slower_."

I go slower until I fill Tweek entirely. It's by far the hardest thing I've ever had to do and I'm not really understanding what the problem is either. Why should I do what he says? This is my dream.

"Wait." I give him a minute to adjust. He squeezes me so much it's hard to tell whether or not he's teasing. "Okay, _hah_ , you can move," he holds onto me, resting his head on my chest.

I carry Tweek over to the bed, drop, and climb on top of him. He grabs a handful of my hair and yanks my face to his. " _Do not_ fucking-" I kiss him roughly, flipping him onto his back. I raise his hips before thrusting back into him.

" _Fuck_ ," I kiss his neck and face. I run my hand down his lower back. Everything about him's so… _Hm_. "You feel so good."

" _Craig_." C'mon. I plow into him harder. "C- Craig- _ng_ \- wait, _there_ ," he grabs at my jeans, snagging his fingers in the pocket. He's so sexy. I push his hair away and lean forward. I bite his neck and thrust into the same spot. The sounds he makes… I can't.

"I'm coming," Tweek warns. I reach down and begin stroking him. He trembles and comes but I keep stroking him even after. "Don't- _nnm_!" He stuffs his mouth with his fist and then I come.

I push my hair back and wipe away some sweat. Tweek and I catch our breaths then, I flip him onto his back, grab his thighs and pull him into me. He stares at me with wide eyes. "What the hell are you do- _ing!_ " I push back into him. I lean down kissing his chest and collar bone and then flicking my tongue over his nipple. "You- you- _mm_ \- Craig…"

I twist the other one between my fingers, nipping and biting at the one in my mouth. I switch to the other one, dragging my tongue over it, watching him. I grab his shaft. "Don't… I ju- _shit_."

"But you're hard," I tell him simply, jerking him off while I drill into him. I feel almost conscious. Like Tweek's really right in front of me, drenched in sweat and dirty with his own semen. And I'm really inside of him, _again_ , hitting his deepest parts.

Why am I wearing jeans though? It'd be better if we were wearing nothing. I wanna feel him pressed against me.

"Ah, Craig, _mmf_ ," he bites his lip. I lean onto my arm next to his head and thrust harder. He throws his arms around my neck. This time there's no warning. Tweek's body seizes and he quakes and comes. I kiss the side of his neck over and over again. His legs are still trembling when I come and the sensation makes him seize up.

I pull out of him and try to regain my thoughts. What was I doing? The room's so loud with breathing and it looks like it's tilting when I sit up.

Fuck, right, _jeans_! Fucking uncomfortable piece of- pieces of- of shit…? Where's… happened to my other shoe? I struggle to get my one shoe off and toss it along with all my remaining clothes. Then I climb back over Tweek, who's still in the same spot, breathing loudly. His eyes are closed but I can tell he's awake. I chew the inside of my lip. He looks good but… I grab his shirt and pull it up, exposing his chest. Tweek's eyes blink open and he looks lost. I rip the shirt over his head and toss it, climbing on top of him.

I press my lips to his and kiss him smoothly. It's better now that we're both naked and skin to skin. Our tongues brush and I tilt his head back to kiss deeper into his mouth. I grind against him and he flinches. I sit up and grab his legs. "No, wait, Craig!" I take his feet together with one hand and hold them to the side, near my shoulder. "A- _again_?"

"Hm," I hum, nuzzling his feet.

"Please, I can't again." His words are hardly registering. He puts one hand on my hip and one on my chest. "Craig, are you listening? Don't."

" _Whatever I want_ ," I kiss his feet and close my eyes. That's what it was he said. I could do whatever I want. "I _want_ one more." I plunge back into him. He cries out. It won't be that bad, I can make it good.

"Hey Tweek," I say.

"Mm?" he whimpers.

I grab him and flip us so I'm on my back and he's sitting on top of me. He inhales sharply. "If we do it like this, I fill you the deepest." I put my hands on his hips pushing him down on me more. Tweek twitches. He looks really good up there. "But you have to move," I tell him, squeezing his thigh.

"Craig, I can't…" he says, flushed with tears streaming down his face.

"Just move your hips," I tell him gently, wiping them away.

"Augh," Tweek takes a deep breath and then using me as leverage he raises himself off me a little before taking me back in. He rips his lip apart with his persistent biting. He does it again, grinding a little once I'm hitting all the way. " _Mmn_ ," we moan together. What a nice dream. The Tweek's in my dream have never acted this cute. Usually they take charge but I'm liking this dynamic loads more. I sigh contently. I grab his hips and help him a little, speeding his pace. I'm slamming into him all the way to the hilt. Tweek comes again, collapsing on my chest. I flip us and thrust into him, holding one of his legs.

This time when I come, I see white. Ah, I can't catch my breath. My heart's beating in my brain. This is heaven. Am I dead? I must be dead.


	25. Chapter 25

Incoherent talking stirs me awake. I could've slept through it but I didn't know where I was initially. I quickly recognize Tweek's room though and let myself rest again.

"So annoying," Tweek says, slamming the door, lightly. He looks at me with the fury of a thousand suns. "You weren't supposed to spend the fucking night."

"I was too drunk to drive. What did you expect?"

"You just passed out right after. Naked, sticky, gross."

"I'm not even that gross."

Tweek snaps, "Get dressed and leave." Only then do I notice the folded clothes in his hand- my clothes. He must've washed them afterwards last night. What the fuck…? How did this even happen?

I groan and turn over. "What time is it?"

"It's eight. I had to get up before my parents so they wouldn't walk into my room and see you," he tells me. "Since you wouldn't wake up for shit."

"Look at you, Mister Responsible... Let me sleep a little longer. I'm hung over."

"You're so fucking obnoxious," he mutters. "I should strangle you." He throws my boxers at me. "At least put something on," he averts his gaze which makes me laugh a little. Weirdo.

"Hey, I have morning wood. Wanna do it again?"

"No," Tweek says, seeming to get angrier by this. "I don't. Because I'm sore. Because you're an asshole!"

"If you're talking about last night, I don't remember anything." I can assume Tweek and I had sex and then I passed out.

Tweek jumps on top of me and hits me in the face. It's too abrupt for me to react. He grabs my face with one hand.

"Did you seriously just punch me?" I'm kind of laughing but it really hurt. My words are muffled by his palm.

His grip tightens. He's still serious so I stop joking. "You need to remember because if you ever pull some shit like that again, Craig, I'm gonna snap your dick in half and then set you on fire." Jesus fucking Christ.

"What are you talking about? What did I do?"

"You just shoved it in- augh," he pushes my face, turning red. "If I- You're gonna piss me off more…" The whole time he talks he shoves my face back, harder. But I'm not trying to make him mad, I can't even remember being offered to come to Tweek's house… "I want to hit you again," he says, releasing me. "Get dressed and leave, before I do," he says.

The irony is that Tweek's on top of me now so even though he declined my initial offer, I wonder if everything's off the table. _Just shoved it in_? "I'm sorry. Did it hurt?"

"You're not sorry and of course it fucking hurt. What do you think?" He hits me again.

"I always felt like you sort of liked the pain."

"Did you fucking hear me?" He hits me again.

"You have too much energy for eight in the morning. You have too much energy for being sore too. Are you sure we can't?" I glide my hand up his spine into his shirt. "I don't even remember last night."

Tweek looks furious, snatching my hand away and pinning me. Hm, this is… "You just do whatever the hell you want! I said you can't stay here. I told you not to shove it in and you did that too. And you fucked up my sheets," he growls. Is he mad that I was too rough? I thought Tweek liked it rough! Then what's the problem?

"Well, you messed up my jockstrap," I counter. "Among many other things, I just never brought up." Honestly. Who gets mad about that shit. It was an accident.

Tweek glares at me. "Why do you even wear a jockstrap?"

 _That's_ his counter? "Optimal athletic support."

"Whatever, it's dumb." He likes it.

"Whatever," I echo. "If you're sore let me make you feel better."

Tweek sighs. "You're a piece of shit," he glares. He's not wrong. He looks like he's considering it and then he starts hitting me again.

I laugh even though it actually kind of hurts. "I said I was sorry. I'll make it up to you," I promise. He stops hitting and grabs my throat tight.

And it's quiet for a moment, we just stare at each other. "I'm into this," I say.

He starts hitting me again harder. I laugh some more, grabbing his hands. I wish I knew what I did though. We drank, Tweek disappeared, I danced, Clyde… Where did Tweek even go?

"You acted like an ass last night," he tells me. His vague wording scares me the most. An ass. Was I emotional drunk or rambunctious drunk? Did I just act stupid or did I say stupid things and if I did, who heard what? "It's not my job to take care of you. I'm not gonna do it again."

"Okay…?" I say. "What does that have to do with this? I'll make _that_ up to you too." Although, I'm still not entirely sure how, in any situation, we ended up at Tweek's place. Because every situation starts with him suggesting it, which is what I'm assuming.

"You're really-" he huffs, pinching the bridge of his nose. "You're really not listening," he mumbles.

"I am listening. But it's like your blaming me. And it's not all my fault."

"How isn't this your fault?"

"I was trashed and you just told me you knew it. You could've left the party. The guys would've taken me home." I wouldn't force him to do anything even if I was drunk. And if Tweek didn't want to do it, he's not the type to hesitate to kick the shit out of me. I'm not buying that he hated it all that much. Okay, but even if he did, "How'd we even get here? Did you drive?"

"We took your car but I drove."

" _What_?" I start laughing. I let him _drive_? That couldn't even have been me if I let him drive my truck. I scoff, "So even though I was sloppy drunk and bothering you _so_ much, you still drove me back to your place to fuck?"

Tweek starts throwing punches again but I'm ready to grab his wrists this time. "Don't get mad," I tell him. "Just accept my apology."

"I hate you."

"Don't say that," I pull him closer.

"You could've at least used lube, dick head."

"We didn't use lube?" How did that work? "Did we use a condom?"

"You didn't have one!"

"Wh- What do you mean _I_ didn't have one, we're at your house!"

He groans, "I'm not gonna do this again. I don't have any. Why would I?"

"'Why would you'?" I snort. "You should just have them."

He ignores me, rolling his eyes. God, he always kills the mood. "I promise I won't put it in."

He sighs heavily, "You're so annoying." He drops like dead weight. "You're not gonna stop and you're not even listening." He pinches my face.

I chuckle, "Nope- Ow! Fuck, let go!" I grab his hand again. I don't want whatever happened to be the last thing he remembers since it was _so horrible_. It might scare him off. Plus, there's something I've been wanting to try and this is the perfect opportunity.

I lean up to kiss him and tongue his mouth open. And Tweek kisses back.

" _Hm_." This is aggressive for eight in the morning and considering I just woke up… It's nice. It's almost like I'm still dreaming which seems really likely since Tweek let me sleep here. And he actually said yes to this. What does that mean? He really likes sex?

I kiss his collar and then pull off his shirt. I mess with his chest. He pants and watches me until I make eye contact with him. Then he closes his eyes. There's a bite mark on one of his nipples. His whole torso is wrecked. It's weird seeing it, knowing I did it but not remembering.

I yank down his boxers and kiss his upper thigh, then his inner thigh. He must think it's the same as last time because he just stays there with his eyes closed. If he knew what I was actually about to do I doubt he'd be so calm…

I dip my head between his legs and press my tongue against his entrance. Tweek gasps and his legs snap shut.

" _Ah_!- What are you doing?" he yelps, grabbing my hair. "A- _Are you insane_?" I want to ask him the same. He almost crushed my fucking head. But instead I tease him with my tongue, holding him by his thighs. "No! _Mm_ \- f- Stop-" He says stop but grips onto me tighter. _If you wanted me to stop, you'd have to let me go first_. "Don't, Craig, _Hah_ , please." Look at how he's reacting… Tweek's legs tremble and he starts getting hard. Looks like it feels really good. Fuck, I'm getting hard too.

I lap the area until it's slicked over and then I press my tongue into him. " _Mnn_ … No way." he whines, covering his face with his arm.

It's getting too tight. I hold his leg firmer so he doesn't choke me out and I hold him to keep him from arching too much from the bed.

"Your ass is so sensitive." I didn't really mean to say that out loud. I didn't think it'd sound that… dirty.

"Shut… up." I'm just saying for someone who was so against it, he seems to really enjoy it. He looks like he could come just from this. I must've just been really bad at finding his spot with my fingers? Was I not going deep enough? He probably wasn't that comfortable to begin with. We should try again. I think he might like it now and I could do it better.

Tweek's hard on has been leaking so much pre-come, it puddles on his stomach. My hand comes around his leg and starts jacking him off. He moans. The only bad thing about this is that I can't see his face that well.

He covers his mouth with his hand. "Are you close?" He gives a weak nod.

I finish Tweek off with my mouth. He lets out a silent whine and comes. I swallow like a gentleman. Only because he complained about the mess I had made last night and I feel bad about him dealing with me being as drunk as I was even though I have no idea how bad it really was.

"Better?" I ask. Tweek doesn't respond, still panting and trembling a little.

When Tweek finally does open his eyes, he says, "Fuck." He catches his breath and then looks at me.

I laugh, "What?"

"I didn't think you were gonna do _that_ ," he says.

"Looked like it felt really good."

"Shut up!" he flushes.

"Can I shower before I go?"

He covers his face with his hands. "God, what's wrong with you?" He sighs, "Do you really need to?"

"Don't be an asshole. Your room has a bathroom in it anyways, what's the big deal?"

"You didn't even get anything on you," he says glaring at the mess on him.

"Okay, but I went to bed gross from the party and then last night and right now."

He looks annoyed. "Hurry up and leave," he grumbles.

"Wow," I say, sitting up. "You come to my house and get pampered. I come to yours and get treated like shit."

"My parents are here," he defends, sitting up too. Otherwise it'd be different? I doubt it.

"So?"

Tweek gets a serious look. " _So,_ you need to leave quietly, asshole. Without seeing them."

"What's the big deal? They know I'm here."

He grabs me, "Listen, fuck face, I'm not kidding this time. I said you couldn't stay over and you did and now we're here like this." Weren't we both intoxicated. That's not fair to point fingers. "I don't want them to get the wrong idea, Craig, so please just shut your fucking mouth and leave." I don't say anything. He groans, "Stop making that face!" He rubs my forehead roughly. "Just listen to me for once. At least about this!"

"Fine!" I say, swatting away his hands. "I won't talk to them."

"Say you swear."

"I swear," I insist. And then I smirk, "You know, I think I've decided I like this position a lot."

He sighs and sits back, frustrated. "It's too early for this. I haven't even eaten breakfast."

"We could go get something," I suggest since 'his parents are here'.

"What?" It would definitely end up being my treat though. So, it wouldn't make up for his treatment compared to mine but I guess I was imposing anyways.

"Yeah," I check the clock again, "It's early enough. If you're hungry we could get breakfast somewhere."

He narrows his eyes at me. "Why would we do that?"

"If you were hungry," I reiterate. "And I said I'd make it up to you."

He looks contemplative. "I'm always hungry," he tells me.

"Cool. Then let's go after I shower."

He thinks some more and then says, "Alright, but I have to shower too."

"Do you wanna shower together?"

"No," he says, glaring "I'm going first."

"Just shower with me. It's faster."

"Don't fucking push it."

"You're no fun," I frown.

"You came inside me and I had to shower from that, and now I have to shower again."

"That's not my fault, you don't have condoms."

"Why would I need them? Shouldn't _you_ have the condoms?"

How dare he! "You're a guy too! What the fuck?" He should just have condoms in general.

"It's your dick, so shouldn't you get your own condoms? I don't even know what kind you get. What if I got the wrong size? It's stupid if I'm buying them for you and I don't need them anyway."

I palm my face. God, now I feel dumb for thinking he was sleeping with other people before. He doesn't even own condoms for himself because he reasons he doesn't need them. What kind of thought process is that? You should have them just to have them but even if I said this I feel like he wouldn't get it. Girls carry condoms and they don't even have dicks. Now I have to get him condoms?

"You're so annoying," I grumble.

"No, _you're_ the annoying one."

"Whatever, shower then! I'm starving!" And now we have to stop somewhere to pick up condoms for you.

He gets up and grabs some underwear, "I'll be fast. Don't touch anything. I'll know." I hear him click the door lock too. What a dick.

I check my phone. No messages… yet.

That makes sense. Everyone's probably still asleep. I don't remember but I must've bailed on the guys. We were gonna Uber anyways but still… They're not just gonna over look this. I'm sure my exit wasn't graceful either and I can't remember anything I did after a certain point which isn't good when I have secrets. I should just tell them but that's a whole thing. I don't want to deal with it. I don't want to get emotional and I don't care about what they think about it. I wish they just knew.

"Hmf." I can see this being boring. This can't be the only bathroom in the house. What kind of kid has their own bathroom? I guess a single child. I'm bored, I'm gonna take a shower in another bathroom. I swing my legs over the side of the bed and hit something sticking out from under. It's a shoebox. Porn perhaps? Tweek's weird. I wouldn't put it past him to have porn hidden in a box under his bed. I pull it out and open it. My jaw drops. Holy shit, what is this?!

How much money is this? A thousand? It has to be more than that. It's practically overflowing I don't really know how much money looks like in real life now that I'm trying to gauge it though. I close it and slide it back in place. That's kind of scary. Why is he hiding money under his bed? Is he a hitman? …I should look around. This could be my only chance to.

Tweek's room is pretty small and empty. To be fair, it's not that big to begin with. There's a bed, a closet, and a nightstand. Everything's really clean too. There's no dust, no stains, his sheets are white; I can see why he's so mad about me ruining them. In the nightstand, there's headphones, a charger, some tissues, a lot of boring stuff. I open his closet- quietly so he doesn't hear through the walls. Even his clothes are extra organized. There's some suitcases and bags on the top shelf, his clothes are hung and color coordinated, there's a small dresser with three drawers and there's a hamper. The only clothes in it look like they're from last night. I didn't think I was a messy person… but I'm kind of embarrassed that he saw our house now. I pull open the first drawer of the dresser.

How convenient. I grab a towel.

I don't want to get caught so I'll leave it at that. It's even weirder now that I found that money since there's literally nothing else noteworthy in his room. It's actually kind of scary how bare his room is.

I find the bathroom and take a _real_ quick shower. I change back into my clothes. They smell like Tweek's jacket did.

When I exit the bathroom, I run into Tweek's dad. He's holding a mug. It's quiet and we stare at each other. I can't help but wonder why everyone in this house is such a freak. "Hello," he greets.

"Good morning, sir."

"There's coffee in the kitchen," he tells me, lifting the mug a little. "If you drink it." Then he continues past me down the steps.

Obviously, I follow him to the kitchen. I'm actually pretty hung over and Tweek's taking his sweet time. His dad pours me my own glass.

I take a sip. Scorching, just how I like it. "It's good. Thank you."

"How are you, Craig?"

"I'm fine, sir. What about you?"

"You don't have to be so polite." He laughs a little. "It's strange. This is the first time we're talking," he says. "You and Tweek have boxed together for so long and this is the first time I've really met you."

"Yeah," I chuckle nervously. At least he doesn't remember me from the incident when we were kids. He could be avoiding the topic for my sake. But, I have a weird feeling…

"I don't mean anything by it," he assures me. "I know Tweek's extremely reserved. He doesn't have many friends but ever since he started boxing with you he's been so much happier." He sips his coffee. Now I feel kind of bad. Tweek didn't want me talking to his parents because he knew they'd say something embarrassing.

"We always pestered him to invite you over for dinner but he would brush us off."

"He was really against ever inviting me over. He says we're not even friends." I don't know why I'm telling Tweek's dad this but he laughs and it's warm.

"Yeah, sounds like him." He shakes his head and looks at me, "Take care of him, Craig. He means well."

"O- of course." Fuck. Just the way he said that threw me off.

"You know, I don't think Tweek would care for many friends either," he tells me. "I think he's afraid of getting close to people, but I know he gets lonely too." I'm not really sure what to say. This feels like he knows Tweek and I are in a relationship and we… aren't even in one. And just, why would Tweek's dad's first assumption be that we're together? It's almost like he _knows_ Tweek is gay… and Tweek isn't? And I get this huge sense that I'm just an idiot who believes anything I'm told. Ha, ha. "I must sound strange. I guess I'm just really glad Tweek met you," he says.

"Come to dinner sometime," he smiles.

I retract my freak statement. Mr. Tweak is so pure.

"Yeah," I say. "And thank you for letting me stay here."

"Anytime. We only care that you boys are safe." He refills his cup. Did his parents know we were at a party? I shouldn't say anything just in case they didn't. "You're always welcomed here," Tweek's dad tells me.

"Richard, have you seen my- Hello," Tweek's mother comes down the stairs and into the kitchen with us. "You're awake. Good morning," she smiles with bright eyes.

Yeah, pretty wholesome. At first I thought it was weird but it's true. Tweek and I have been boxing together for years. So, even though I don't know his parents, it makes sense that they'd know of me. I didn't expect them to like me so much though. But if I'm the only person Tweek talks to it would make sense.

"If I'd known you were staying over I would've had breakfast ready by now," she says.

"You don't have to do that just for me. Plus, Tweek and I were gonna grab something from a diner."

His mother gushes, "Oh, how sweet."

A door slams upstairs and Tweek comes charging down the steps. He pauses for a moment, probably evaluating the situation. Then he grabs my arm, tightly. "We're going out," he tells his parents. His parents stare at him.

He adds, tightly, " _For breakfast_." Then he drags me out the front door. He pretty much throws me and walks to the passenger side of the truck. I unlock it for us, we get in, and he slams the door, unnecessarily hard.

I laugh. "Are you really that upset? You'll feel better once you eat."

"Why did you say you wouldn't? What was the point of lying?" he asks, annoyed. "That was so unnecessary and uncalled for."

"Okay," I tell him. "I'm sorry. I got bored so I took a shower downstairs and then I ran into your dad." He doesn't say anything. "I didn't really think you were serious." He still doesn't say anything. "Why didn't you want me talking to your parents though? They're really nice."

"What is wrong with you?" he asks, genuinely. "It's not about that!"

"What'd you mean?" Tweek gets angrier but I think anything I said would've made him mad.

"It doesn't matter that they're nice, Craig. It seems like you specifically talked to them because I told you not to."

"But they already knew."

" _But I never told them!_ " Tweek snaps. "And it wasn't up to you to decide!"

I grow silent and look out the window. We're both silent for a moment.

"That's not what I meant to do."

"It's my fault for inviting you at all," he mumbles.

I sigh, rubbing my forehead. "I don't want you to think that either," I mutter. "I'm sorry, okay? Really… I know how that is." I went too far after going too far last night. This strategy of mine is quickly failing.

"But still," I say. "Your parents know and they're nice. You should appreciate that."

"We should change the subject," he cuts me off.

"Where do you want to eat? I'll take you anywhere." I buckle my seatbelt

With that Tweek finally glances at me again. He looks at the gauges and then out the window again. "Can we go somewhere far?" At first I think he simply wants to drive and I agree, turning the truck on. If that'll make him feel better, I don't mind. But then he adds, "Somewhere no one would know us."

I put the truck in reverse. "It's gonna be a little while."

"If you don't mind driving," he says in a way that lets me know this is the only thing that will make it up to him.

I snort, "Yeah, whatever. You have to at least pretend to enjoy yourself then."

"This isn't a date," he clarifies. Tweek's a lot of, 'say one thing, do the opposite.' I don't know. Do I even respond to that? Dick head, I'm driving you through beautiful Colorado scenery (with the sun roof down because I know you like it), taking you to get food (somewhere else so we can enjoy it and not worry about people we know seeing us together). This is a date and he's lying if he says otherwise. But if we can have our date on the terms that we don't call it that, fine. I'll wait until it's over to point it out to him. No matter how you look at it, this is a date. That's why he had to say it wasn't.

"Obviously not. I wouldn't date you, Tweek."

"…"

"Not so nice, is it?"

"Shut up, asshole. I don't care!" Tweek starts messing with the radio and I laugh.

* * *

 _I've been working on this chapter for an eternity so there might be problems with it efg. If there are any major ones just lmk in the reviews and I'll fix it. And thanks for all the feedback, you guys are great._

 _P.s. school started again and my school is very… intensive. Basically, I might not post again until thanksgiving or even later depending on how the next chapter goes. But I really intend to finish this story so bear with me!_


	26. Chapter 26

**Last Night**

" _Are you sleeping?" I grab Craig's arm. "Hey, asshole," I shake him but, it's pointless. Craig has passed out and after all that, I doubt anything in the world could wake him up._

 _I huff, still slightly out of breath._

 _What the fuck was that?! He's such a pervert. Fuck. I can't breathe. It's so hot. I shove my face in my pillow. Fuck. Why did I like that so much?! "Ugh." Where did that come from? Is that what he meant when he said he wanted a safe word? So, he could do shit like that?_

 _Ah, but we didn't actually come up with one so him pulling that shit out of nowhere completely shitfaced was kind of scary, for real. I didn't know how many times he was gonna do it or if I could stop him if I wanted to. Craig's a lot bigger than me. If he's already holding me down, there's not much I can do. But, my masochistic brain kind of liked that more, knowing deep down I was safe because it's Craig. "_ Ugh! _" I shove my face in the pillow. I almost passed out, I think._

 _I thought what we'd been doing was fine. I had no idea what I was compromising…_ What the fuck am I thinking _?!_

 _I stare at him. He's knocked out. God, he's in_ my _bed! I really didn't want him to stay the night. In hindsight, I'm not sure what my plan was. I just hadn't thought it through enough. I didn't think about how if I brought him here like this, he would pass out for the night and then I'd have to explain to my parents in the morning that he's here so they don't freak out when they see his truck and him leaving._

 _I also didn't think he'd get that drunk though. Augh, look at him, he's disgusting! He's covered in sweat and semen… I can't really get mad because we ruined his bed too but… dammit, my sheets._

 _When I try to stand, my legs give. It's pathetic and I'm grateful that Craig wasn't awake to witness it. I look at the jackass in my bed again and consider throwing him outside or in his truck. I don't know why I brought him here. I cover my face again. Shit. Why did I bring him here? I was doing so well._

 _If he had just said yes, when I asked to hang out… I wouldn't have gone to the party._

 _It was a bad night. The more I sat with myself, the worse it got. I smoked but that didn't help. Then I tried to box it off and for the first time that didn't work either. I started to freak out, but I knew what I needed- or w- wanted…_

 _Anything would've been better, even a stupid party where I didn't know anyone. Then maybe, we'd fuck anyways._

 _But then, Craig wanted to take shots. I told him I didn't drink and he thought I meant I wouldn't be helpful._ As if I give a shit about his stupid fucking drinking games _! I can't drink on my meds. He can't think that hard though and would try to make me feel bad for that._

 _I hate liquor anyway. It tastes bad, it's not good for you, it makes you throw up, you get hung over and you make stupid choices you wouldn't make otherwise. Craig in my bed right now being case, point. I can't believe I even considered humoring him. I took a shot like I was gonna do it and I did. I really thought about it. But,_ why _?!_

 _I get up again. My legs are so weak and it pisses me off. It pisses me off because it kind of turns me on and I hate myself. I grab a rag from the bathroom. I rinse it in the sink with warm water. I don't want my bed to get any worse than it is... Maybe I can salvage it. I made a mistake and now I have to deal with it tomorrow too._

 _I'm gonna kick his ass when he wakes up._

 _I come back out of the bathroom and glare at his figure more. This isn't weird because we fuck and- Well, what are my fucking options here?! Let him ruin everything? I want to scrub angrily until he bleeds but instead I grab his arm gently and lightly run the rag over his skin. I get his arms, his legs, the unmentionables too… I get a clean rag and come back to finish with his face. He must have been really hammered, he's not even moving._

 _What an asshole. I push his hair back with the rag. He messes with me but he's prettier than I am. I'm not ugly but I'm a guy, I'm not pretty. Craig's attractive though. I think a lot of people would consider him pretty. I'm sure a lot of people do… I_ know _. Everyone at school ogles over him but nobody can talk to him because they all think he's some stoic, cool guy that will kick your ass. I snicker and cover his face with the rag and my hand. So far from the truth. If only they knew how lame he really was._

 _Then he says he only got invited to Jenna's party because of Token and Clyde. Craig makes a noise and I continue to mess with him, shoving my finger in his nose through the cloth. He swats me away so I leave him alone, returning to the bathroom to rinse the rag._

 _I blush again in the mirror. He practically confessed- and then he cried… I thought he'd be better at holding his liquor. Loser. I wonder if he'll remember any of that. Was it just drunk talk? He was so sloppy, it's better to forget about it. People are reckless when they're drunk. Of course, he's gonna say dumb shit to me because of our relationship._

 _I should take a shower. I turn the knob on and clean my room while I wait for it to heat up. I throw his clothes in a wash so he'll have something clean to wear tomorrow and they won't be rotting on my floor. I get a bottle of water for whenever he wakes up. I don't need him exploring by himself._

 _God, this feels so gross. I think what I'm the most upset about is that he came_ in _me! I watch a lot of porn and they always make it seem so hot but it's not at all. I thought it was the worst feeling ever until I started cleaning it out._

 _That was much worse._

 _After everything, I crawl back into bed with Craig. He still reeks of weed, alcohol, and BO. Somehow, it's not bad. I know I'm waking up before him so I slink up against his back. He's really warm. I'm almost asleep when I realize he hasn't even been snoring this whole. I'm grateful but… I push him over so he lies on his stomach instead. Although, if he really does vomit in my bed, I'll never talk to him again._


End file.
